[Updated]When your girlfriend asks you if she looks fat, is that a question or Dharamsankat?

Due to some unexpected reason (which is usually what people say when they don't want to admit they are a fool) comment form was not visible below the post. I have already slapped myself hard for this stupidity, so do send in your views which you wanted to post here quickly before I go into depression for not receiving comments on such a informative post.

Oh and Blogadda did select this post in Tangy Tuesday Picks, yay.

Go on read it,
Sid



Sometimes life brings you problems which are much more difficult that the derivative equations and I mean that. It took me three years to solve 5 derivative equations and I still find some of the hardest questions in life difficult.

You walk by the mall, thanking them for free wi-fi kept under the stairs and the also the blessed engineers who created smart phones smarter than humans when your girlfriend suddenly pops up the question, 'Did you look at her?'
This is the single most amazing and tricky questions used since day one of creation of the universe. By far many men have fallen prey to this evil spell that has tricked mankind into a bizarre stereotypical slumber from which the entire human population has yet to awaken.
The possible answers, so far, to the question are:
1. "Yes, I saw her," to which her immediate response is, "Why? Are you looking for options?" Ofcource not, are you? So why not fake it, oh don't pretend you did not see her.

There are only two types of men who do not watch at girls walking passed by, Gays and Liars (Although Gays do watch women passing by, if only for their dress or purse, but that's another matter.)
So, keeping in mind the tradition of lying since the first man who walked on earth, you reply,
2. "No, I did not see her," oh so chweet boyfriend you are, is this the answer you expect? Oh no, the next answer is, "Oh God knows where is your attention, you are so dumb."
So, you see, no exit. Dharamsankat.

"So what would you do if a pretty girl talks to you in a party?" she asked me all of the sudden.
I glanced at her, hoping that somehow the tricks of Cal Lightman or Paul Ekhman might come in handy in reading her face to see exactly what she has in her mind. I found none. Its hard to read faces under pressure you know.
"Why you asking," I took the high road, countering the interrogation.
"Just, I was watching this show, Emotional Atyachar, yesterday and it occurred to me that you would not pass the faithful test..." she said matter of fact sipping through her cranberry juice.
"Well... obviously I won't," I smiled, "I would know its a trick."
"Interesting..." she smiled, I knew what it was, deception. She was onto something and then on her face it was pride and happiness. Holy Cow, she has the number to the show.
Super butt clenching moment.
"I do watch the shows darling," she smiled and left to get a refill. Here I was having goosebumps fearing every female walking near me... lest I land up getting slapped on camera. Dhramsankat isn't it?

Then ofcource I come to the biggest question that has haunted mankind since ages, it was even asked by Mrs. God to Mr. God and might be the reason for his absence, but thats for another day, the most dreaded and dangerous questions, 'Do I look fat in this dress?' Dharamsankar to the core.
After a preliminary research on the subject, we have come to know that there is a clear buffer of 72 nano seconds in which your brain should process the words and come up with a good answer for it, which should always be 'Of-course not, you look pretty in every dress." Many men have fallen into the pause gap, causing them great distress and horrible pain in unmentionable places. Mind you.
We were in stages of ground breaking discovery into increasing the time limit of 72 nano seconds to something much more, but we could not get funds for it.
Most universities, which were headed or looked after by woman, clearly did not entertain our proposal and others were busy pondering over what came first, the hen or the chicken so this research was cut off. We still are looking for sponsors for the research, if anyone wants to find the answer.

So you see, life does poses some problems for you which are more critical than derivative equations, which does not also justify the torture of derivative equations in a adult life, but these problems are there and it will take more processing power than a zillion super computers working together to find the root cause of the problem. Till that time, lets face it, we are not going anywhere. Dharamsankat.







P.s. "Dharamsankat" is a Sanskrit/Hindu term, which means great trouble.
P.p.s. The picture is just used to depict the nature of Dharam-Sankat and the scene is from Mahabharat where Lord Krishna shows the great warrior Arjun that he is actually God.

Image courtsey: http://krishna.org

10 comments

  1. You rule.....Awesome. Will hang around for sometime.

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  2. Thank you Alka,
    What do you mean hang around.. o_O you not hanging by the ceiling are you?

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  3. May be most girls hate to admit it but we do look at men! I guess ghungats were made for that!

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  4. @Nalini
    Oh yeah.... finally someone did accept...if all all will!!

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  5. @Varsha
    Oh welll.... wellcome to Sidoscope...:P

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  6. :D :D :D

    P.S. Congrats on the tangy pick!

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  7. I really do not understand what such gals want... I guess they are insecure about the relationship which is why they keep doing that... Whatever it is, it is irritating... Gals are conscious about their looks.. and somehow have this feeling that guys don like commitment.. Cz even for guys for that matter it is difficult to start managing a house solely on their salary.. However well the gal earns, the responsibility is on the guy.. Obviously he will be scared to commit..

    Even though ours is the first relationship for both of us, one day when I asked my husband (much before the wedding) 'how is my new hairstyle', he just nodded. May be he was educated by the posts like this. I got irritated and said, 'Look, if you say u like it, I won't say 'does that mean u didn't like my previous hairstyle?'. I will be happy. If you say you didn't like it, I won't feel bad, it will just take me another month to come back to my previous hairstyle.' I could see him getting relieved instantly and he said 'You need not go back to the previous hair style. You are looking much different and this is a fresh change. In fact you can keep trying different hairstyles if you want.'

    B'coz of the typical nagging gals, I have to give this lengthy explanation to get his opinion... :(

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  8. Ha ha Preethika, you did handled the situation very correctly. I however apologize if your husband saw this blog or no.
    However no guy is mentally prepared for the questions like this. Sigh.
    Good to see you got an opinion...:P

    ReplyDelete

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