All in a days work

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 5; the fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind”
-Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)


The thing about working for some company is that, at the end of the day you are not so sure, if whatever you did the whole day worth it, at all!!!

You know that the job description is not such a big deal of what you have and the satisfaction rate is also not high, but obviously you are mentally programmed to do the same thing (unless of-course you are born with the golden spoon in that case you are not reading this blog) and have nothing else in life to do.

There are some  job description in life which are too ossum to announce proudly, like the ‘Imperial guard to the emperor’ or even ‘The Bus conductor,’ yeah, you heard it right, ‘The bus conductor,’ man, mess with this guy for change and you are never going to reach your designation. Psst. I even had a thought of begging on the traffic signal to get some change for the guy as I was thrown out of two buses consecutively, but then took a taxi. I don't have the job to be as proud as the bus conductor as my job is… ha ha… Please,



At the beginning of Kalyuga, when God was creating homo-sapien v 4.0, he embedded some instinct into the human brain, which are obviously present in some remote part of human brain, but get activated only after one month into the job. Now the scientist around the world are too busy trying to understand weather to buy a new calendar in 2012 or simply tell the world they got a cure for cancer but now we are dying due to other reasons, I decided to take up a job to decode the smallest thought in human mind.

I should tell you, I do not collide two atoms to do the research ok, so there is no chance in creating a black hole if the research fails, the worst that can happen is my bums get burned due to sitting in the chair for 20-25 hours flat or me increased in four to five kilos, but look at the bigger picture, in a three digit figure, some single digits don’t matter isn’t it?

So lets not waste time and let me share the results of my research. If you do find most phenomenon correct, do pass on the word to the real scientist guy so that they can complicate it and then it enters the science text books

1)The physic Killer phenomenon: The phenomenon that somehow comes in your mind whenever your boss is instructing you or there is a performance review. This phenomenon comes almost instantly and almost regularly, but the best part is, this is a peaceful phenomenon which somehow erupts in cafeteria or the coffee machine in front of the wrong guys.

2) The sleep walker phenomenon: This is a weekly instinct like Chitrahar (yeah the old one, I used to enjoy it too)  it comes to you only once a week and usually its Monday, see you are sleeping peacefully in your dreams taking a shower in Niagara Falls (its in Technicolor) and suddenly…oui oui oui…  waters hot, water hot, not the Niagara Falls, the hot shower. As the brain warms up to the conclusion that the water is hot, it ponders on another horrible realization, ‘what the hell am I doing in this shower?’ ta da, the sleep walker phenomenon.

3) The dreamy haze phenomenon: This phenomenon is exactly the opposite for Sleep walker instinct, this can also be dubbed as ‘The Ghajini Phenomenon,’ in this phenomenon your boss is complaining of the incomplete work done, but you definitely have a clear memory of doing it. So you see, in the sleep walker you walk in your sleep, but in dreamy haze you sleep when you work.

4) The hacker syndrome: You will try every trick in the trade to access blocked internet access from the office. That includes the hunting for proxy servers, keeping screens minimized etc etc. you never have downloaded a pirated movie but in your workplace you will hunt for every means possible to break rules.

5) The know-it-all phenomenon(Only boys): You have just had a big scolding from your boss, but you will never fail to give an unnecessary advise to the cute girl sitting in the third cubicle from your seat. You will also help her in your work, even if your work in pending since last five days.

office_cartoons
6) The abala-nari syndrome(Only girls): Now this is a controversial yet, observed syndrome, the not-so-cute guy who is also a genius is sitting there. You ask him for help and he will definitely leave his place and finish your work while his work is going to take another OT tonight, but you  cannot take an OT as you got a date with you BF (hubby).

7) The umpteenth hello phenomenon: This is actually a unavoidable law, it states that, your wife/GF will call you exactly at the time of you in a meeting with the client, now decency dictates you have to answer her, so you inform you in a meeting and will call later. You get busy with the meeting, but apparently she is not convinced. The calls return and in big numbers. The client simply sends a nice memo that you finish your personal problems first and then come to office.


8) The weekly battery power: For some reason I have explored that human brain works in a strange pattern. You are tired to work on Mondays, Tuesday, on Wednesday you feel good about your job, the goodness increases on Thursday and by the time its Friday you are in full spirit to work, but oh ho, can’t help it. The week ends, too bad.

9) The king of the hill for a day phenomenon: You may be earning a little amount of one thousand bucks or a waste amount of ten lakhs pm (congrats!!!) you will have one day in the whole month where you will feel you are the king of the hill. You will feel like you have conquered the world, yes you are right, the salary day. Unfortunately, the feeling last for a day only as soon your spending starts and all the EMI stuff that you purchased is inviting you and money drips out of your pocket.

10) The human alarm system: Your alarm is worthless if you have no snooze button on any working day. Study says 9 out of 10 people press snooze button every morning, while the 10th one does not wake up at the alarm at all. Also one of the primary laws of nature is that, you get sound sleep in the 10 minutes of ringing alarm than what you had in 12 hours of sleeping at night. You snooze alarm at night and decide to sleep, all of the sudden you find that the clock has moved ahead one hour in just 10 minutes. Ouch.. Run, run run.

And btw, my alarm is not 'Wake up Sid' because I am the 10th guy who never wakes up using alarm.

There, all are done, so these are the things I realized while working on a job. You know its so strange that while leaving for home I was so tired in office, but now I spend the next four hours coming up with these crazy theories.
Oh well, that’s all in a days work folks. My job is... please... not good at all, but for what its worth it, I am emailing this post to my boss and wondering if he hires a mercenary to kill me or he actually makes his own hand dirty.



The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

60 comments

  1. First of all I felt lost, when I came here. I felt as if my browser had mad some mistake. Anyways, nice layout.

    about the post:

    Too cool. I like the homo sapiens v4.0. And all the points are having a Sid Signature. So, it has to be super cool.

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  2. Funny post scientist Ravan :-) ; shower in Niagara ? LOL.

    I'm the 1/10 who does not get up to the alarm...

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  3. @Madhu
    we both share the same spirit... bring it on...:D

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  4. Though I agree with most of the syndromes/phenomena and systems, I think you are going to get beatings (probably from me)for writing down The abala-nari syndrome ;-)

    There are few things that should only be felt but never written down :))) Wake up Sid :D

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  5. @Pratamesh
    Hey buddy...thought would speed up things a bit and focus on prioritizing on articles that other crap thousands of blogger widget which I had.

    about the comment on the post:
    Thanks man...for the ossum read. I am lucky 2 make u smile...:D

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  6. @Dil
    How should I address you? Lets stick for Dil as of now,
    Well..that is why I did say its controversial phenomenon, its like the b-grade Indian publicity style...write controversy and u get popular...:D

    Maro mat pls. :D

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  7. I have just read the first two lines! And her I am in the comment section ... *claps* for the first line :))
    Just so true :P

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  8. @Ekam
    Wow... thats....ossum...:D

    so do i get claps for every line too...:D kiddin'

    but Aristotle was so true... and we do observe that in todays world!!

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. @Ekam
    Seriously u got fb in office...:o wow....i dont have one..:(

    that is so true abt the salary day...:D

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  11. Hello! Nicely put! All the syndromes/phenomena et all ;) Good analysis of the human mind I must say! As for the "Abala Naari" thingy, I do agree with you! Chauvinism aside, there are a lot of females(mind you not all though...there are strong souls as well) who know to pull the strings at office...at the same time lets' not forget about MCPs(Male Chauvinistic Pigs..again not all but a majority) who think they are all Einstein! Better to let them be what they are and have a good laugh at their stupidity! Awesome quote by Aristotle! Thanks for sharing it! Good read..shall come back soon to read the rest of the write ups! Cheers!

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  12. @Raksha
    tx for positively reading d post...:D

    exactly... i keep myself at distant nd watch d fun in both cases...:D

    welcome 2 sidoscope,

    Sure, you are always welcome...:D

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  13. we human beings are silly creatures...
    :P
    tats what I can conclude from ur post hehe...
    good logic and good pattern of observation :P
    loved the abla nari syndrome ;)

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  14. @Priya
    really??? :o how come u conclude nething else beyond d fact dat i m crazy...:P

    :D

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  15. Hehe :)) Great post! Funny and light hearted...and informative to some degree! I am definitely one of the 9 people that hits the snooze button...several times! So much so, I've resorted to setting the alarm about 30-40 mins before I actually have to wake up! :p

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  16. @Psych Babbler
    Oh great... :))

    informative, really I think that degree will be really really tiny degree..:D

    I simply dont use alarm...:D

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  17. I badly need the alarm so that I wake up at nine, much later and I won't be served lunch! ;)
    And, yeah, you are crazy too! :D :D

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  18. i hate those bus conductors too!!! they give me that 'from which planet are you' look whenever i offer a ten or 50 rupee note!!! X(

    ahh!!! what would i have done without the wonderfully awesome snooze button!!! ;)

    the phenonmenons you described are pretty much similar in a students life as well :P

    did you actually send this to your boss haaaw?:-O


    :)

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  19. @Guria
    Coming that from the queen of crazy things, I betcha take that a big compliment...:D

    Yay I am certified now... \m/

    U don't get lunch if u don't wake up by 9:00...:o thats strange...:D

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  20. @Neha
    I know i had worst experiences in Mumbai only...

    See meaning be a student or a office person...we have no peace.

    I did send this to my boss, but i know he won't read...:P he ignores my emails. :))

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  21. :)) :)) :))

    Yet another funny post... in your signature style. Keep them coming :)

    'The bus conductor' could even be the next super duper 'Megastar' for all you know. So keep an autograph book handy ;)

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  22. :)...Very nice attempt..)

    hahah...i also do the same with the alarm..:)well highlighted..:) all the best..

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  23. :)...Very nice attempt..)

    hahah...i also do the same with the alarm..:)well highlighted..:) all the best..

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  24. That was damn too cool, Sid. Technically hilarious! (don't ask me what it means) :D
    Talking about the abala nari syndrome, even though a girl has a boy friend, we are not supposed to stop trying, right? That's simply not us. :P
    Well, it was one hell of a fun read. Enjoyed thoroughly.
    All the best! Cheerios! :-)

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  25. @karthik
    :-/ the think i wanted 2 ask u told don't ask...

    dude take a tip from me, a girl never leaves a boyfriend, and if u r there waiting for her to leaver the bf... u r in a friend zone, which means, more rona dhona and less dates.

    Avoid that zone, I don't help anyone unless she is my gf or I am paid to do it...

    guess people in office call me rude, but hey I do work for what I am paid for, anything else and I am claiming OT, free food and a free ride home...:D

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  26. Dude, I have a principle for that; Football principle.
    It says, "What's the fun in scoring goals when there is no goal keeper?!" :D :D :P he he he..
    (Applies only if you love that girl) :D

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  27. haha... Awesome... the ghajini effect is the one that i feel most of all... may be you should add the apneaap phenomenon... in this phenomenon whenever a mistake occurs and the boss comes to scold you somehow the only excuse that comes to you is "apneaap ho gaya boss" (it happened on its own) :)

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  28. @Karthik
    All the best for that...:P

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  29. I had a hearty laugh reading your wonderful post Ravan :)

    Am amongst those who tend to wake up 5 minutes before the alarm rings. Never used the snooze function till date.

    Keep up the scientific research and sharing moments of laughter :D

    Cheers!!

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  30. Wow! A scientific and analytical post for this topic!! Impressive! :)
    Have seen all the phenomenon and syndromes! Very nice observations! A great post indeed! :)

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  31. @Chatterbox
    wat r u..:p human alarm clock...5 min b4 the alarm...:D

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  32. Not all girls play abala nari and not all guys are so helpful.
    Anyways, I agree with few of your theories.
    It was a nice read. :)

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  33. @Shilpa
    Thanks Shilpa for the excellent analysis..;) :D

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  34. I was so impressed by your post, I told it to my friends. Later on when we were discussing about a new character, my friend wrote a post taking both ideas.

    Pramathesh

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  35. @Netra
    Agreed... its not all, but in every office around the globe u find one namoona of both the species...:D

    I never help anyone, unless paid for it...:P

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  36. @Pramathesh
    As flatter as I am from your comment, I got no clue which idea you are talking about!!!

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  37. LOL...
    Loved the theory about the alarm..'m also the 10th person, who never gets up. So much so, I have stopped setting alarms altogether!
    Very hilarious!
    Preeti

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  38. Haha! This is great. Fantastic.

    The weekly battery and the human alarm system, how very true.. :)

    This is the friend @Bamboo-Lounge was talking about.. Ha! I can't believe this had such an uncanny resemblance to what I had written.

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  39. Hahaha! This is cool! Fantastic piece of work.

    The weekly battery and the human alarm bell, I can relate to it so well! :)

    I'm the friend @bamboo-lounge was talking about. I was told about "The umpteenth hello phenomenon", but now I see, you're post is amazing.

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  40. Ha !! Ha!!! What a analysis of Homo Sapiens V4.0 :D ... the Bus Conductor is truly one of proudest tribes in human kind I agree ;) ...

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  41. Hi Sid.

    A very enjoyable read and u had me in knots with the sleep walk....sleep talk stuff. Good luck and I hope I belong to the last lot which encourages you so that you may not forget me. :P

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  42. hey dude very funny post, i thought i had left a comment but turns out i had not, so here i am reading the post again, made me laugh the second time too :)
    neat layout too, all in all a very good post and an equally good blog :)

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  43. Very funny.. I completely relate to all the syndromes!! As a biologist, I affirm they exist!! Great post.

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  44. @Preeti
    Wow u nd me share total similarity. M also the 10th guy.

    Wekcome to sidoscope!!!

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  45. @Refreshing Ocean
    yeah pramatsh informed about the post... u will c mere dere soon...:D

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  46. @Shalini
    Obviously gracious for the encouragement, however I am unable to access your profile to c ur blog...care to share the link???

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  47. @Harsha
    Thanks buddy... people are complaining of the changing colors on my blog, and ur comment actually made it feel better...:D

    Cheers.

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  48. @The west wind,
    so it confirms, a biologist confirms it and dere is my proof...dank u...:D

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  49. hi clicked in through Indiblogger.

    A quick question - The physic Killer phenomenon - did you mean Psychic or Physique ? if not was physic by design?

    well written thought through post.!

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  50. really a nice post..and you know what everytime i enter your blog(most of the times its only during BAT :(..i kno thats really bad) and i find different colors apart from the different posts!! you really cant stay stagnant..hmm..i really like this about this blog..i think u are really a jovial,cheerful and needless to mention humorous person..(well this freedom isnt available for WP.com blogs)...you make the most of your freedom...nice nice..

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  51. I keep alarm at 10AM and get up after snoozing it!! :D
    That has become an habit for me!! I love all ur syndromes!! Only u can think like this!!

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  52. @Gyanban
    hey welcome 2 sidoscope...ook...now i am confused...:D sorry about the typo...

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  53. @Frozewell.
    will let out a secret... i change colors just before BAT...:D

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  54. @Shruti
    And so u came...:P tx ;)

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  55. Good read..

    Could totally relate to 'weekly battery power'.. It's the idea of a weekend of sleeping that keeps me going for the first half of the week.. :D

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  56. lols .... expected nothing less from you ... keep it up

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  57. @Jr
    Welcome 2 Sidoscope buddy...:D

    Yeah...mee too...;)

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  58. @Naveen
    it is always up...;)

    ReplyDelete

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