Some people are alive because it is illegal to shoot them!!!

When you live in the land of kamasutra, it is really hard to maintain the expectations of your ancestors, the people, who had 5 wives and 15 kids and lived till the age of 100 without a single weak bone, resolved all the domestic problems with sword fights. But then as it happens, we progressed and apart from slavery, misery and the torture, the white guys brought to this most ossum country in the world.... democracy, which gave the people a shield, a transparent shield to cause as much mayhem and irritation, and get away with it.



There are some people, I encounter in my daily life, who I get the uttermost feeling of killing. There are those, who can't keep their things in their pants and are more concerned of things in my pants.

'Hey, how much do you earn?' he asked.
'Excuse me?'
'Your salary boss, package.'
'Dude, its really rude asking someones salary'
'C'mon man, its me'
'How does it matter who are you, its clearly rude.'
'You see, mister, you may be as professional as you can get, but remember I still have friends'
Holy Shit, Where did that come from?

Then there are those, specially in the office, who come out of nowhere bend down on my table and peep in my computer and say,
'Whatcha doing?'
Hello, you can ask that from a safe distance, too, where you can't infect me with your germs also.

There are some type of people who carry their Gods in their pocket, just next to their Androids. They not only carry the Gods with them, but shove it in your face every-time they feel like it.
As it happens, I was busy eating chicken in canteen, (no offense to Vegans, vegetarians or PETA activists)  but I do relish non-veg.
'Dude its Shravan(the holy month in Hindu religion where you eat only veg food),' she.
'Its Ok, tell this to Julia Roberts, I am not a practicing Hindu,' I quietly resuming my food.
'Its so bad to eat mutless animals who cannot defend themself. you will go to hell,' She.
Now, I keep on meeting these people everywhere in my life, so I have found a counter agreement for that, using the basic principle of human-problem solving, 'If you can't convince them, confuse them'

'Listen to me sweetheart,' I start, gearing up for my argument, 'I am here eating an animal, who was capable of running, harming or killing me, which he failed in doing so, because of the primary rule of the universe, the survival of the fittest. In doing so the cycle of life continues. You on the other hand have created an artificial life form by calling it farming, you are defying the natures fundamental principle by entering the artificial life form and thus harming the Gods order of the thing. You have also killed an living being which was not capable of defending itself, moving from the ground and also unable to resist your approaches. Now, tell me, who will go to hell?'

The girl never bothered me again and I ate my chicken in peace. Hell bent.

Human process is a every evolving battle between the human race and the universe ability to produce idiots. So far, Universe is winning. When they say, it all started with the big bang, are they actually point to the reason why so many people suck?

The thing about life is, the things that shouldn't suck, do and the things that should suck, don't.

7 comments

  1. Am standing and clapping for ur veggiest non veggie answer which i support with conviction and conscience ...
    I just relished this post....ummmm....

    had written an article on this topic long back...

    Whatever, non veg is non veg yaar....ummmmmm.... dum ki chicken biryani

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ossumly written Sid. And yes the people mentioned in this article are like a breed of locusts( pests in other words). Nothing is more annoying than having to be in their company and also to stop oneself from being too rude to them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. :D :D :D

    Another of your signature posts! Keep them coming...

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Now, I keep on meeting these people everywhere in my life, so I have found a counter agreement for that, using the basic principle of human-problem solving, 'If you can't convince them, confuse them'"

    been there done that ... its the most successful way to avoid such ppl

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hopped in your blog after really!
    not disappointed at all! :D
    humor is upbeat
    and so is the topic...

    #LIKE

    ReplyDelete
  6. Applause! Boss, I salute you. Loved your responses. BTW copyright the last line or I may steal it :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. Some people do have very lonnng Noses which poke in other people's business a lot. :P
    In recent events, the stalking girl needs to be shot. Made my life hell for a week and am really thankful to the blocking features. Amen! :P

    ReplyDelete

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I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

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