Saturday, May 14, 2011

The difference between Rape, Sex and Love

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I was just rummaging through TV channels looking for some entertainment (obviously, I had not known the horrors of Indian television and obviously, now that I know, I won’t repeat it again) when I landed on a channel which showed some bizarre Bollywood movie (don’t ask me which, I am not yet subjected to such Bizarreness, crap, I don’t even know how to know which movie it was) which was portraying a court case of a rape victim.

The verdict went on something like this, from the bits that I picked up, the man that had raped her stood shamelessly in front of the girl, while the girl hung her head low in shame opposite to him. Apart from bad acting, one other thing I noticed was grossly mis-interpreted version of a court case of a rape victim.
I am not familiar with the legal proceedings, but my question is, rape is the fundamental aggregation on the soul of the woman. Can you penalize the guilty? Can the person who committed the horrible crime be punished enough for the trauma the woman has to undergo in case of rape? Obviously you can’t.

Another gross concept in the movie, which can be true, was the social pressure on the girl for not getting proper groom. Is our society so jobless that getting a groom for marriage is ultimate nirvana in life? Is there no other option available for you to do, like maybe get a life, get out of house, confident and brave and face the world out there and maybe fall in love again? Does the life ends with marriage? And yes does life ends with marriage before 25 years?

When a girl faces trauma like rape, abuse etc the first basic instinct is to shut up about it, else she won’t get a good groom or maybe she will be shamed in the society. This suppresses the feelings emerging out of the horror act and all the guilt, shame and anger get mixed up inside her and create her a hollow active volcano, ready for violent outburst. What is more important?
Saving the girl or punishing the guilty, we have to choose.

Again who is guilty? The person who raped her? The person who condemned her in shame for getting raped (usually mothers)? The person who deemed marked her as rape victim (the court, the society)? Who are we to judge what is right and what is wrong? The person who raped the girl is just the tip of ice berg for the trauma the poor soul has to face daily in and out. The prying eyes, the judging societies and unjust humans.

A few days ago, I was glancing at a news in news paper. The woman alleged she was ‘raped’ by her boyfriend in pretext of marriage. As ridiculous as this news sound, I realized that not only are we subjecting to rape trial cases in mockery, we have created mockery of the complete term of ‘rape’.
Having ’sex’ and a ‘rape’ are two completely different ideas. While the former is enjoying the feeling between two individual species, the later is aggression of the will power of one over another. The boyfriend in question can be charged under section 420 and 419, fooling people and definitely not under section 375 and Section 376(Rape).

Not only are we humiliating the victims of rape, we are also not worried about creating a mockery of the concept all together.
One of my noble friend one day spend an hour convincing that couples sitting on the rocks of the band-stand are shame to the country and culture. I reminded him, that they actually are safeguarding the ancient culture of our country, which is now engraved into stone at the temples of khajurao and many other temples in south and north India, at which he flinched his mouth.

Many scholars will argue that the engravings on the templates filled with lust and ecstasy should be buried down, but do they see that the couples sitting on band-stand or maybe the statues on the walls of Khajurao are busy in their own world and are not looking at you?

A levitated state separating them from the bounds of society, culture and worldly pleasures, deep in a trance, in peace, a state which many Sadhus and monks spend years attaining. By looking at them, we are the intruders.

We are the judges and the jury. These two sets of lovers are thus manifestations of nature, in all her myriad glory. The ancient people believe in submitting to those instincts which were natural, modern religious revolution suggest to go against the nature, thus creating the concept of lust, instead of love and giving birth to another rapist.

Nature does not judge, we humans do, a curse upon the entire humanity is that we have the brains to judge each other. A rape victim is subjected to humiliation at every step, every second, not understanding her plight and trauma sometimes by her own family. A confused soul self labels herself as rape victim and mocks the very concept of ‘rape’ while we all with our eyes judge the two people, celebrating the instinct of nature.
 We live in funny times indeed.

P.s. The torture of watching television has its own merits. If we suffer in this life, we get a better one in next. One prime time watch of a television channel, can make me the president of united states in next life. Just telling.

P.p.s Hope you understand the different in the three terms before your son in 7th standard does in Sex-ed classroom.

9 comments:

  1. yeah... thoughtful scoping on a sensitive topic, you juggled well... till the end. kudos!

    See you as the american Prez in next life! White house tea party then..?

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  2. thats very well said. I don't understand how the concept of ridiculing the victim came from ... how can people be so blind oversee the trauma that she has to grow through ... funny sad times.

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  3. Very well said. I say the exact thing. I always wonder why is it the victim who has to go through everything and be scared for life when the accused gets a much lesser punishment?

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  4. Nice said man, This self imposed so called "morality" shit is the reason the Indian people can't just have a life. They spend their lives with the arranged wife like a machine and them frawn on the lovers out of jalousy, and somebody does something out of the box, then hell brakes loose for Indian people. Rape victim is still a different case, she is passivly involved in the act, not willingly, still people looked at her like its her mistake. May god bless the real Indian culture to survival!

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  5. I seriously don't understand why the victim has to be ashamed :O

    Sick these ppl are

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  6. Unless the guilty are convicted and punished the criminal will have no fear. As of now sadly the society and law enforcing agencies don't seem to take sexual offenses seriously.

    You mentioned a case where a man has 'raped' a woman, basically sleeping with her with promises of marrying her. Sid this is legally considered 'rape' and is emotionally as traumatic and can lead to trauma similar to any other kind of rape.
    Most of us see only violent rape as 'rape' but the repercussions (social, emotional, practical) of non-violent rape are no less traumatic. Remember women and society believe a rape victim's 'life is ruined' once her 'modesty is outraged'? Both the terms need to change but until they do, even the rapist is aware of the crime being committed, the reason why he is not worried is because in most cases the victim never reports.

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  7. Loved the post though i disagree about the legal point about the rape thing.

    Section 420 and 419 regards cheating and personification... like a fraud or property related cheating. You cant classify a social wrong like Rape in that category. It did not involve trust with monetary value. It is something more than that. And Section 376 which defines rape unlike the section 376 which you pointed out(376 TALKS ABOUT PUNISHMENT ALONE)..Section 375 clearly says-

    A man is said to commit "rape" who, except in the case hereinafter excepted, has sexual intercourse with a woman under circumstances falling under any of the six following descriptions: -

    Fourthly: -With her consent, when the man knows that he is not her husband, and that her consent is given because she believes that he is another man to whom she is or believes herself to be lawfully married.

    You cannot categorize this under a mere cheating.

    I bored you i know...but what had to be said had to be :P

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  8. @red handed
    move over legal jargon I can be Bluntly wrong, but still through girl who was cheated of marriage should not use the social stigma of rape. Rape affects a person ibm so many levels, its not justice that a rape victim wants its peace, very hard to get.

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