Skip to main content

[Short Funny Story] A ‘Manhood’ tale




Before Chirag Raghuvans Rai Bahadur Patil was born, Raghuvans Rai Bahadur Patil was in a big dilemma. As the oldest and the noblest family in the village of hoshiyaarpur, he had chosen a wife in the best possible time of all the possible wanna be Mrs. Patil’s to give him a boy. He fed her all sorts of churans, medicines before the honeymoon so that she would give him a son.

Still fearing she will give birth to a girl. Raghuvans Rai Bahadur Patil went to the tallest mountain on the highest peak of the planet. He started Tapasya (sitting idle for a long long time, so that finally God has to come and wake you up)

He stood there for thousand days and thousand nights (actually his watch was broken so like in the mountain there was no cuckoo clock, so we cannot be sure how many days he was there.)
Finally God was very pleased with the man and appeared before him.

‘God, I have all the riches in the world, I have all the happiness in the world, but I want a son, I want some heir to the Rai Bahadur Patil tradition.’
‘Don’t you know a girl or a boy have equal weight in the whole world. How do you reject a girl child and ask God to send you a boy? All my creations have equal value, how can you choose one over another?’
‘God,’ said the man, ‘Finally, a boy is a boy and a girl is a girl. A boy will be manly like me, will support me  in my old age, he will carry the name of my family ahead for many years to come. He will rule the village in his manly sense…’.

…and the man continued praising the boy.

Finally getting bored, God yawned and said, ‘You want a boy? And you will get a boy…’
Raghuvans Rai Bahadur Patil puffed as his chest on outwitting God and started descending, unknowing to him, God smirked.

Patil finally got his wish fulfilled and he got a baby boy, and very proudly he named him Chirag.

Chirag grew up in loving care of Patil household, every woman in the Patil family took the boys care. As the only boy born after so many attempts, he was given extra attention. The father made him an engineer and send him abroad for higher studies. His khandan ka Chirag was studying in the states for last five years.
God peeped down from his cloud to watch them.

female-foeticide-1_thumb Chirag was coming back to India and Patil send a Banjo Party at the airport to receive his son. A large garland of 5 crores 20 lakhs (on insistence on our lawyers, we hereby announce that it was 20 lakhs only) was prepared to felicitate the Chirag. That day even the US convoy was coming to visit India and they felt like ordinary people seeing the preparation for the Khandan ka Chirag.
Raghuvans Rai Bahadur Patil stood at the Limo waiting for his son to step out of the airplane. All the passengers stepped out, but not his son. Patil was worried and started looking here and there. Finally as all the efforts to search for his son ended, a woman approached the man,

‘Father,’ she said.
‘Get away from me,’ Patil growled, ‘Who are you?’
‘Father its me,’ the girl said, ‘Chirag, your Chirag.’
‘Chirag,’ the father glanced at her chest…the girl folded her hands, he realized the mistake, and glanced up, ‘Is that really you?’
‘Yes dad, its me. You know since childhood I was different, I did not know what was wrong with me. I felt like I was a woman trapped in a boys body. When I went abroad, I realized there are many people like me. I contacted different psychiatrist to see if what I felt was right, and they agreed with me,’ she explained.
Each word hit Patil’s ear like a hammer on rock.
‘Finally I met this doctor who dealt with Sex change operation and I went there. After the operation I felt complete, I felt true,’ she explained.
‘You mean…’ Patil legs started weakening, ‘You mean…’
‘Aren’t you happy dad? Finally I am what I am?’ she smiled and she scooped out a man from the crowd, ‘And I want you to meet my soul mate, Raul, I met in the states. We both are made for each other.’
‘You mean…’ Patil collapsed on the ground flat on his back.
High above him clouds changed shaped and turned, ‘LOL’

Moral of the story: Female foeticide is as bad as sand in your swimsuit. Stop it or God is watching you.

Comments

  1. Heeeeheeee this is a wonderful God's scheme of things :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. A very good message hidden in a story with a humorous undertone.Just like your style Sid! :))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Funny... Message with a punch.

    But haven't you posted this before?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thats a great story.

    Loved it. Every bit.

    Now see this:

    "Female foeticide is as bad as sand in your swimsuit. Stop it or God is watching you."-Ravan :))

    Ravan invoking God.
    Turning Ramayana Upside down.Inside Out.Lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fantastic work Sid :D
    Loved the way you conveyed the moral of the story :)

    Cheers!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. LAAAAVLY,man LAAAAVLY!!!hehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  7. lolz... funny story.. but i loved the message. female foeticided is rampant even today even though it is considered a crime. I, alond with a friend of mine had done a rangoli during our college day competitions regarding the same thing. I'm posting the link here. Do have a look...

    http://chandana-shekar.blogspot.com/2009/08/rangoli-we-did-at-our-college-fest.html

    By the way, my first time here, and i enjoyed readin :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Story with the perfect blend of fun and apt message...
    thumbs up!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Sammy
    Humor is the warm fire that is needed to propagate burning topic...:D

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Saurabh
    Last time wen i published it...it was a bit sad tale, no humor punch....i felt bad reading it so changed...rather tweaked the mood a little...:D

    ReplyDelete
  11. @IP
    Yeh kalyuga hai buddy....now since Godmen starting ravanizing with people, it was time ravan became godman...;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Dr. Chandana
    Hey saw your blog its excellent.

    :) you received my views on your rangoli.

    Welcome to Sidoscope.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @Geetha
    :D thank you very very very much...:D

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey you finally wrote it! well narrated...

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is the most awesomest post of all the stories I've ever read!! Bwahahaha hilarious...I mean how the hell did you get such a creative idea? MAN, Im ur fan now on...

    ReplyDelete
  16. @neha
    Yesh finally published it...:D

    ReplyDelete
  17. @Vibhuti
    Basich....jeevan ka sarthak ho gaya...the Godess of short stories has become a fan wowiee!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. @The Survivor
    Welcome to sidoscope dude....thank you...:D

    ReplyDelete
  19. Haha! Nice story with a dash of humour and the sarcasm came through quite well too :)

    P.S. Congrats on the 'Spicy Saturday pick'! Well deserved...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you think about the post? Have your say, like, dislike or even hate me. Tell me.

You might also want to Subscribe to RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter (@sidoscope) or on facebook

I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Popular posts from this blog

The moaning of life #2 Childhood Trauma

The entire shark family is out for a hunt, and the little fish are running for their life. We get to cheer as the Baby Shark does Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo with his family, calling on the family - extended family and sometimes robots on the 'hunt' because your offspring decides that that is the one song they want you to play or a tantrum follows. Many of you will say it's not the content but the catchy tune that draws the babies towards the nonsequential song, but it's more than that. It's the sheer repeatedness that draws your angst towards the piece. And YouTube provides the music based on how much time you want your baby to be engaged to it. You have a 60+ minute version and a 120+ minute version. The same shark family going out on the same hunt. And it's not just the Shark family. Weirdly, baby JJ and his family sing random songs, go on a holiday and even increase the family. I am talking about Cocomelon, which has arrived in your child's life as he murmurs t

We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls.

The human evolution is a constant race against boredom, men have for generations tried to overcome boredom is many ways possible. In olden days, they got bored, they build civilizations, big massive civilizations. The ancient Egyptians had pyramids, the Babylon build the hanging garden for people to hang out. People from far and wide come to visit the Taj Mahal, praising its divine beauty, not knowing that it was build after the wife died, thus partly in guilt. Rome was not build in a day, indication they were super bored. Then came the great barbarian evolution and they started raiding cities. Don't forget Atila the Hun who constantly attacked cities whenever he got free time. Alexander was super bored and he decided to conquer the entire world, but while these men where attacking cities and building civilizations, the women where thrown into a abyss of impending boredom. What would Mrs. Atila do when her husband was busy attacking Rome? Or What would the wives of the

Short Story: Ginger Chai

This is my first attempt for writing a love story, which I am really bad at. Mani Padma (from Ginger Chai ) challenged me to write a love story a few days ago, it is not a real great read, but a little feeble attempt to take a taste in this genre. Please give your honest opinion… Cheers, Sid. *fingers crossed* Breathe in. Breathe out. Damm, this is so easy when you are not tensed. Why is this clerk talking so much time. ‘Will you hurry up?’ I asked the clerk. My finger nails were tapping the counter in excitement. My name is Shailaja, 30, single and employed, in short a perfect girl for the aunties, mammies to constantly remind me that my days are waning out, that I have to find someone before it is impossible for them to. It is not that I don’t want to get married, but I should get some proper match, isn’t it? All they show me is either short, tall, long nose, meaning some imperfection in some way or the other. I am not at all hopeless romantic and I am definitely not goin