How many days does it take for a broken heart to get healed?

Do you know someone who is depressed by a recent breakup? Are you feeling that there is no hope in the world left? Well, I suggest think again, there is nothing wrong in feeling depressed on having a breakup and the world is definitely ending yet. My friend definitely things so as he moves on to a better life from a very horrible breakup.


Apparently this question remained hanging in the air as my friend kept acting weirdly over a girl who had recently dumped him. I have listened to many people(both female and male) as they talk about their past, relationships and the gloomy lives they lead after their close friends leave them away. Now this problems are more faced by a girls, because the moment a girl goes on a first date and it is successful, she immediately become fiercely loyal and emotionally to the man of her love and expects the same from the guy.

It is biologically impossible for any guy to love anyone unconditionally, yes it is true, sometimes money motivates, sometimes physical parts of the girl, sometimes even the emotional support received from the girl in adverse time can reinforce his relationship with her, unfortunately it does not come with a lifetime warranty card, as there is no emotional attachment to it, many times guys feel less pain during a breakup.

Anyways coming back to the friend, I noticed some common traits between people who fall in love and people who fall out of love, but unfortunately in both the cases you fall and you fall hard and have rough surface to break your fall.

1) You think about the same person day and night.
Yeah, girls will admit it, guys will be in denial, but in secret they will be thinking of the girl. I know a person who wrote a four pages long poem when he fell in love with a girl, the same person wrote a six pages long poem the night she dumped him.

2) Your friends find it impossible to be with you.
In love, your better half is always there with you, making others feel jealous or totally bored. Seriously, why would we want to know if you call her snuggy buggy boo in the middle of a restaurant? During breakup, you tend to make every laughing moment a sad, depressed story of your breakup. In my case, the friend horribly read the whole six pages poem to me during the miserable coffee break, I decided to take with him.

3) You take too many baths or at least wash your face too many times (lazy people)
When you are in love, you try to clean yourself up to make yourself presentable or lazy people will wash their face too much. Guys get the clean shave look, girls do threading, manicure, pedicure all to please your better half. When you break up, you clean your face to wipe the traces of sore eyes, some people take complete bath as half the day is spend crying.

4) You tend to consume too much food.
In love you have no place to sit and talk, so you sit in CCD’s, Barista’s (if you have money) or Road-Side coffee shop, Tauji ka katta and order some unnecessary items to waste the little money earned by you. In breakup, you eat to fulfill the void somewhere created in you. Well trust me people, a breakup cafe will make more business than normal one.

5) Your telephone bill reaches heights never achieved before.
In love you have only one number to call, the one, where you talk for hours and hours and hours. After breakup you have many numbers to call, some of them are possible options, some of them are shoulders to cry on.


A breakup can be a mutual separation, a legal separation (divorce), you get dumped or you dump someone. We all are ruled by emotions and even if you dated a jerk/bitch who planned to dump you anyways, there are always emotional drained in both of them as they part ways. As a person is emotionally drained life may seem a bit gloomy, dark, hopeless. Me and my friends tried to cheer him up and bring him back from the dead, we tried the following things which you can use if you are or know someone who is depressed.

1) Go on a vacation
Every one needs a change, yes, change is inevitable. If you are having a splat with your husband, wife or your partner and you people are on a verge of breakup, I heavily suggest go for a vacation, alone maybe only for a weekend. Get the change, feel the change, during those days of vacation, enjoy, life your life for two days without any pressure, without any tension.
Those who do not earn yet and have no money to spend, go knock your friends/ relatives door, I will suggest don’t go to the khadus grand mom who will quiz you ten thousand times for the jeans you wore, but go to the cool relative who will keep you entertained. Like a distant cousin who is ossum or a uncle who rocks. They need not know your sad story, just go and be normal for once. Those who are not yet split, sometimes find a ray of home in change.

2) Treat Yourself
Who doesn’t need a well deserved treat? Well, I certainly do and so do you. Go for the crazy makeover you were looking for, guys go flirt with the hot chick you eyed so long. Don’t sit gloomy alone in the dark room, remember the sun shines brightly everyday, clouds can make dark temporarily but no one can blow out the sun. Go for that well-deserved break-shopping (recommended for girls), guys take out your sister for shopping or the cute chick from office. The point here is to do something that is healthy and engaging for your mind. Sometimes people put so much energy into their relationships that they rarely make time for themselves. The fragile time after a break up is the perfect opportunity to do just that.

3) Change your boring routine
Knowingly or unknowingly in a relationship you have come up a decent routine with your partner in between. When you break up, your ego is damaged and you lose your sense of control, well, now is the time to regain control of your routine, change it. Don’t go for 9 to 5 job, engross yourself in other activities, regain your sense of control.

4) Talk about how you’re feeling
Go call up those friends who have been partying with you so far, go talk to them. A good healthy talk is worth thousand therapies and it is ten times better to talk to your friend than pay a therapist (don’t hate me if you are a therapist, its nothing personal :P), if you are comfortable with your parents and are sure they will hear you out, talk to them. There is nothing bad in telling others how you are feeling, even if you are a guy, go on explore your feminine side this time.

5) Remember you have a future and population is much more than we can handle.
Keep on reminding yourself that, you have a very bright future, nature has shown that the sun rises brightly after every night, the cycle of life continues and hey so what if you lost one, the fact that you lost one indicates that there is someone out there waiting for you. So cheer up, life has its ups and downs, so what we have our downs, we do laugh at them during our ups, don’t we?

These things did help my friend a lot and I am happy to say he came back from the dead after a month, fell in love again and is now well settled with a girl (ten times better than his girlfriend, I must say) who cooks delicious dosa’s, (I am munching on them, as she was generous to send me a batch in Tiffin) .

A last point I would like to tell those broken hearts, I was also one of you and so was my friend, trust me, it is sometimes better to let go and move on, life is much more beautiful ahead.

There are few things I learned from this episode,
1) Boys also cry and get depressed
2) Never take a coffee break with a heart broken horrible poet
3) When nothing else works, the greatest and the best remedy to heal a broken heart is…time.

Picture courtesy: The ossum don't panic picture from the ossumest movie of all time, 'Hitchhikers guide to galaxy'

32 comments

  1. Very true :). I have only been through friendship breaks up... those itself cause a havoc so i can imagine about relationship breakups.

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  2. Shit happens. So does breakups in many cases. Its part of the God's reality show called "Who is your partner?", so if you fail in one relation, its not the end of the road. Haven't we learnt a lesson yet from thr good ole story "this grapes is sour?" ;)

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  3. Cool. Interesting insights. Your humourous touch is always present even in your 'advising' posts :)

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  4. This was sincere and advising post...We all know these things but we need to be reminded time and again...Kudos for this post.
    A totally different shade of your writing......

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  5. You see the intensity of the break up is directly proportional to the number of people who know about it.
    so every time you forget and want to move on..there s someone else who pops in and says..so..what happened?

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  6. Oh! It's bad! The break-up I mean. Liked the way you presented the traits... especially no. 3 & 4!! :D

    Hope your friend finds happiness again, soon and follows the 5 tips you have shared here!
    Cheers :)

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  7. Ah nice article there Sid.I'm sure people who have had a break-up would find this useful.

    the friend horribly read the whole six pages poem to me during the miserable coffee break
    Poor you!LOL.

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  8. OMG.. sid writing on a seious topic... I mean a real serious one...

    my eyes open wide, in disbelief ofcourse

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  9. Some cool tips there :)
    Your humor made a serious issue quite an easy read :D :D

    Cheers!!

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  10. this is only half of the story sid! wheres the girls point of view?

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  11. i found it funny, in spite of very good advice..
    hope your friend's fine.

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  12. That was very useful tips.... yeah one has to get over the past and move on.... I read somewhere "past and future are only in mind ... its only the present that's in your hands don't waste it" ...

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  13. @harini
    break up is made, friendship or love...where humans part ways, there is some troubled waters and emotional drains.

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  14. @Rajan
    So true, unfortunately 90% of people do not understand this simple funda of life and spoil their whole life into it....:)

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  15. @Aditya
    The world has too much trouble to bear, a little humor in sad things makes a lot of difference ain't it??? ;)

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  16. @Geeta
    thanks for encouragement, yes we need to remind us about this again and again....:D

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  17. @Gyaanbaan
    Right said, but there is nothing wrong in it...infact if you truly move on no questions can bother you...:D

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  18. @Shilpa
    Yes breakup is real bad and my friend is doing real good now...really..:)

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  19. @Sammy,
    Care to share??? Pass on the word...:D

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  20. @Chandz
    keep them wide and wide awake for many more coming soon....:D

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  21. @Chatterbox
    that was my intension, glad you enjoyed.

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  22. @Mani
    There is no girls point of view in anything....:) its simply emotions....:D

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  23. @Pooja
    The friend is excellent....more than fine infact...:D

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  24. @dhiman
    greats words there my friend....:D

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  25. you made the serious topic look funny :)
    Nice :)

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  26. the similariteis i nboth cases...awesome observation.. I really wish tht ppl dont hv to suffer from breakups at all..... Even if they do,May they hv the strength to face them n get bk to normal.. :) :)

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  27. totally loved this post! and i absolutely agree with this line: 'the moment a girl goes on a first date and it is successful, she immediately become fiercely loyal and emotionally to the man of her love and expects the same from the guy.' - so true!
    p.s. i also love the design of your site! coded it yourself?

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  28. @Megha
    life is funny if you look at it that way....:D keep smilin..

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  29. @Urvashi
    It all takes an effort...every person can come back to normal from a breakup....:D

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  30. @Mehak
    the line was added from self observation....:D

    and yes... i did tweak the design from many other designs...o_O

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  31. This was a very nice article sid :) Wonder how come I missed this post of yours. A very useful one especially for people like me who are having a hard time :)

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  32. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS go for a 60 day no contact thing. That works. Trust.

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