Skip to main content

94% of the world is middlemen and they don't like to see the middle finger


The world in its broad diversity and superb ethnicity can be roughly classified into three categories.  The creators formed of scientist, engineers, film producers, bus drivers, writers, poets and then we have some normal people who use these services, like commuters, movie goers, normal people etc and then there are some lawyers, marriage bureau and other people who are some how standing in the middle of everything.
There was no need for the aunty to meddle in my affairs but as the carrier of torch for the entire middle man community she opened her mouth in my front,

"I saw you that day," she said, "you were with the girl..."
"I am with many girls, be specific who?" I quipped.
"She was wearing provocative dress and you were doing something unthinkable near the mall," she quipped.

Now, this was a serious allegation, I ordered my brain to open the archives of memories and scan the list of girls I was with in the mall. Obviously, the list was small and it narrowed down to two girls. Now the question of me doing something unthinkable with them in a provocative dress was... completely out of question.

Then I realize this aunty in question existed only in old India and doing something unthinkable could range somewhere in between talking to her to holding her hands (beyond which the Aunty will ask me if if the girl in question was my sister)

"It does not suit a boy of a good household doing those things in public," she said, "You are now coming of age, shall I look a girl for you?"

First, the aunty had no business poking in my life, second, who was that girl I didn't know but I was pretty sure she was not the distant relative of the aunty, she could be related to king kong but. So I decided to give the conversation a you turn.

"Are you still with the XYZ uncle? Do you know what they call aunties who take active interest in young, single boys life? And in this age aunty do you think it is appropriate for you to watch me doing unthinkable in public? You should be ashamed of yourself, what will people think, you talking to me like this. And what it is you are showing girls to boys like me? Don't you have any shame left or is this some part time business??"
I heard she stomped her way away from me and I distinctively heard, 'Manner-less,' as she was walking.

Move over old aunties who have passed their expiry days anyways (no offense to anyone out there, as long as you don't meddle in between others you are not aunty), there are people who are paid to be middle man.

My new found obsession has become travelling in the local bus. First it started with exploring the authenticity of Google Maps who has started posting transit time table in Pune, then my family got worried that I was ill, so it continued.

So the other day I was running towards the bus stop, late as usual. The driver was watching me run towards it and was yawning loudly (manner-less) as I looked into his eyes running, we had the telepathic conversation.
'Wait,' I am coming.
'Don't worry, I am not leaving,' he replied, telepathically.

All of the sudden, the middle man, the bus conductor rang the bell, ting ting and the telepathic link was broken. The bus drove away in front of me. Middle men I tell you.

Finally, Indian Railways have decided to roll new online ticketing service to filter middle mens and the agents, we should be prepared for the next recession? After all, those people who were earning money are not going to take care of themselves are they?

Talking about middle men, I was standing in the middle of the road minding my own business. Ok, actually I was standing in the middle of the road watching a weird man do weird things, (I like to study humans, sue me)  this dude comes up to me suddenly,
"Hey, do you need any help?" he asked.
"No, I am fine" I replied politely.
"Then, mister," he said, a bit rudely I may say, " Would you mind getting off from the middle of the road?"
Word of advise people, if you can't find the weird man doing weird things on the street, its probably you.
Cheers,


P.s. I don't know if it has become the status symbol yet, but I am on Google Plus, add me to your circle.

Comments

  1. Pehli baat: The title got me laughing.
    Doosri baat: Article is very very good.

    Teesri baat: When you wrote 'you turn', you meant 'U turn' ??

    Chauthi baat: Nope, there no fourth thing. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you think about the post? Have your say, like, dislike or even hate me. Tell me.

You might also want to Subscribe to RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter (@sidoscope) or on facebook

I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Popular posts from this blog

The moaning of life #2 Childhood Trauma

The entire shark family is out for a hunt, and the little fish are running for their life. We get to cheer as the Baby Shark does Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo with his family, calling on the family - extended family and sometimes robots on the 'hunt' because your offspring decides that that is the one song they want you to play or a tantrum follows. Many of you will say it's not the content but the catchy tune that draws the babies towards the nonsequential song, but it's more than that. It's the sheer repeatedness that draws your angst towards the piece. And YouTube provides the music based on how much time you want your baby to be engaged to it. You have a 60+ minute version and a 120+ minute version. The same shark family going out on the same hunt. And it's not just the Shark family. Weirdly, baby JJ and his family sing random songs, go on a holiday and even increase the family. I am talking about Cocomelon, which has arrived in your child's life as he murmurs t

We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls.

The human evolution is a constant race against boredom, men have for generations tried to overcome boredom is many ways possible. In olden days, they got bored, they build civilizations, big massive civilizations. The ancient Egyptians had pyramids, the Babylon build the hanging garden for people to hang out. People from far and wide come to visit the Taj Mahal, praising its divine beauty, not knowing that it was build after the wife died, thus partly in guilt. Rome was not build in a day, indication they were super bored. Then came the great barbarian evolution and they started raiding cities. Don't forget Atila the Hun who constantly attacked cities whenever he got free time. Alexander was super bored and he decided to conquer the entire world, but while these men where attacking cities and building civilizations, the women where thrown into a abyss of impending boredom. What would Mrs. Atila do when her husband was busy attacking Rome? Or What would the wives of the

Short Story: Ginger Chai

This is my first attempt for writing a love story, which I am really bad at. Mani Padma (from Ginger Chai ) challenged me to write a love story a few days ago, it is not a real great read, but a little feeble attempt to take a taste in this genre. Please give your honest opinion… Cheers, Sid. *fingers crossed* Breathe in. Breathe out. Damm, this is so easy when you are not tensed. Why is this clerk talking so much time. ‘Will you hurry up?’ I asked the clerk. My finger nails were tapping the counter in excitement. My name is Shailaja, 30, single and employed, in short a perfect girl for the aunties, mammies to constantly remind me that my days are waning out, that I have to find someone before it is impossible for them to. It is not that I don’t want to get married, but I should get some proper match, isn’t it? All they show me is either short, tall, long nose, meaning some imperfection in some way or the other. I am not at all hopeless romantic and I am definitely not goin