Of Baba's, Business and Bakwass!!!

Did you hear the story of the foreign atheist who once landed in India and after staying here for few days, immediately walked into the church to pray? When asked him what did he see in India, he replied, 'This is a country of 1200 million. No one has the slightest interest of improving it, developing it or even correcting it. They are divided on every issue in the country and every state you walk on has a different story. No one has a slightest idea what is happening in the 7 states in the country and every department has come up with a scam. Yet, this country has become the 5th largest economy in the world. Now, isn't that enough proof that God exists?'

India is all that, every third person you bump on the road is a Godmen, reincarnation of a Godman or worst, God himself. The other two are his followers. Usually, I am an agnostic, its not that I do not or do believe in God, it is just that I don't care. I do what I want to do and let God do what he wants to do. But then once in a while some delusional fool walks into my holy sanctum (read: the holy bedroom where I spend most of my living life) and intends to bring with it the wraith of Gods.

"You know you should come with me to Baba Banghari," he said sipping the last cup of coffee from my coffee maker.
I was anyways frustrated because that was made for me but controlling myself, "Who Baba Bhangari? Bhangar in marathi means garbage."
"Oh no, he is from Karnataka and in Kannada Bhangar means Gold," he replied, matter of factly, "This Baba Bhangari is the second incarnation of God himself. He produces gold chains from thin air and then for many people he gives ash also as prasadam."
"Erm... why gold chain to some? and why ash to others..."
"That is because of donation, if you donate him more than lakh you get a gold chain. But the chain that he produces comes directly from heaven man, he has direct connection with God himself."
"They say, Baba Bhangar gets all the illness from his devotees on himself. All you have to do is, believe in him and pay a large donation to his Ashram, he will take all your illness on himself..." he said and joined his hands in the air as if his Bhangar baba was standing up there.

"Dude, clearly this guy is selling you his piss and you are drinking it with ecstasy..." I told him.
"No brother, that's the sad part. We get his piss to drink only on poornima and only the higher echelon gets it, we don't. They say you have to earn the right to drink his piss...." he said again joining hands in the air.
I did the same, for a man who convinces him to drink piss, is really God or worst, God-man.

When it comes to business, I have a simple rule, its called ROI, return on investments. When I got a cryptic call from a girl I was alarmed, 'Hey listen. I need to talk to you, not on home, can you come over this Saturday.'

Now, I am not the one who answers a booty call, but the girl in question was the one I was trying to impress since school days. So, I happily walked towards her house, only to see a white board, white board markers, free coffee (no complaints here) waiting for my arrival.

Not knowing the purpose of the calling, I looked around the room confused, when it dawned on me. Move over MLM, this was a new idea of giving surveys online and making a billionaire. The person waiting for me was wearing a polished shoes and a decent tie. I felt a bit ashamed as I had walked in there in cargo shorts and simple Tshirt. The man in tie started explaining me, how I can earn billions by giving online surveys and as a proof also showed me some scanned copies of cheques received by people. Funny thing, how in this MLM world, there is always someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who earns a lot of money from the schemes.After listening to half an hour from this man, the insecurity of wearing a T-Shirt slowly, for he was just another snakes skins oil salesman, selling me the age old product... crap...or should I say piss?

As I walked towards my house, detest and defeated, I realized, isn't this what they call Kalyug? A man waits for another man to serve piss as holy water. Another man tries to convince me to convince some else to join him. Everyone trying to find their existence in this world, everyone trying to something they are good at... bakwas!!!!

5 comments

  1. Hahaha!

    Earlier there were Brahmarshi, Devarshi, Maharshi, Rishi, Paramhamsha, Avadhoot... Now we have Baba, Ma, sadhus, several Sris and so on.

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  2. Beautiful analogies and an interesting conclusion.. the bogus concept of MLM must have existed since decades, just shifting frm physical world to online world.

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  3. :) You are coming on track gradually Sid baba!!
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    shilpa

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  4. we are good animals, but social programming makes us humans ..... ultimately leading us to wear voluntary and involuntary masks of deception.

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  5. Hi Sid baba...

    Variety post...good one..:)

    ReplyDelete

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