Ignorance is not bliss: Boundry Line

There are some things in my life which I don't understand, like the auto-rickshaw fare meter for example, try what I may, the auto-wala always asks for more money than I calculated, makes you wonder is it actually 'fair'?  or whatever increment I receive my take home salary is always less than what I had expected!!!

The things I don't understand are to be touched some other time, maybe when pigs fly, there are many other things which are understandable but tend to be ignored.


Some political person once said, 'India was never a Hindu nation'... I agree, the only religion followed sincerely in India since the beginning is cricket.
Now, I seriously have no prejudice against cricket, but I do not feel, watching eleven people run hay ware for a ball (which is also never seen in TV cameras, the camera moves and shows a projectile but I never saw a ball in the camera) hit by one person for three hours, is a good way of entertainment.
Plus, every time I by heart the names of Indian cricket team, they change drastically, making my efforts a mockery!!!
I take the pains of learning the names of cricketers, I make sure I write them on my arm (I managed to crack exams using the technique, obviously this is a piece of cake)and I proudly take it on to the canteen to share the knowledge with my pals,
'So how is XYZ scoring?' I ask.

They give me the do-you-still-live-in-stone-age look, 'Dude, XYZ is not even playing with the team, where are you?'

Some names are like savers in your life. For e.g., your code stopped working on client side ('Oye, tera code fatt gaya,' proclaims the boss, means your code is torned) so you have a saver, 'How come our testing team did not notice it' (ignoring the fact that the bug was not at all supposed to come up with any testing...)

Well, not exactly effective but a saver, similarly in cricket there are some savers, like Tendulkar. There will hardly be any living person alive who does not know Tendulkar (I am not considering people living in aritic, antartica and Himalayas)
So sitting in the cafeteria, a spark of brilliance, 'Hey how much did Tendulkar score?'
Again the do-you-still-live-in-stone-age look, 'Dude, he has called in sick, he won't be playing this match.'

There goes my reputation catching the early flight abroad and there comes another blow hitting hard where I am not looking.

'Dude, stop talking if you don't understand it.' Yeah, right, wait when you come back on your desk and ask me to write you a algorithm.

Now, my maths is fine, I mean I am one of those guys who still are in friendly terms with maths since first grade, I can solve complex differential equation within a jiffy and give you a solution.

I can predict your chances of winning a lottery to the precision of .9999 as probability is my favorite subject but all this mindless boasting is history as I was never able to grasp the concept of run rate and win rate.

People who hide in their closet to solve simple algebraic problem, sit in front of the television having a serious discussion on the run-rate like they are nuclear scientist.

'The run rate is 9.2, I think we could do better,' one "genius".
'No but the kiwi's where at 6.3 at this point. So this run rate is better,' second "genius"

Now 9.2 is greater than 6.3, obviously any fifth grader will tell you, and I am smarter than a fifth grader (if any one is wondering and asking)

So I pour in my inputs, 'Yeah, I think we can easily win at this rate.'

Dhadam, the jinx works like magic, the 9.2 scorer gets run out, all heads turn towards me. Not to mention the match is lost.

I look around for a trap door maybe. Find none.

My friend hosted a T20 cricket party at his house, all of us gathered carrying packets of chips, bottles of coke, loads of pop corn for the house party to gawk at the cheer leaders and have fun and friendly gambling on the teams.

As I carried my glass of coke to the living room my friend shouted, 'Wait, don't move.'
I stood there carrying a glass of coke right into the middle of room,
'Everybody, don't move a inch,' he said, 'Its critical moment.'

One friend got tired and said, 'Dude I need a place to sit.' and sat on the sofa, immediately the wicket fell, 'Damm, told you' shouted the first friend.

The next 2 hours the second person had to watch the match standing on a square inch of the block. I on the other hand, quickly sat on the chair while the advertisement was on and did not get up till the match ended.

There are people who use the lemons hung on the door to make nimbu pani, there are people who do not behave strangely on when a black cat crosses them on the street but these people will sit in positions impossible for even yoga gurus just to make sure their jinx on the match works.

You will see them wince every time Ramdev Baba comes on screen, but will see them do the same asans once their cricketer comes on pitch.

The above write up is to be considered a simple form of humor and please pardon me if I have hurt any of your "religious" sentiments. Do not chase me with cricket bats and stumps and also do not try to hammer them on your computer screens.

You know, if I try hard, I can actually try to understand cricket, or maybe simply cheer for team India like celebrities, maybe even put a holiday for a India-Pakistan match, but frankly I do not wish to spend my time understand the game, unless I am paid heavily for it (are you looking for another humorous commentator with the name Siddhu?)

I am really happy doing the later than spend time and brain power doing the former. Howazzzat?

P.s. Thank you blogger friends for all the generous awards, I am really at my wits end of distributing them as I don't want to miss out anyone. Btw..coming up with a new awards wall to showcase my awards and drafting a post for the awards.

13 comments

  1. Hahaha.. that was good.. and same here.. when I was in school, I had this cricket craze but after I grew up, I lost interest in it.. I really feel it is a mindless game watched by jobless people who have nothing better to do in life.. These days I feel that game is soooo boring to watch..I would rather watch football than cricket.. when people start discussing cricket, I just escape from the place or tell them "I am not interested in cricket" :)

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  2. @Ashwini
    heh heh..glad the first commentor is not a cricket fan...:D

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  3. and good for u...u get chance to escape...noting like that for me...:(

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  4. :))

    "Now, my maths is fine, I mean I am one of those guys who still are in friendly terms with maths since first grade, I can solve complex differential equation within a jiffy and give you a solution.

    I can predict your chances of winning a lottery to the precision of .9999 as probability is my favorite subject but all this mindless boasting is history as I was never able to grasp the concept of run rate and win rate."

    Well... there is a theory that even the most profound "genius" cannot unravel or make head or tail of. And that is the "Duckworth-Lewis method" aka D/L method.

    Only 2 people in this whole wide world nay universe... can make sense of it and they are Mr. Duckworth and Mr. Lewis respectively! ;)


    "As I carried my glass of coke to the living room my friend shouted, 'Wait, don't move.'
    I stood there carrying a glass of coke right into the middle of room,
    'Everybody, don't move a inch,' he said, 'Its critical moment.'"

    Even the great Kapil Dev made Srikanth stand for hours on end... in a particular pose (near the players entrance/exit @ the stadium)... during the 1983 World Cup. And since then Srikanth has been claiming credit for that momentous victory! :D

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  5. Check out my blog.. Have some surprises for you :)

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  6. You will see them wince every time Ramdev Baba comes on screen, but will see them do the same asans once their cricketer comes on pitch.:D

    your brilliant knack of creating such ingenuous stuff from very simple things makes you different....
    a perfect mixture of wit and humor I say..;)

    but beware I am a cricket AC....

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  7. Lol well I used to be a huge cricket fan till the 10th grade.Lost interest after that or should I say I grew wiser? :P
    It's totally unfair how a silly game steals the spotlight from all other forms of sports and athletics in our country.
    I mean..come on get a life.Watch tennis or soccer or golf for a change.

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  8. good one dude...makes me ponder as well! blame kapil for winning the wc :(!

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  9. @Roshmi
    thats something... wll post more on duckworth lwis method soon...:D

    @Ashwini
    bows

    @Rahul
    :D thank you for the complement...:D

    @Sammy
    Watch out will elaborate golf next...:P :D

    @Harry
    heh heh...welcome 2 sidoscope buddy...:D

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  10. firstly let me tell u i am this crazy about cricket and a big fan of indian cricket team!

    i woke up this morning with the bad news that india lost last nite 2 pakistan and was frustrated since then!

    and then i read this post awesomely written and hilarious loved it!

    :)

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  11. @Neha
    Thank you...:D now thats something...this blog reduces frustration...wu huu!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. hey you have received an award. check my blog

    ReplyDelete
  13. That was really good. I loved cricket but my husband is a great follower and now sometimes i really hate it!!:-) My daughter is like you trying to grasp it, makes comments and gets her scolding of the day from her father!!

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