10 signs indicating the end of the world is near.

Its official now, the world will end soon, not in 2012 as the scientist are telling you but on some later generations. Using my intelligent and ossum brain, I have thought, thought and then after thinking a lot, thought some more and came up with 10 rock-solid signs that will shake you right here, right now.


Ideally I wanted to write the signs on a stone, but it was real heavy to carry from people to people, so I decided to use the ever expanding blog medium to write the signs. Also I am not some hair brained witch-doctor who ran out of space to write calender after 2012, stones have limited space.


Now, these signs are to be considered with an asterisk, means there is some text written in smallest font possible on earth which will give you an 'Oh' moment later in life. Please do not run naked on street if you find observe the sign, and no, running naked on street shouting 'Eureka' is not the qualification of a advance mathematician.

The author is not to be held responsible, ransom, blamed for any effect due to the signs. The reader is totally adult and responsible for reading the sign and if you are not, then turn back.
  1. There will be an alarming rise in the reality show
    I observed yesterday  there was a TV channel called 'Real'. I usually avoid switching channels while watching a TV show as I have found it difficult to come back to what I was watching, but yesterday was hunting for the reality show which tells who you were in last life, when I came across this new channel. I am not sure what this channel is, you see I have saas-bahu phobia and now it has transformed itself to reality show phobia, so I avoid new TV channels.
The prophecy states that there will be a time, where every family member will have one participant for every reality show in the world. There will be too much heavy dose for reality that people will crave for virtual shows, even agree to sell their house for a film of Tom and Jerry, this will result in the end.


2.  There will be acute shortage for Maggie noodles.
First there will be a alarming rise in the rate of vegetables and eatables, but that will be ok. People will still bring in the same Government, because they have no other choice and prices will keep on increasing.
           
However this will not result in the end of the world, as people will survive with maggie noodles, but sadly, the company won't be able to cope up with the increasing demand and the world will end of hunger.
           
After half of the world ends, the government takes over noodle factory and bring in a low quality high price noodles killing the rest of the world due to quality poisoning.


3. Lie detector will be perfected and available on the consumer market
As dangerous as it sounds, all wives will be gifted the same on their marriage day. Initially it will be the end of relationship, as men will no longer be able to tell the perfect excuse for the lipstick of the seceratory on their shirt pocket. It will also be used in HR departments of offices and no longer missed the bus excuses will be tolerated. This will increase a new disease then dubbed as Gandhi-giri, a shockwave of telling the truth. The world will not be ready for the truth and it will set the world free...literally.

4.Garfield becomes serious.
The world grew up taking the advice from the worlds most lovable cat. All of the sudden he starts giving advice on management and starts liking Monday. This phenomenon sends a panic wave across the globe and people have no one to tell them to sleep late, hate Monday and trouble John. There is also a aftereffect, that John will manage to get a girl and marry. This will kill Garfied due to shock, followed by death of millions across the globe.


5. All the disease in the world will be cured.
The doctors will find a cure for all the diseases in the world by developing the super vaccination in which is effective for even cancer. The doctors gets a noble price for the achievement, after which they get nothing. Then suddenly the doctors will realize, they no longer have a job as there is nothing left. This will result in the unemployment rate by 95% and there will be horrible slack of jobs. Most of the doctors will end of in an asylum due to lack of victims for vaccination (I hate them) God will not enjoy the sight and will end the world and punish the doctors. (I have even asked God to punish them for injecting me)

 
6. For once, the scientist will predict correctly.
Unfortunately they will predict the end of the world. On insistance of the science community they wish to tell you that there will be no error made in the accidental prediction.


7. They discover aliens
And its true aliens where responsible for the wipe out of dinosaurs. The aliens hold us ransom to handover them the weapons of mass distraction, after many negotiations the Governments of the world hand over them Facebook and Twitter, which ripple effect will cause brain hemorrhage in people across the globe. Finally resulting into end of the world. The last word heard on earth was a soft sound, 'Ha ha' uttered by aliens.


8. Google Maps finally plots the whole world 100%
And suddenly all the people who are not supposed to find are found. All the lost civilizations, the missing chain, Osama Bin Laden, the missing Nixon tapes, the missing secrets everything is found on Google maps.

All of the sudden there is a mad rush for hunting. People go widely crazy about the information and a mad ripple wave starts killing people for the hunt of the lost object.

The easy location of precious objects also drops down the rates on them and suddenly there is a big economic void where no one can fill. The world ends.

9.  Windows will disable cut+copy+paste functionality.
Please don't clutch your chest, I know its shocking news. There will be a alarming killing-wave run through the 1st world countries who apparently run only on cut+copy+paste, the manual typing of data will be outsourced to 3rd world countries who are ready to do the dirty work for cheaper wages, but then the people in 3rd world countries will then die of exhaustion and the world will come to an end.


10. Google will shut down.
Do I hear a 'woah' out there? As hard as it is, Google will shut down resulting in a heavy data loss across the globe. There will be alarming decrease in the productivity in thesoftware world bringing the banking industry on its knees as no automated system can be produced on time. 

Universities will shut down as the education level drops below zero and people do not make it throught college and finally wikipedia shuts down as it gets no traffic (Althought it will shut down even if it gets traffic so its asking for donation, please donate if possible. I do not want it to close, I will be bored in office.)

There, if you feel acute pain in the chest, the feeling is totally mutual. Please pray.

Finally, make sure you bookmark the page and if you are the last person on the earth, please put a comment if the signs were true, then I can show it to God and might get some heat off, you know.

Images courtsey: google images excellent search feature.
Images are used for iconic illustration of the text only, if they violate any of your copywrites, please inform. The image will be duly credited or removed.


35 comments

  1. hehe.. lol..
    and no google and maggi.. haha..then its surely is the end!

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  2. @Pooja
    Totally...hai na??? These are the signs that world will end!!!

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  3. Great imagination. Simply great!

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  4. @Raghu
    Isn't it??? I outrun the Mayan civilization too...:D

    I thought if there is something as stupid as end of the world, I should write it...;)

    Welcome 2 Sidoscope..:D

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  5. They say that humour is something that first makes you laugh and then makes you think. Good one,Siddhesh. :)

    The points about Garfield, aliens and cut-copy-paste did made me laugh. ;))

    I have one suggestion though, before you publish your posts,try running a spell-check. :)
    .
    .
    .
    shilpa

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  6. @Shilpa
    Oops..m checking it now...

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  7. Google will shut down? Did I hear it right? Dude, you scared me! :(
    And no maggi! Life can't be worse than this.

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  8. @Shilpa
    Ok did some correction...does it...does it make you think...wow...:D

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  9. @Siddhesh: of course, it makes you think. Just see how dependant we are on google and wikipedia. ;;)


    hmmm...so you did the correction.:-o I can still see some misspellings though!! let's see if you can find them......

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  10. The end of the world is overrated. I'm sure someday when it's over we'll have a good laugh about it...

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  11. ^O^
    Aap toh kamaal ho sirji!

    No Copy Paste
    No Google
    No Maggi
    Garfield gets serious ......

    hehehe

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  12. @Nesquarx
    Yup dude...anyways... these signs sure will create give a good laugh.

    Welcome 2 Sidoscope.

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  13. @Prathamesh
    Thank you ji... kamal hum nahi...hum Sid hai ji...:P

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  14. @Shilpa
    hmmm... if there is a misspelling, then i need to take english lessons.

    :-/ tell na where...hum toh gavar hai...angrezi nahi ati...

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  15. NO maggi?!!!Did you say no MAGGI!Thats not a world worth living in!Lol,nice list!Good thinking!

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  16. @Miss nobody
    Isn't it??? end of the world!!!

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  17. @Siddhesh : :D see the spelling of Garfield. :P

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  18. :))

    An acute shortage of Maggi... ?!! Oh My God!

    btw... you missed out saying that Dubyaman will turn into a professor of philosophy and take up assignments @ Cambridge-Oxford-Harvard ;)

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  19. The idea of everything coming to an end was scary in itself but you have left no stone unturned to scare me with your fabulous imagination.

    The most scary were life without Google and no cut,copy and paste.

    Keep up the good writing Sid :)

    Cheers!!

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  20. @Roshmi
    Yes see...Roshmi, being a Nostradamous is really easy...;) Good that you also found one prophecy.

    Just write prophecies and let the people worry about them after death...:D

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  21. @Chatterbox
    See its scary world dear...laugh it out..:D

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  22. google gone ...... oh that day i would seriously consider buying that spacecraft :P

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  23. @Naveen
    Er.... :-/ which spacecraft???

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  24. hahhaha..LOL..That was hilarious....I am still laughing....You are awesome....
    I never thought we have such significatn evidence indicating the EOW....Thanks for enlightening us all Sid....
    Yeah and I will remember to comment before I kick it ..:))

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  25. @Dil
    Well.... first off...I know, I am awesome...:D

    You are welcome for that...;)

    I will be waiting for that comment...:P

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  26. no google?!
    i dont know if the world will end but ill surely walk out!
    jaha google, waha mein :P

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  27. Catastrophic! How can this happen!? How can you even imagine such things?! You have thrown me into panic. ~x(

    P.S: If we are to go by point 1, I think 2012 is it. The others however do offer some ray of hope!

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  28. @Orange
    Keep up the spirit...:P

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  29. @Mainak...
    Ray of hope is all dat we need...:P

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  30. Yeh! More grey hairs will result in an even more healthy topline and bottomline... of a lot of Inc(s) and Ltd(s)

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  31. @Roshmi
    I did not understand...means wat???

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  32. dont really care about other things but yes if maggi and google wudn't exist then life surely would not exist. cant imagine my life without these two.. seriously..

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  33. @Chanz
    Totally...gosh we would all die if maggie and google close down...:D

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  34. gosh no google...now THAT is a scary thought! i wouldnt mind if maggie ceased to exist though haha

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  35. @manju
    Now, I already said I am not a mayan doctor...:P see comments above 50% of them agree wid maggiee too...including me...:P

    ReplyDelete

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