Why men should actually get 33% reservation

To provide equality to woman in all walks of the life, we give them 33% reservation everywhere.... genius. On a closer inspection, it has come to our notice that actually men should get 33%.... ok stop staring.... 20%....err..atleast 5% reservation in many things, listed below..

When I got a mis-cal at five of clock in the morning, I feared it was the miser alter-ego of me who wanted to give some information, so like I called me up, exactly at 5 o'clock and informed me that I should tell the world why men should get reservation (note to self: Stop watching Hindi movies while thinking)

Men demand equality, in all walks of life.... 33% more equality than woman.

1. Reservation on television remote control from evening 7:30 to 11:00

This rule will apply also during IPL matches and any cricket match for that matter. Also showing 2 balls per over does not mean we have seen enough and you get back to see the terrible torture of human beings (read: SaaS bahu / Reality shows or even Rahul ka Swayamvar)

2. Reservation on laptop / internet/ facebook, specially for those whose GF/wives/fiances are addicted to Farmville

Men demand it. They need equal rights, when the food is served hot and when we all need to lie down, it is not lying down that you are still busy farming on your farm.

My friends wife one day announced, let me harvest tomatoes quickly, I will serve food.

3. Men demand reservation to choose shops while shopping for clothes

Ok, first we need to know why you need more than one shop for shopping of one clothes? Why do you need clothes with so many criteria? Why do you need to shop after every three weeks?

And no, we do not understand a lot about clothes, because our requirements are fulfilled in three things Shirt, T-Shirt and Pants.

4. Reservation in judging the cleanliness of the room.

Do you realize that the reason why our books are lying around are because we want them to lie around?

We should get a say in where the things actually belong, so the towel on the cushion is ok.

The room is looking fine, ask Garfield.

5. Reservation in choosing the early breakfast food.

We totally and completely agree with Dr. Phyll that drinking karela juice early in the morning is good for health...but it is definitely not good for mental sanity of the person, nor will it be good for our relationship.

Also, we would like to have onion parathas in the morning with fresh butter on it. Ok, fat-free butter.

6. Reservation in deciding which movie to go.

Righto, see there are many good, great movies screened in multiplexes. Please don't drag us to the movies of the chocolate hero. No, we also do not wish to see Twilight, again. we know you prayed last night, I become a vampire.

7. Reservation in choosing the beauty products you buy on my credit card.

Seriously if your anti-ageing cream worked it would get you back to puberty by now. Why do we need 5 different bottles of hair shampoo in the bathroom and what the green Gobar in the dish kept in bathroom? Why is my hair itching?

8. Reservation in getting seat on the bus.

Ok, this is a debatable issue, but we want at-least 33% reservation on the 33% seats available for woman, you see, we travel in hot dhoop to get front row seat only to get up two stops down for you. We need reservation.

9. Reservation in deciding the limit of drinking beer.

It is really ok for me to drink more than a peg and drive. I am not a drunkard, but I should decide when it is ok for me to stop drinking...err...ok... I should probably stop talking now.

10. Reservation to comment on Sidoscope

As the fighter and protector on mans right, I hereby declare 33% reservation for men on comments herewith. Go on use the comment box without any fear of the lady coming and making you stand. :P

Statutory Warning: On insistent of my lawyer, I hereby declare that I hold no responsibility for any stomach pains, throat pains or if you fall of your chair while reading this or any article on Sidoscope. Plus if you mail me the picture of you falling off, I will make you a celebrity.

I hold no affiliation with any political party.

I hold no affiliation with any God. Sacchi.

And I do not accept bribes, but donation chalega. Love letters written behind the blank signed cheques are accepted.

[Update: Chandni has a brilliant follow up post in reply to this, do check it out here.]