Brang brang brang...censor board, censor board....naah, don't let the title of the post agitate you or angry you. The verbal abuse is not intended towards any human but towards actual suar as in Pig as in Swine, yeah got the point??
Why the big red note? My feedjit shows people coming from google, hunting for information, I have to guide them right???
So what made me write such crazy post on such critical issue??? Well, I roamed around Pune, without a mask , to find some very funny and crazy things related to swine flu.
Aaah, dude, don't you have any seriousness towards the epidemic?
Actually no, I believe its just like SARS(remember few days ago, China) human body became immune to the disease.
I entered Dorabjee and was shopping for mayonnaise, at that moment a girl from cosmetic counter sneezed. Three girls shopping at that counter left the counter immediately. Oh man, not good??
One IT professional, 'You see Swine flu is the marketing ploy from pharmaceutical companies. They want to divert attention from recession. Damm, no one talks now about how I was wrongly fired,'
One very intelligent person, 'Swine flu happens to only those who eat pork, as we do not eat me and my family are immune.' ROFL.
'Oye Pandya kidhar hai?' [Where is Pandhya? Probably nickname of their friend]
'Aaj College nahi aya' [He did not come to college today]
'So gaya kya, hospital bed pe' [Is he hospitalized]
'Usko suar ka rog kya hoga, woh khud suar ka rog hai..'[He is immune to swine flu, the pigs will catch flu from him]
On the traffic signal, the traffic signal executive(I really don't know what to call those kids selling stuff on traffic signal. Executive, cos they sell their products within 20 seconds, some marketing guru???),
'Sahab, mask' showing the dirty surgical mask (I often wondered who supplies this stuff to them?? They sell books, roses, statues and now surgical mask!!!!)
'Kitne ka hai?' [How much does it cost?]
'Kitne ko dega?' [My bargaining style, never works, I wish Dipu was here. She reduces price from 50 to 5!!!]
'Aapke liye 30 ko deta hoon, 60 ko do lo' [I will give you one for 30, 2 for 60 'exclusively' for you. I am sure he says this to every one around]
Seeing the signal starting 'Nahi lena' [Not interested]
'Acha 25, hamara khareedi nahi hai' [Ok 25, we got this for 25 only]
'Nahi bola na' [No don't want]
'Ok...last 20' [Oh my, the 100% guarantee mask reducing price :P]
I kick my bike. 'Acha 10 ko?' his voice trails away as I speed up....last bargain was 10, the mask original cost is Rs 1.
My friend calling me, 'Sid, prepare your last will,'
'We all are gonna die'
'Oh, so whom are you giving your stuff too?? Aliens?? Try me'
'Fullfil all your last desires man,' he explains.
'I wanted to slap a brit before dying' [That is actually my desire, no offense Brits, the prejudice is historical not personal] me.
'Aah now no time for that, you will die restless' he.
'Dude, get a life, if you are dead today, you will die a virgin death...ha ha ha' me.
In my office,
'I am gonna wear this mask the whole day in office,' a intelligent colleague.
'Oh wow, are you on fast?'
'How are you going to eat food?'
'Err... I will remove it in cafeteria'
'Oh...the whole office will be eating there right? so whats the point in wearing the mask???'
Some INTELLIGENT man, 'You see my son, this marks the end of kalyug, we are all going to die. Judgement day is here'
'Didn't you say that for LHC machine? for SARS and for AIDS too??
One interesting point to note,
'Swine Flu is spreading via air, everyone knows.
Swine Flu is a epidemic, everyone knows.
A surgical mask can prevent 66% infection, everyone buys the 1 rs mask for 10 rs.
'AIDS is spreading, everyone knows.
A condom can prevent AIDS 100%, everyone knows.
A condom is just for 3 bucks, no one buys it!!!!!'
Gosh...such a pity. Ek Suar aadmi ko kya kya karvata hai... [One pig can cause so much trouble to mankind]
The good news is, office is coming up with work from home, the bad news is, malls, multiplexes are also going to remain close. I thinking of getting a pack of cards, risk and monopoly and yeah blogging too...
Oh and hey, don't fugget to see the new header for Sidoscope.
Stay Safe. Stay fit.
Image Credits: ofcourse google images.
tumhe tumhare mask ki kasam...comment maro...:P