If you carry a phone smarter than you, maybe it will compensate for your loss.

Human mind is highly capable of processing large amount of crap, empty mind becomes a devils workshop and a complete mind becomes a devils playground. I am not sure if its because of Kalyug or simply because stupidity is increasing, Smart Phone users are increasing. People who wear suits, half pants, greesy oily hair carry blackberries phones and do chat, do mail on the move, I only do the dew.

If human beings are given a lot of time, they end up doing crazy things. The last time I heard, someone was sitting doing nothing and lo, he discovered fire. Newton was sitting idle under the tree and Lo, he wrote the laws of gravity and ruined the future generations of science students who hoped to aspire for engineering degree.

With so much machines around us, its high-time they build us another machine to keep a track of all the machines we have. There is a machine for everything, want a toast, hey try a toaster. Want to contact your friend sitting billions of miles away, try the feletone...sorry...telephone. Now party for all this wired mess in the world, we Engineers are responsible. And me being a part of the group am subjected to the torment of entire humanity.

When you have a B.E. degree, people tend to self-assume that you have a PHD in any type of machine build in the world.

'My vacuum cleaner is broken,' he announced to the room.
I believed that he was blabbering and continued to update my blog.
'Hello, are you listening,' he cribbed, this time directly referring to me.
'Oh, hello...' I assumed the basic form of greeting.
'My vacuum cleaner is broken,' he repeated.
'Did you use it for bad purposes?' What else can I respond?
'Idiot,' he replied angrily, confirming my doubts, 'You are a good for nothing, Engineer.'
Dang, where did that come from. I wanted to confirm to him that I am a software engineer, but I did not have the courage of argument. Sometimes I do get the courage and I do argue with some people.

'So you are like a computer engineer?'
'Yes,' I answered firmly, hoping this would be the end of it.
'So do you like assemble computers?' next question.
'Err... no,' I am unsure what to answer here, 'I write software for the computer.'
'But obviously, you don't make them, do you?' she asked, subjecting me another round of questioning. If only FBI had hired her to question Headley, Mumbai would be safe.
'Right, but I do build software for it...'
'You mean like CD?' she asks.
'Erm... not exactly, but ok.... like CD.'
'My 10 year old grandson also writes CD on his computer, what is that you get so much money for...' she asks.
Dang. I should get money for not killing you.

There are many machines who sit in your house and are really really unfriendly. After living 9 months in a single room with 1 plate, 1 katori, 1 spoon and 1 glass with no room for luxuries like toaster (its not about money, its about laziness of buying a bread to toast!!!) if you suddenly find yourself into a large kitchen loaded with machines, you actually start a world war against the appliances.

I entered the kitchen with a single mission in my mind, to silence the grumbling stomach of mine and grab a Cheese Toast. The toaster was standing peacefully and smiling at me thinking, 'Come on ordinary fragile silicon based compound, I am going to burn you!!!' Could I sense his evil smile, oh no I couldn't.

Unaware of its evil intensions I went towards the toaster and lo....its electrified me...kzzzz... and boom...the light in the house went out, resulting my mom to shout, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE BROKEN TOASTER?' she was not angry with the broken toaster but because she missed one shot in her daily soap, the scolding did not stop, 'Just ten minutes ago you ate a complete packet of bourbon biscuits and now you want to eat this? Can't I watch one serial in peace? I told you I will serve you dinner in the next break...'

Dang. And there went my cheese toast down the drain.

Machines have invaded nearly every part of our society. Early morning, I enter my office and before doing anything, I head towards the coffee machine. So it happened, I was running late for the meeting and I decided to grab a cup of coffee and dash in the meeting room.
If only I has such smooth luck, of-course I didn't. The moment I entered the pantry on the floor. The machine gave a big sigh of relief and boom, no more coffee for next three hours until the engineer repairs the instrument.

We humans build machine to simply our life and slowly the machines started to build up what we called lifes. Sometimes its really hard to wonder, is it you who made the coffee machine or it is the coffee machine that makes you? Isn't it?

Dang.

2 comments

  1. Loved ur post.. just shifted to a new flat .. its devoid of appliances as of now... but i think machines will take over soon :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Next time you want a cheese toast, try using the grill function of the Microwave.
    And for coffee(if you don't mind the instant variety) you just need hot water.

    You are now making me dread the complete mind :)

    ReplyDelete

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