India is all that, every third person you bump on the road is a Godmen, reincarnation of a Godman or worst, God himself. The other two are his followers. Usually, I am an agnostic, its not that I do not or do believe in God, it is just that I don't care. I do what I want to do and let God do what he wants to do. But then once in a while some delusional fool walks into my holy sanctum (read: the holy bedroom where I spend most of my living life) and intends to bring with it the wraith of Gods.
"You know you should come with me to Baba Banghari," he said sipping the last cup of coffee from my coffee maker.
I was anyways frustrated because that was made for me but controlling myself, "Who Baba Bhangari? Bhangar in marathi means garbage."
"Oh no, he is from Karnataka and in Kannada Bhangar means Gold," he replied, matter of factly, "This Baba Bhangari is the second incarnation of God himself. He produces gold chains from thin air and then for many people he gives ash also as prasadam."
"Erm... why gold chain to some? and why ash to others..."
"That is because of donation, if you donate him more than lakh you get a gold chain. But the chain that he produces comes directly from heaven man, he has direct connection with God himself."
"They say, Baba Bhangar gets all the illness from his devotees on himself. All you have to do is, believe in him and pay a large donation to his Ashram, he will take all your illness on himself..." he said and joined his hands in the air as if his Bhangar baba was standing up there.
"Dude, clearly this guy is selling you his piss and you are drinking it with ecstasy..." I told him.
"No brother, that's the sad part. We get his piss to drink only on poornima and only the higher echelon gets it, we don't. They say you have to earn the right to drink his piss...." he said again joining hands in the air.
I did the same, for a man who convinces him to drink piss, is really God or worst, God-man.
When it comes to business, I have a simple rule, its called ROI, return on investments. When I got a cryptic call from a girl I was alarmed, 'Hey listen. I need to talk to you, not on home, can you come over this Saturday.'
Now, I am not the one who answers a booty call, but the girl in question was the one I was trying to impress since school days. So, I happily walked towards her house, only to see a white board, white board markers, free coffee (no complaints here) waiting for my arrival.
As I walked towards my house, detest and defeated, I realized, isn't this what they call Kalyug? A man waits for another man to serve piss as holy water. Another man tries to convince me to convince some else to join him. Everyone trying to find their existence in this world, everyone trying to something they are good at... bakwas!!!!