The female iBrain ver 1: The Mercedes, Mansion and Market

Since the initial release of the first language in the world, the male iBrain has not yet learned to switch between topics. When men speak, they can talk about the science, the arts, the usual crap of what they saw in sixty minutes on television but only one topic at one time. So if we are on the phone, we request to turn the volume down.

Female iBrain realization

While a female iBrain can switch between topics faster than it takes for trains in Bengal to switch tracks. They can talk about how the neighbour Joshi has lost two kgs of weight (in precise grams, if asked), how Kareena Kapoor has a new hairstlye, what should Obama do to prevent oil leak, how Paul should not retire, what it will take for her husband to change, how the world is in a mess, what is Tulsi's fourth husband doing with his fifth wife, what ingredient should Mrs. Sharma put into the pudding to make it tasty, what will happen to Ba in the next 200th episode, how the idli she cooked turned into a horrible, sluggish, drinkable rice item, blah, blah, blah in one single breath. (here I have just touched the tip of ice berg)

A female iBrain can process can lots of information in a very less time, like a massive processor which churns billions of data in a fraction of a second and that data is not just processed but also stored for future relaying. I know a lady who listens to music, while writing a article turning on the Tee Vee and chats with me, all in the same span of fifteen minutes.

Some female iBrains also have the capacity to act like a radio station. This a inbuilt feature called iAir.

Lets take a look at a example who has iAir inside the iBrain: She wakes up early in the morning while the whole house is sleeping and then mops the house, while singing to iMusic.
The songs are old classic and they continue till the whole house wakes up.

When her husband wakes up, she has the program of 'iAgonyAunt', the age old complaint show, of the milkman, the kids to the dhobi.

This show is followed by the iNews which she shares with her friends in the society.

After the vishesh samachar, we have the same audience listen to the iReviews of the stories of latest tele-serials back to back. The whole day is spend in different programs of cookery show, some events which they attend, some part of the day is spend in helping children study etc etc. Finally in the evening, there is a repeat telecast of the iNews to her hsuband. And so on...

The power of female iBrain is much, that the amount of information (useless) it processes per second, the male iBrain loses 60% of the data while receiving to it.

My friend's girlfriend always complained that he doesn't listen to her. After many tiresome attempts of paying attention, he gave up. Finally when nothing worked, he came to me asking for help.

We live in modern world and even thought we do have updates for iBrain we do have some other sophisticated gadgets demonstrated by James Bond which can help in making our life easier.

I suggested he take a tape recorder concealed under his cap. Genius plan no? But unfortunately, his tape recorded was caught by a security guard of the hotel, and try what he may, my friend could not explain its purpose and they trashed him as a suspected terrorist.

Now, there are benefits as well in losing the data while transmitting, I know a gentleman (you need to use this word for the dammest of the person ) who dials his wife and keep the phone on his desk. While the information is being relayed, quietly plays hangman on the computer and in the middle keeps on responding, 'Ok' 'Acha', 'Oh'

The timing is perfect, his wife does not know about this trick.... yet.

The female iBrain may not be able to solve maths problem (I am talking in general, not science graduates) but it can process the exact discount they will receive on the thing if they buy it in the next 24 hours.

True Story.

P.s. Coming soon, the Male iBrain ver 2 The Girls, Gizmos and Gears

7 comments

  1. Haha The power of women! Its the world of women, my boy! ;)

    How are you mate?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hehe... good one!
    I feel all the more powerful after reading this ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha I can't help but agree with you. But you do realize there are also a few women who rarely talk and can never indulge in casual chit-chat. :P There are exceptions everywhere.
    Btw awesome graphic at the beginnning. Is it self-made?

    P.S: I see vulgar dating ads(with busty women) in your sidebar.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hahha i like aditya comment..Its the world of women, my boy:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lolzz...i liked the illustration of the female ibrain.

    ReplyDelete

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