Of man, woman and the missing link in evolution.

One day The Big Guy woke up from  his sleep all of the sudden and created the beautiful planet. Oh simply marvelous, he said. Then he created a man, a very simple soul with a single mindset. The man started smashing things around and The Big Guy said, ‘This is not my best work’

He though, ‘I need perfection, I need clarity, I need beauty…I need…purity…’
So he sat for thinking for a sec, you see the Big Guy has a big clock so one sec turns out to be a million or billion years in our clock, and he created his brilliant masterpiece, the weapon of mass distraction… a woman, he left her alone in the room and she unstoppably started cleaning it and re-arranging his workplace and he said ‘Opps, this got a little bit out of hand.’evolution
And he ran away, no one has seen Him since. And thus man and woman where left alone in the room, which is always a bad idea if you are not married, and they messed up the whole big plan…and thus the world got screwed up…
Men know what men want, women know what men want, what men want? Men want women… simple, single focused brain. But What woman want? that is the question haunting the human kind since millions of years.
You see, the whole progress of human kind is based on the man’s quest to understand woman to try to get her.
Whatever Darwin may say or whatever they teach you in school, I stopped believing in them since I learned calculus does not help you understand the auto rickshaw-meter, human evolution occurred due to one apes attempt to impress a girl. Both monkeys decided to go on a date, and he wanted to come clean, so he shaved his body hair, puffed his chest and wallah… the missing link… the ape became man. Mentos might have something to do with it, but I do not advertise without money (I accept cheque and credit card)
ist2_8925146-cartoon-campfire The man who invented fire, he did not do it to cook vegetable and animals, no he was happy eating them in cold. When man invented fire, he invented it so that woman can dance around it with him, the oldest tradition, older like fire followed everywhere called campfire.
footer_newton Why do you think Newton was sitting under the tree? He was trying to figure out woman…but then he saw the apple fall, and he said, ‘Hey, that’s easy than woman, its just gravity,’ and gravity was discovered.
When two opposites sex go on a date, woman knows she is going to get lucky… hell, all she has to do is give a sign…Segno… and its done, but man, he has to pray to all thirty three million Gods to make sure he gets lucky.(The reason why God doesn’t answers prayers anymore, its over flooded) why? Woman know man, man doesn’t know woman.
For generations and generations at every level man has just thought 
Now this hunt for woman is misused by some bad men in the world. Like the guys who built ancient temples.
Temple marketing  was outsourced to contractor, build us a temple every body will visit and they build ‘Khajurao’. Fiat spends billions of dollar into installing advance machinery, builds the  vehicle to the last precision, but when it comes to selling it… they woman near the car, like a sign post, look here.
Every advertisement in the world needs a pretty lady holding the products.fiat-linea
Tim Burnett Lee showed the internet in the office canteen, and people said, ‘Yeah a lazy geek who hates carrying documents around, build a computer system to share it, what’s new?’ in next break, someone else said, ‘Hey I got a picture of a female, shall I share it with you?’ Tan da da… Internet burst open…everyone in it.
Ford build car so that he can drive his lady around the city. Wright brothers flew the kite to give girls a life. Google was invented to search information and no need to tell what is being searched the most?
The whole progress of mankind is based on the man’s quest to get woman.
Simple. Single thought.
Woman.
P.s. One man, went beyond limits to understand woman, you should read his quest.
P.p.s. I can put a bet of what comments males are going to post here, I have no clue what the females are going to. (Don’t kill me)

22 comments

  1. Sid..

    Great post..I guess..the day we figure out the answer to the question "What women want??"..we would have figured out..the answer to perhaps the most researched question..of the universe..

    U ask any two different girls this question..and the answers would differ..

    Very entertaining post..

    Would be back to check out the comments from other commentrators..am guessing..its would be fun to read opinion of other fellow bloggers on this post of yours..

    Great work!!
    :D

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  2. oh my god, modified versions haa!
    write a book on your theories ..trust me they're damn entertaining :P

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  3. should i feel good? or should i feel bad? lol i am confused! :P
    anyway seems like most inventions were possible coz of guys hitting on girls :D

    :)

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  4. Budding Anthropologist? or Feminist? :(

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  5. ;)) we are not that much of a mystery. ;)

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  6. @Dev
    You hit the point, I will suggest you should also glance at the adventure of the man who went beyond everything to figure out what a woman are.

    Yup, I am also waiting for the other kind to put ads...;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Orange
    I live to entertain...and yes I will publish a book one day...:D

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Neha
    That is the exact reason... God made woman so complicated that they them self do not know what they know...:P

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Aativas
    Just another humor writer with a new style of humor...:) :D

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Shilpa
    I will talk to your husband about it...:P

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  11. Fantastic Sid :)
    You've done a good job at interpreting what all went to discover and invent big stuffs like fire and gravity.

    I can truly see a scientist super-brain hidden in you ;)

    Loved your wonderful arguments.

    That's very true I myself am not very sure what I exactly want ;)

    Keep up the good work.

    Cheers!!

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  12. @Chatterbox
    Finally a truly honest person commented...:D

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  13. Hey Sid, don't worry.. I'm not gonna kill you. I really liked the post. You brought in a whole new perception about the man and the woman. I just dont get the fact that why in the world would the "GOD" be of male gender. Am I missing something here??

    PS: ME no FEMINIST :P:P:D lol

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  14. @Raji
    First line... I smile...:D sincerely...

    Well God is definitely a he, or the planet would be a much cleaner place to deal with...:P

    He, yes He, has run away, plan and simple...:)

    PS: Me no HUMAN :P :P :D ;)

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  15. Girl says.WOOhOO Hilarious!
    Read the post you linked :P
    Loved your definition of tapasya:P
    LOVE the artwork.Ossum(:P) as always!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Agreed Agreed Agreed...

    But beware, the fairer sex must be searching you desperately after that post! :D

    Good one Sid!

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  17. @Neeraj
    I fear so... thats y i am escaping...:P running for my life...:D

    ReplyDelete
  18. :) interesting. the theory of evolution and innovation has never been so simple to understand...

    thinking aloud...so men would not have any work to do if they understood women...now then, we are keeping you folks busy ain't it!!!

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  19. @Dangy
    Exactly, so if men would have actually understood woman in first place, we would still be living in caves at the mercy of God.

    But no, see... we are living in modern age thanks to the old age quest to understand woman...B-)

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  20. hhmmm...Now what shud I say . silence is the best sign. (doesnt mean I accepted all you wrote here) but it was a post worth smiling!!!!well all woman want is to take charge of her own life!

    ReplyDelete

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