The thing about results is, you know they are going to be bad, you know they are coming today.... yet, on the very day you feel the tension at the last moment as you walk the corridor, just like a bride feels when she walks the aisle or a new upcoming model feels like coming on ramp for the first time. And the worst part is, this feeling comes again and again.
The air around me was tensed. As i walked into the room, I felt panic level increasing exponentially. 'This is it,' I thought when I sat on the bench.
Today was the result of HSC examination. After one year of rummaging through different books, filling pockets of many coaching classes, emptying my dad's bank account by thousand's, I had finally managed to write what I learned in one year on a sixteen page booklet in only three hours.
Today was the result of one year of sleepless nights, fun-less days, television less weeks and more than that hopeless studies. Many questions were still unanswered, and the top most one amongst them was "Why are we supposed to learn all this?" Yet, I had managed to 'read', not 'learned' the things by heart.
My name echoed in the hall before hitting my ears. The situation was more emotional than a son leaves his mother for a long, never returning journey to planet mars to escape from his wife. But there were no camera, no lights, only action. Emotions flooded as I walked towards the dais to carry the paper that was supposed to shape my future. The teacher smiled at me, for a moment wondering if she had seen me somewhere before (Although she was my class teacher, she did not had the fate to meet me in her class.), as she handed my mark sheet and said,
I had expected a disco music behind me, maybe a long distant mandir ki ghanta, or even a lighting strike some distant village in Jhumritayala, but this was no movie. This was a real life and not a reel life. I had received a great score, something I coudn't receive in many years. I wanted to jump with joy, shout loudly, but I did none, I simply smiled and walked outside, like a good boy.
When I entered the tensed environment of my house, I felt like entering the movie Sarkar. And just as Amitabh asks Abhishek in the movie, my dad asked me the same thing, 'Ab?' i.e, now what?
I had expected all my worries and tensions to shoo away as soon as I got this great score, little did I know this was just the beginning. I had to bear four big years of mental torture in an asylum, better known as engineering college.
When I received the Maths book for twelfth class, found it heavier than the Bhagwat Gita, this is the book I am going to read my whole life. Little did I know, this is just one of the book of the complete Trouble Shastra, where this was the ‘smallest’ book I was supposed to read for my entire life and this was also the only year where I will actually get a ‘Year’ to study for three hours. After this, only preparation days reduced, exam length was the same. Damm you, evil spirit.
The next few days passed with lot of activity. Running form college to college collecting forms. Finding out the branches that I wanted to go, and then finding out if they were ready to take me.
Patofying your complete khandan to have one representative in every college in the city so that you can see where your number is. Again using all your management skills to manage the level of stress.
In those seven days I ran so much, that if I had run all that in a stretch, today you would find a big golden trophy on my bedside. Also to mention here is, those were the pre-CET days. Life was a much easier then. If there had been any CET back then, I am pretty sure I would never join engineering, I would have taken some other degree, even Arts, but as they say, 'Troubles comes in bundles,' there was no CET to stop me and I got admission EASILY...yeah bad luck also comes in bundles.
That night, on a burning electric torch powered by nippo batteries, I took a vow , that I will never ever study again. Little did I know, the batteries power was less and I had to study every night after that, ironically using the same electric torch.
Statutory Warning: I am an engineer.