Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Top 10 Reasons I am not a Stereotype Indian



Life as it stands often comes back in complete circles and however you may not like you, you have to walk on its circumference. However you may want to distance yourself from anything the thing remains with yourself forever and ever. Now, obviously speaking, looking at the title there must be blood boiling in your rage which party or foreign power did I join in, the one interesting in our politics or our religion. Well, nothing like it. The point is with the rise of social networks there is a rise of phenomenon called the Delhi Boy Complex, when there is some article that brings a mass people to senses, they shout out loud to opposite it and in turn prove it.

So as it turns out, I was hanging around with some old buddies and we were discussing this so-called article by an NRI who left India because of certain reasons. I did agree with him on many points, as in, with the Sardar Jokes and stuff, when my old friend replied, 'Dude, you are anyways born in a wrong country, maybe a wrong planet even....'

 That brought me to my senses, I don't mind being born in any country and I am not leaving the country anytime soon (or have no intentions as well), I realized what if the person who causally joked was right? What if I am not a stereotype Indians and by definition of democracy am not an Indian, but a minority who has to struggle to live? (that's just sad cos I don't struggle to live, I actually make others suffer)

The retrospection got me some points with me from which I am nothing the top 10, why I am not an Indian.

I do not swear on the street or for that matter anywhere.
This may be a shocker to many but yes, I have not given those Ma, Bha and other swear words that many Indians pride in giving. I do remember giving a swear word to a person in a verbal brawl in 9th standard but I do regret doing it till date.




I greet Good Morning, thank you to every person who I meet on the way to office.
I see no difference in any office executive, bus Conductor, Office Guard or a janitor. Everyone are doing a job they are assigned to do and everyone has a role in the global chain of events. I don't even abuse or boss over the office janitor while walking.

I refuse to sit in the human pulled rickshaws in the capital of the country.
I have sat in them four times and in the last ride I saw the man very old, nearly the age of my grandfather pulling the rickshaw. That was the last time I saw in the rickshaw, I started walking the streets of Noida or use the dreaded blue line buses (this was year 2008)
I find the rickshaw feudal, inhuman and highly inappropriate. I refuse to misuse the condition of the poor rickshaw puller and tire him to exhaustion.




I do not honk horns on the signal.
Sadly many commuters besides me do not agree with me, they start honking horns as if in some sort of road-rage symphony. I do not join them, however urgent my work may be.

I do not make Sardar Jokes or even forward them.
And for that matter I do not even make Chennai jokes, American Jokes, Jokes on any person (sparing Rajnikant and CID of-course) special not those generalized jokes. If I do like some, I edit the creator to an adjective or a pronoun.
The attempt is not being politically correct but isn't it very bad to stereotype a community and make fun of them? Even the article I have specifically mentioned Stereotype Indians and not Indian, just to clarify.

I have no attraction towards MBA, MS or for that matter any higher studies. 
People always keep on saying, do an MBA, do this, do that etc. I have never really understood it and won't ever understand it. I do not even feel attracted towards the foreign universities, in fact in my first technical book I specifically mentioned Pune University to clarify my point.

I do not oppose higher studies, but going for just hopes of attaining the big fat salaries is completely stupid. I joined Comparative Mythology and Liberal Science as my higher education subjects, people always ask what is the future scope for them, I reply, attaining peace and turning a better human being.

I do not use torrents to download stuff. 
Many people complain that I am wasting my broadband speed by not downloading things, I do not care weather it is legal or illegal... simply speaking, I won't do it. Nay I refuse to do it.

I am completely open about sexuality.
Yes, I had multiple relationships, Yes I dumped them too not because I wanted them too but because we both wanted different things and I don't want anyone to sacrifice her career for me. I am still friends with 2 of my ex and they share things about everything. And yes I am open about premarital sex.


I do not respect elders if they are jobless and give me advise. 
If the elders did nothing in their life, no accomplishment, not even tried for one, just because their hair is grey doesn't mean they deserve respect. At the same time if I do meet a person smaller than me and are trying hard at something or achieving something, I respect them. I respect every person who tries to do something in their life, success or failure doesn't matter.

I do not watch cricket or even cheer for India
For me, cricket is just a game played on the field. I do not understand it beyond that. No, I don't think Sachin is God or for that matter I don't keep fast for the Indian team to win.

It is a well known fact that I do not believe in false pride in the culture and heritage of the country, while the girls are getting raped and children dying but I never thought about this in the similar lines. I have laid out the 10 things that do not qualify me as a stereotype Indian, what are your take on it? Am I qualified to be an Indian? Don't bother to answer, its a rhetorical question.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

What is common between Government, Terrorist and Big Corporations

Our societies and corporations are formed by psychopaths and power honchos who love controlling others life by controlling information. What is common between terrorist organization, Government and corporation? They all breed in silence.
In the study of sociology one understands the structure of the organization of a society. There are two types of leaders, one on which leadership is thrust upon and another who rise up to the challenge and 'dedicate' their lives in leadership. The former we call heroes while the later we call politicians. We usually praise the later for they rose up to the challenge, but we ignore one fact, the people who actually rise up to lead are power hungry, psychopaths and mostly feed on negative emotions. Don't get me wrong, I won't say all are bad, yes there are also a few who do manage to stay uncorrupt but not for long.
The draw of power is so powerful, escaping it is not an easy task as it is. Just as the way moths are attracted to lights, they are pulled from different sect of societies to it. They all are a step closer to Hitler, because the real test comes when one is told to leave the power. Do they leave power as easily as they got it? Or do they fight for it? The psychopaths fight for it with everything they got.
The two political world wars this world witness is proof that nearly all the leaders are psychopaths for they draw from the negative emotions of the war. They love the power over the minds of people and the control over the lives. These are the people who will always take the position of leaders.

It is a sad fate that we all suffer from a emotion called jealousy, we agree to get our life controlled due to sheer jealousy. There is no definite proof as how society was formed, but many scientist argue it was to protect the weak. So that even the weak may survive, but is that so? We find the weak on the street begging, homeless, hungry while the ones who agreed to support them are too busy saving others. The point is, the purpose of building society fails, because in a society everyone should be equal else there is a rise in jealousy and rise in insecurity, resulting in the rise of crime.

Society needs funding to run, and the funding should come from the participants of the society. The first income tax was introduced as war tax during wars in many countries. Before that there was no concept of the tax. The justification given was that more money will be taken from the rich and distributed to the poor, but for quality in the secular society poor should also part some part of the income. People agreed because they suffered from something called Robin Hood complex, so what I spend some money, atleast the rich are also paying more. One thing they did not realize was the rich had the money and with it also had the power to control it. So while the poor and the middle class honestly paid the taxes the rich paid the money with terms and conditions apply.

They fed the already power crazy with more negative inputs and direct benefits and as their nature the leaders show no remorse ruining the lifes of many by accepting these negative thoughts. This gives birth to corruption. In a way if we look back, creation of society in itself gives birth to corruption.

But then is there a way out? Yes there is, the government, corporation, just like terrorist organization breed on control of information. The thing that is not out yet in public. They shiver at the prospect of the information that is released, thus resulting into killing of many RTI activists. However, there is a new funny change going in the world as we speak. The Arab Spring rising, the occupy wall street campaign and the India Against Corruption moment are the first little baby steps of this change. They are enough to shake the steel nerves of the silence. Wikileaks has also shown the next phase in evolution. People may call it something else, but yet we are close the end of the world as we know it is near. The change in the air is the change of something big, something different is coming.

Wait for it...

Friday, October 7, 2011

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, Stop poking me before I kill you

One of the many drawbacks of living in a secular country is that you get in touch with people you want to avoid, day in and out. It was still easy before facebook when these people whom you don't want to meet did not know where you came from or where you went.

You could be that someone who lives in a penthouse on top of the building or you could be Batman, climbing on top of the rooftops wearing the costume of a giant bird. No one could tell, you were shrouded in complete mystery. But now it is different, people definitely know you are on Facebook. So at the end of the day, all the person has to do now is sit in his own dreaded computer and hunt for you to send a friend request.


I detest. It is highly impolite to send a friend request to a person you simply shared few ounces of oxygen in the lift, but there is no way you couldn't tell this would you? We have this new range of facebookiyans, just like orkutiyans who are out there to harass you.

Now, if the movie social network is to be believed Mark Zukerberg was dumped by his girlfriend because of which he went into super high tech way of staking her by creating facebook. He succeeded but as with all successful inventions in the world like the nuclear bomb, the telephone or the reality shows during prime time television, the success of facebook resulted in failure of mankind. Through the millions of pages at the speed of 3G network, I realized the horrible after math of facebook in the office lift. 

As usual I was patiently waiting for the lift to arrive at my floor and reading interesting tweets. The lift in the office also has a interesting attitude. Whenever I want to go on the fourth floor and I press the button, the nearest lift skips my floor and moves on in complete satisfaction of its achievement.

The second lift which has probably drawn the shortest stick as she slowly reaches and groans and moans as it opens its gates to me. Its as if making me ride inside it will put her into some circle in hell.

I got busy waiting for the lift to turn up at the destination when it happened. This man (who I honestly don't know) came from nowhere.
'Hey dude,' he poked me on my back. Yes, literally.
'Hi?' I asked nervously, unsure if he was a gay with a broken gaydar (as told to me by a gay friend, a telepathic signal that lets gays scout gays).
'How are you man, its been so long time since we met...' he exclaims with the enthusiasm of being lost in the kumb-mela with me and somehow reunited during the climax of the film with no logical explanation, 'You did not accept by friend request.'

I have no idea who you are. I have no idea which place you hail from. I have no idea about anything about you, and you want to be friend?

Friendship is something beyond one click, when will people understand? It is easy to send a friend request, it is easy to accept a friend request, but think about it, with every accept I have to share with you my pictures, that can also include pictures of my female friends, my entire life, my job, my location and everything else. If you are using everything with Facebook people can join 2 and 2 and actually map your entire life. The way you think, the way you behave everything. While all this thoughts were rummaging in my mind he retorted.

'I also poked you so many times,' he said, 'You never do reply....'

Then it dawned on me, he was the person I blocked because he send too many pokes in consequently days. That realization made me realize one more hard fact of life, I cannot block him out in real life without a shotgun.

Oh well, I prefer the old method of just being plain rude, 'I don't have time.' I reply simply.

One fine day of total 2 hours we spend together at the airport and she quickly said, 'We should get connected on Facebook'

'Woah woah, hold your guns, baby doll, shouldn't we take it really slow?,' I replied to her dismay.

It is highly impolite to poke anyone on Facebook before you do announce yourself. Shouldn't there be a 3 weeks rule for sending a friend request? How long does it take for a person to be your friend? One day, two days? Weeks? Months?

Talking about being rude, that day I was busy drinking my tea when a friend puffed a cigarette smoke on my face. Instinctively I flapped my hands hoping the smoke won't enter my lungs.
'Dude thats just rude,' he said puffing another smoke on my face.

I glanced at him in disbelief, if only we could unsubscribe from people we never want in life. Life would not be as easy as Facebooking it, isn't it?

Have you read my book yet?

Have you read my book yet?
An epic adventure across space and time