The curse of being a human is that every year you dread that one day, which is supposed to be your most happy day, which will change the complete dynamics of your life and bring you closer towards a stark realization, 'You are not getting younger.'
Every year has a different story to tell, like age one, 'Hey big dudes, I no longer wet my pants.'
Or age three you manage to speak the first letter of vocabulary, 'Mama' making your parents proud.
At age 10 you sneak a peak at the girls in school (ok maybe I started early, but generally its there), you fight with them.
The next year you wear full pant in school and finally the feeling of getting exposed reduces.
Then comes the era of co-ed school, the attraction, the confusion and the mas-- which brings you to your teen age. The age of pimples, parties and pants, yup those worn out torn out pants, to the dismay of your mother who constantly reminds you that we are not beggars, but you try to convince its the in thing now.
Teen usually ends by 18 or by twenties and you come to the happening generation. You see, India gives you married license after 21 but the fact that you might be available for marriage takes three years to digest, which brings us to 24.
Now the only good thing about 24 is that it is not 25, twenty five when the standing male life starts disintegrating. Where your parents want to see you get married and when every girl you have known from your class, is either married, pregnant or engaged or lesbian (in short, if you did not choose soon, you are done for life, then marry the Savatri your parent chooses, always a bad idea)
Actually speaking 24 actually does not do anything, it tells you worst is coming soon. Like you are standing naked in the middle of the desert and suddenly hear a stampede or a cloud of dust at the horizon. Your whole life ends, the moment you see that dust, now there is a likely chance that the stampede is not going to hit you...but you know the creepy feeling?
The first worst thing hitting on your doorstep is the marriage invitation. And so does the plague starts, your first crush, your best friend, that girl in the class you were sure is eyeing you, they politely send a wedding invitation to your inbox inviting you to come. The wedding invitation just sits there like a time bomb ticking away...tick tick tick. Now its not that I do want to have those girls, no, but you its just like a girl less for me to marry, choice reduces. Like you are losing the race.
If the ticking bomb in email is not enough, there are rocket launcher pointing at you, your girl-friend asks you the five dreaded words in the dictionary of relationships, 'Where-is-this-relationship-going?' No, no, she doesn't want marriage, which I learned after a hard lesson of avoiding her for three days, nope, she wants commitment. A time period when will be best for us to marry, will it be next year? two years later? three years later or Dude, I am starting to lose by patience, my father already found my soul mate. Which is actually an challenge, own up or lose me.
Your mother gives a emotionally blackmailing lecture on how dad has only few years for retirement but still works hard for the house and how I am not yet responsible.
How 'other' kids (the same one who ruined my childhood by scoring 99% in exams, 99% gawd, what are you? Book eaters? or lunatics? Dude who takes exams seriously? What did you do your whole life, study?) are now well settled and how I still do not clean my room.
Little toddlers around your building shout at you, 'Uncle, ball do na,' as depressing, boring and highly middle aged the ring of uncle sound, you suddenly realize that people who played with you now have babies, so they become mommy and daddy and you become uncle. Which sucks btw.
Now these dreaded things happening around I realized one more biggest torture moment, the digestive system grows up and then you have to eat properly. No more gulping beer with a complete chicken. Nope. You do have the same old passion to eat but after like half chicken the stomach replies, 'No more.' Dude? hello? We were best budies for life? Bhool gaya sholay ki dosti? (as in did you forget the friendship, can't explain Sholay in English, see the film.)
You watching Ben ten lying on the couch, eating a packet of potato chips, which was earlier considered just lazy, becomes immature, irresponsible, horrible and disgusting, increase in the adjectives for the same activity you are doing for past fifteen years.
Soon a creeping sensation comes into your mind which forms a though in your brain, where the hell is your life headed?
Ok, seriously as horrible as this question sounds, the answer hits you with a even more horrible realization, life is headed to age 25. Gosh, halfway there.
As Murphy's law states, anything that can go wrong will always go wrong and here I am, I am 24.