Kitchen Mayhem

One of the key benefits of bachelor hood are that you can lie in bed for hours and hours watching some awesome flick on WB (my favorites nowadays) and HBO (My old favorite) without doing anything.
But there comes a time when God decides to punish you and you get a call in middle of 'Dirty Harry' from your girl friend, that she is coming to your house for lunch!!!!

Oh man, oh man, oh, too reluctantly you have to get up. Try a feeble attempt in cleaning up the room, which fails in vain. C'mon, how will I know where the bourbon packet I eat have fallen? I mean, do I have to pick them up every time I eat???

Well, if you are alone in the room Julius Maggi's invention(Maggie noodles) is enough for you to survive the harsh day, but what do you do when your girlfriend wants to visit you? And oh yes, do I need to mention that do whatever, she will come and dust your cushions and show the face of disgust, 'क्या हाल किया है रूम का??' (What is the state of room you live???)

So, apparently recently I went through all the trauma of having Dipu in my room for lunch and trying to cook a not-so-delicious-but-life-saver meal!!!!

Well, to be frank my entry into kitchen is limited to life-saving items like Tea, Coffee, Maggie Noodles and sometimes Egg omelette (Which I have never managed to make properly and end up making a scrambled egg, I call it special burji to hide the shame)

So what do I do to please Dipu in the middle of the day?

Tan ta da....Google Devta to the rescue and lo an behold, in the .13 Second a idea crops in my mind, on the .19 Second I open Google and type, 'Bachelor Recipe' and it returns me 842,000 options in .21 Sec to impress my girlfriend.

Google devta kii jay ho!!!!

But hey, the recipe is far from saving my day, its too complex for a simple man to understand. So, neighbor auntiji to the rescue...tan ta da...

I 'cooked', yeah I cooked a decent lunch!!! heh heh heh...

Ok, don't inquire at my neighbor, Aunty Ji, she will say she cooked that day but she just helped me ok. I did all the important stuff like buying paneer and mutter, she just did the rest.

So for all my pals out here, I am adding up a bonus feature for secret recipe for paneer mutter, hand cooked and known to impress girlfriends, see how beneficial it is to follow up my blog!!!

(Psst. I am worst cook, so i have juiced up the recipe a bit. Try at your own risk...)

Super Duper Chatter Mutter Panner.
1) 1/2 Kg Paneer
2) Mutter (Green peas Duh!!)
3) Oil (I borrowed this from Auntji)
4) 1 Onion (If you are quick you can get this in market for free, yeah!!!)
5) 1 Tomato
6) 1 Potato
7) 2 Green Chilli
8) Garlic
9) Regular garnish (I am not sure what all comes under this section but I saw some holi colours of yellow and red in there. Yo)
10) Water (1 and half cup is more than enough, don't use tap water.)
11) Special secret ingredient: Cheese.
The thing:
  • Cut paneer into cubes and then fry them till they are golden brown in 3 TBS oil. (psst. You can as well eat them now, they taste awesome, sacchi)
  • In the same Pan with about 2 TBS oil remaining, put 1 tsp of cumin seed and put finely chopped onions..and two green chillis sliced in halves(for flavor)
  • When the onions are transparent, added 4 cloves garlic and half inch ginger both crushed together..
  • Now add one potato cut into half inch cubes, and half a cup of mutter, and one tomato finely chopped.
  • Add half tsp of cumin powder, 1 tsp coriander seed powder, half tsp Chilli powder, and turmeric to your measurement-half tsp should do. (The regular garnish thing, don't put the chilli powder fingers in your eyes, it pains)
  • Cover and cook till potatoes are done in low heat. (I tried to keep flame low and it extinguished so try medium flame)
  • Add the paneer and fry together for 5 minutes, add salt.
  • Add one and half cup of boiling water.
  • When gravy becomes thick, garnish with coriander/cilantro.
  • Secret move: Grate cheese on top and serve.
This picture is what you will get, I don't have a digi cam on my room, so couldn't take snap of the day. But hey, the day was saved.

Thank you Larry, Thank you Sergei, Thank you Google and thank you Auntyji, without you I could not get the prize that day. (Ok, not an award wining recipe or even Tarla Dalal quality, but hey you should have seen the smile on Dipu's face and the prize I got....maaamia!!!!)

On an ending note, she was happy and she also did not find the beer can deep below my bed, so I was happy. I hope you also have a field day with my super duper chatter mutter panner.


P.s. Bless me with you comments!!!

On Blog updates:
I have just made this blog browser friendly by removing unnecessary script and codes. Also the blog load speed has been reduced considerably by loading only few post.
I am nearing 100th post of my blog, so I hope you are there for the super post.


  1. This says how a man can go crazy if a girl is about to visit his house and hence we get to read blogs like this!

  2. u know...if you are getting a beauty...even a beast would want to cook!!!

  3. Haha... can truly understand... having a girlfriend can be tough at times like these...
    Atleast you were able to cook I would not have been able to cook only maggie (if you call it cooking)

  4. interesting story with a receipe like it nice pic.

  5. @mukund...
    for noble souls like you i posted a recipe...if I can do it...anyone else can...;)
    All the best to impress your gf...

    Thank you dude..

  6. i can cook this......but what about the girlfriend!!!!!!!????...:)

    great post.



  7. @paramveer
    Dude...i do not know the recipe to get the girlfriend...but all the best on your quest!!


What do you think about the post? Have your say, like, dislike or even hate me. Tell me.

You might also want to Subscribe to RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter (@sidoscope) or on facebook

I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.


Contact Form


Email *

Message *