Because Life is too important to be taken seriously.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Teachers: Aaj Kal

This post has been published by me on the occasion of the Teachers' Day as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 2; the second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
For me the horrors of school life are not limited to the algebra problems or the history of beings. The nightmares began with the chapter Mogli and the Bunder log with me renamed as the Mogli and my friends as the banderlog!!!
Nowadays schools teaching method have changed, nowadays it seems they explore the inner quality of the child… i actually cried the day, the school teacher reported my bhanji’s ability to paint moustaches on the faces in history book was consider a hidden passion for contempory art, for in my school days painting a moustache for considered an opportunity to test the strength of your fingers as the teachers hits you with wooden rulers.
Oh well, you know whenever I try to think of my school days in the nineties… all I remember is the slaps, wooden rulers and wounds.

My sister asked me for a favor to visit the bhanji’s parents teachers meeting as a guardian, immediately the old tickers started in my mind about the ‘parent-teachers’ meeting in our day.
There where only two ways the both evil empires met, when my teacher invited them to mention how good I am at bad things and send…the dreaded, the evil most and the horrible…Open day!!!
You usually do not like the people talking bad things about you in your front right? Siddhesh is this…siddhesh is that… I mean hello, I am standing there right in front of you!!!
Then the stare by my mom as if she has received the beacon of trashing me from the teachers and the evil grin on the face of the teacher… the flashback pulled me back to reality!!!!
‘Welcome, you are her guardian? Please take a seat.’ Oh yeah, the weapons are sharpened!!!
‘You see, she scored very poor in her exams,’ went on the teacher. Ossum…Khunas…badla…now my sis is gonna trash her.
‘And we feel you are to blame for that!!!’ Oye…I already have received my trashing in my childhood.
‘She tells us that you both watch cartoon channel together? I will suggest sir that you better take her studies at home,’ Hullo? where is she doesn’t study at all thingy???
‘We are also conducting a special workshop on attentiveness, being a guardian you can also visit, I think you need it more than her.’ What the??? I mean is this my open day again???
Damm modern education system.
The other day my bhanji came crying to me that the teacher punished her for doing mischief in class (yeah she has my qualities, everyone says so) the teachers asked her to do lines…poo poo!!! Only lines? Again the old film reel… The punishment in my school days… You know I always wondered the geography teacher was earlier from Hogwarts, for she always said, ‘Nahi toh murga bana dungi’ (Do it or i will make you into a cock) transformation?
Well, then there was this geometry teacher who made girls slap boys if they did not do homework…yeah izzat ka kachra (slang for feeling ashamed)!!!!
Punishment varied from getting hit on the knuckles with wooden scales to running rounds of the ground four to five times!!!
My sister called me one afternoon and asked me to collect my bhanji from school, it seems her stomach was aching in the middle of Physical Training class. The school had called a in-house doctor and had asked the parents to pick her up, I remember out PT instructor, when I informed my stomach was aching, he twisted my stomach so hard that it actually started aching, then not stopping there he made me run around the ground more three times!!!
The school system has hanged drastically since the days I went to school. Now torturing the children is a criminal offense…damm…I wanted to get the beacon from my parents.
I hope you like this not so short write up!!!
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton are Vipul, Rajalakshmi, Dhiman, Ranee[1], [2], [3] , Avada, Indian Pundit, Sojo, Aneet, Pramathesh, Aativas, Sid, Pra, Ajinkya, Lakshmi, Govind, Shilpa, Bharathi, Shankar, Mytuppence, Azad, Pawan, Pankaja, Saimanohar, Guria, Shruti, Vishnu,Nasrajan and Richa. Click on their respective names to read their posts on Teachers : Aaj Kal. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
Say What:

41 comments:

  1. Hey sid.. very nice.. as usual filled with humor.. "geometry teacher who made girls slap boys if they did not do homework" - oh boy! that is something I never knew could happen :) so how many times did you receive and from how many girls? ;)
    Btw read my writeup on this topic if you find time..

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  2. heh heh heh...i got it only once...and the girls hand pained...she had to stand up on desk to reach my face...:P

    I read ur post...will comment on it soon...

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  3. I think the punishments all over India is same. very humorous post. I litterally laughed after reading "he twisted my stomach so hard that it actually started aching"

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  4. Hey Sid the Kid's times & bhanji's times you did the best analysis of teacher - now and then :D ...

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  5. Hillarious! great comparison.Yes I think there is not much changes in the ways of teaching yet!
    Only no wooden rular thank god!:-)

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  6. hehe SRK is back :D. As usual funny and great post. Reminded me of my school days when all the boys of our class were suspended in our 10th class for 2 months just before the public exams for disrupting classes :P. I mean we directly went to collect the hall ticket in april after getting suspended in Feb :D

    Wonderful days .. and wonderful write up :D

    keep writing

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  7. @Dhiman...
    I actually felt both the times...:D

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  8. @Pra
    I never learned anything in school....so i cannot really compare it...;)

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  9. @Aditya
    Dude...m not ejjactly back cannot miss the blog-a-ton for nething...:D

    u were mischevious...;)

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  10. Great post Sid bhai.

    Short and sweet with lots of Humour.

    Cheers

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  11. As usual Very Siddy.
    I liked to be a nuisance to our teacher. My favorite pastime. And best of all, I always got rid of punishments. I was very smart.

    I hope Sid was also as smart. And that is why he could write this.

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  12. A very funny and interesting take on the topic!! ;))

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  13. @sid
    hope my comment get published!
    Am trying from 1 AM(IST)!!

    ""how good I am at bad things""
    You are so generous in letting out your secrets

    ""you both watch cartoon channel together?""
    hehehe! I started laughing at this! Don be SiD the Kid! Grow up Sid!

    I loved this so much sid!

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  14. @Prathamesh
    Hey thanks brother...i was smart...but apparently teachers proved smarter than me....;)

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  15. @Shruti
    But its not fair...right?? In our days they used to blame the kid...now they blame the parents...:( :D

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  16. A very good write up :)....i dont think open days cld be explained better.. :D

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  17. ha ha reminded the punishments of my school days .. one of the teacher in my high school had a cruel method of pinching hard the stomach ouch tat would hurt much ( tat's wat my frens said)but somehow i escaped from him ..

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  18. Hmm, different URL! :)

    By the way, I'm sure this is something you are completely used to but still...

    Go to my blog! Now!

    No, this is not a novel way of increasing traffic to your blog!! :D

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  19. Vintage Sid!
    :))

    Now you've gone and given me a stomach ache!I've been laughing so hard through your post, "Ravan,"--Or are you now in your Kans avatar??

    I can relate to all your experiences, both then and now!
    I've enjoyed this one thoroughly.

    One little piece of advice if you want to take it from me. Please pay a little more attention to your grammar and punctuation--Sorry, that's the teacher in me talking.~x(

    Ranee

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  20. Hey had read your blog before but commenting now bcoz was thinkin how do i thank you 1st for the helping me (or shud i say teaching....tht wud make u my teacher hahaha)with such remarkable patience. Wel all i remember is seeing your younger brother with his uniform going to school.Did you ever go to school? dont remember seeing you ;)

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  21. hahaha.....an exquisite expertise on the currently popular subject.....great amalgamation of humor and pun....Sid stuff as always....

    btw..aapke blog ke updates blogroll mein pata hi chalte...what should i do?

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  22. Hey, sid finally sum1 actually talking in favour of modern schooling.. though thts available 2 just a bunch of Indian population! Though a post with narrow scope, it is a brilliant one. (as no1 askd any1 to cvr all aspcts).
    Loved the flashbacks nd ur humour as well:)

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  23. @Govind
    Thanks..you see its close to my heart...

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  24. @Laxmi
    Thanks...and you are lucky...if only I had so much luck...i was always the genuie pig...

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  25. @Guria
    Read ur post in the morning only...and however I may be used to everytime I receive an award...its *oscar mood* all over again.. :D

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  26. @Ranee
    if only i had paid attention in school i wud know where i was wrong...i simply use phonetic words to write my blog!!!

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  27. @Pankaja
    Actually I do not have any memory and information of me actually going to school...but my parents insist i did...:P

    wondering if i ever did engineering too..:P

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  28. @Rahul
    Blog roll mein isliye nahi ate cos my blog is keeping a low profile...:P
    heh heh heh...meaning I am not publishing frequently like before..this post was auto-posted and was drafted last month on 29th. So maybe it was not updated.

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  29. @Rahul
    Pls comment such that i don't have to hunt for dictionary...i am looking for one since last 2 years!!!

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  30. @Vipul
    if u ask me...the bunch is growing more..that the limit of you calling them a bunch...:D

    I thought i will end it while people are laughing...or they will start trashing me if i post more than i can read..;)

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  31. dictionary??....oh yes....well the comment was written just after reading your post.... so you know..my mind was unusually brainier and faster...

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  32. good one.. some things change and some don't .. may be your maternal uncle would have written similar experiences and your bhanji might write in the same way...

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  33. probably you mistook it.. the teacher must have punished the girl by asking her to slap you :P btw I made my mom read your Kasylum post and she just loved it.. :)

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  34. @Ashwini
    Yeah the girl said so...after the class...her hands where paining.

    And gee,...wow...i am honored.

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  35. Haha. We all have teacher stories. I swap them with my son all the time.

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  36. I still did not understand thought!!!

    @aativas
    Wow...now thats a thought...interesting...

    @Avdi
    I don't have a son yet...:D and not planning for next twenty million years...:P

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Cheers,
Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.