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Showing posts from 2012

The End of World as it Never Happened: 2012 in Review

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Every year has its own share of trouble with it. Some years face dictators, others face earthquakes or tsunami. But once in a while a year comes that has to face revolts, hurricanes, political turmoil, liberation, protest and imminent threat of apocalypse. And only few years in entire history were able to pull through all this Gangnam Style.

If 2012 blames 2011 for its share of troubles, it won't be entirely wrong. 2011 gave everyone a year taste of true utopia  People across the globe came out for their rights. In fact even before 2012 assumed seat in office, it had a mild heart attack.

Block that writer, right away.

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They say the purpose of a writer in this world is to keep civilization from destroying each other. That may be true but for a writer surviving in this little world is as difficult as swimming peacefully in a popular holiday swimming pool.

"So you are writing a book?" she asked, nice way to start a conversation.
"Oh yes, my first ambitious novel," I beamed, "After writing so many short stories, I decided to go for the big novel."
"Nice. You know I also plan to write a book, but when I retire and have more time."

Crash and burn. Straight face smiley. :|

[Infiction Workshop] Bullets and Bad news

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The following entry is written for indifiction workshop
Shameless, toothless and spineless. That sums most of the people I work with, yep it does. I could as well skinny dip in a pool of piranhas, that would be easier than what I do now. I am a politician, I can see you cringe on hearing that. Think about it, even a janitor is respected when he tells what job he does, but not me. Tell people you are a politician and they will tell you how you personally ruined their life and their entire families.

How do you expect a person to do a clean job when he is surrounded 24x7 by a bunch of tics who are keen on sucking your blood and your soul. Walking down into the constituency and begging for votes, even that does not make one feel any better. Even a beggar is proud of his job, not me.

[Short story] The Plot

For last ten minutes they were stuck at this signal. Few minutes ago there was a loud uproar about bandh and there was a lot of confusion. One taxi was broken in the middle of the street, causing frustration to increase. The humid heat of Mumbai was also not helping.

At the signal Ramesh was waiting patiently for the taxi to start. He had picked a passenger at the previous signal and was happy how the day started. His daughter’s birthday was next week. If only he could take two more long distance fare, he would buy her the cartoon shaped cake he had seen before. But his taxi had broken down all of the sudden in the middle of the signal.

Rakesh had just gotten into the cab, worried sick. This was the 7th job interview in last 2 weeks. He was rejected in the first six interviews. Today job interview was taken by a north indian. What chance did a poor Marathi boy who studied in Marathi medium have against those from fluent speaking convent educated outsiders? They should never have step…

OMG: Oh My Godzilla!!!!

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There are two types of festival, one is social media festival where you receive a flood of social media messages and SMS with a awkward silence. 17 email forward with 70 people in reply to all, 5 SMS (because they are charged extra), 144 friends posted on Facebook about the festival. No tweets thankfully or maybe tweets get buried under other tweets (no complaints there).

Social media festivals are secular and geographically diverse. People sitting in Bangalore will freely wish their friends in India a "happy Halloween" without fail. There will be a flood of 'Happy Id' and 'Happy Duserra' posts from all the people irrespective of religious background.


The hunt for electricity on a early Saturday morning

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This Saturday when I woke up to a very lazy morning, two things came to my mind. First, no new tweets were requiring my attention and second the phone was beeping softly trying to get my attention that battery level was critical 26%.

The second thing was easily fixable, not the first time when I left my phone unattented. If there is a late night Twitter revolution (lying on the bed in heating conversation on twitter) it is a tiresome task to put the phone on charging.

Angrezi Vangrezi...

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Life is like a lift sometimes you get inside to go up, sometimes you use it to come down. And sometimes when you are waiting in the lobby for the lift to arrive to take you upwards to your desired floor, some bum comes from behind presses the button to go down and proudly announces to his wife, "You see the lift if up so if you want to bring it down, press down..." the wife looks at her all-knowing husband proudly as if he is the sole survivor of the battle that eradicated the entire hemisphere.

The silence of the fallen

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This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 32; the thirty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is 'An Untold Story' "There is a story about that scar and I want to know it...," Jonny said casually joining the table at the high-school reunion. The whole gang was there together except Jagdish who could not fly in to their reunion.

The scar in question was the mark on face of Ravi, who had driven all the way to Goa from remote village of Karnataka. The group of six or the sinister six, as they were known in college, had gathered together as they had promised ten years after college in the remote shack in Goa.  Ravi, Jonny, Jagdish, Bobby, Mangesh and Pankaj had first met during the common detention in their first year in college. These six from six different departments and branches had one thing in common, on the…

The Last Rock On Which Universe Collapses

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Seven million light years away from my home planet and here he was, drifting across the cosmos. Feeding on the anti-matter energies in this single spaceship he had reached here were everyone would like to reach. Heaven. Was this heaven? He did not know but it surely did not look like it. In his front was the debris of the universe, a large chunk of astroid that contained nothing but dust and rocks. Spread across miles this uncharted space in the universe this bedrock was the final resting place for anyone going beyond. For beyond this rock rest the vast openness... the end of the universe. The astroid had no physical properties, it had no mass, no height, no breath nothing. It simply was.

He landed his spaceship carefully on the rocks or as careful as he could crash. This is it, he thought, mankind giant leap. He smirked, about 2000 years ago, humans had landed on the moon and though that was their greatest achievement. He knew the drill, what the humans always did to find new planet…

Limericks Poem: the little genius

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Once upon a time in a land far far away,
was a village where twins Chinki and Minki used to play.
Chinki was smart, Chinki studied well.
Minki was brave, and Minki learned well.
Chinki is a genius her father used to say.

But you are an Indian...

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Hen:"You don't eat with your hands?"
Me: "No..." getting busy with my food using spoon and fork.
Hen: "But you are an Indian, why don't you eat with your hands?"
Me: "What?"
Hen: "Oh c'mon its obvious, I know you Indians eat food with your own hands chicken curry tikka masala."

Twice

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Millions thoughts raced in his head as he stared at the red light. Each thought more dangerous than the next. In two continuous seconds he considered committing suicide and then contemplated murdering his boss in next instant. As the light stared at him, he thought back on his life. 

Just like the red it was not moving. Stagnant. Obviously he was promoted twice in the last two years but it only meant more bosses to report to and more responsibility.

[Fantasy Story] The Victory that was Lost

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Now

‘I give up,’ he said silently, methodologically and calmly, ‘I give you this round, the fact that you have managed to penetrate my chakravyuva defense on this island, proves you are an intellectual capabilities are no less than mine, Agatya,’

Agatya breathed heavily as he looked at his arch enemy, the terror of the west, the criminal mastermind, Professor Omnivore, this was over? So easily?

Master of Backward Administration

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Lets say hypothetically, you live on a illegal land mass without paying a single penny of tax to acquire it. Lets say hypothetically you use stolen electricity from the pillar to lighten up your house. Lets say you hog the water supply, pollute the atmosphere by going for toilets in the middle of the street without regard for the hygiene or society. Lets say you have no ambition, regards for the law and order of the city and then you hog the city footpaths for your business over which, obviously, you can't pay taxes or any money but will pay cops some money, in turn increasing corruption.

So lets say you do this all, in any civilization across the galaxy, hypothetically, what would you expect in return? In some cultures you would be, hypothetically, killed brutally.
Welcome to India, where doing any or all of the above gets you a 1 BHK flat, reservation in education system and also a good job assurance.

Its not that bad if you look at it. I mean, most of these people do need bett…

Forget the God, show me the stupidity particle and Ill be proud.

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When the big scientist were busy smashing miniature rocks in large tubes,  I overheard a very fat lady say this to another fat lady in the bus, "Oh so what they are finding God particle and all, its just boys will be boys. Break rocks, smash things.... my husband does not even help me clean the house..." The relevance to this conversation can only be found if you posses the stupidity particle in yourself. Basically, it is the subatomic level at which every human conversation boils down. Finally it doesn't matter how old you are, how awesome you are or how gay you are... it all boils down to this, gender neutral, age neutral, sex neutral.... stupidity is for everyone.

There are some things in life that never change, like the jokes made by dentist, the argument given for any point by a woman and the amount of change in a bus conductors little bag. But then there are some thing's in life that change more rapidly than the speed at which rabbits make babies. Change hit m…

On the day he was on fire...

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Today for the first time he decided to finish some work. No it was not due to any pressure, it was due to apathy. He used to see her across his office everyday, begging on the street. He always gave her a coin without fail.He would then proceed to buy two vada-pav for office.

He had joined the office twenty years ago, fresh out of graduation. He wanted to change the world. He wanted to do something different. So what he was a clerk in a government building, he still was someone.

On his first day to office, he realized he was no one, soon he realized his work didn't matter. "As if the people will go to some other office," said a senior officer shamelessly on his first day of office.

"13922125 people living in this city," said another one, with almost accurate data, but then he realize this senior was googling something on the very slow VGA monitor and the statistics turned up, "And we are just 200 managing all that data. As if anyone cares..."

So his…

The stupidometer of Astrology, Aakash and ATM

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Life, as they say is like an ATM center, you put in your hard earned money into the bank and the outlet waits for you day and night to return your own hard earned money. Sometimes occasionally it refuses to give out certain amount for the lack of it, sometimes you ask for a thousand and all it can give you out are little hundreds.

In India there are lots and lots of ATM centers scattered across the place, right from petrol pumps to residential complex to shopping malls. The ATM center remains standing waiting, temping for users to use it, withdraw some cash, buy some ice cream or even eat Gol Guppa, Fuchka or a Pani Puri. No wonder you always find a line in front of an ATM center.

There is a class in people who tend will visit the astrologer more than they visit the temple. They will sit in front of all the babas and listen to them more attentively than they will do for their own bosses. If I were a astrologer and someone asked me what would be the safest profession in the future, I …

How smart would it be to preorder Samsung Galaxy SIII?

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Those who still are living on caves or apple trees should know, the next big thing is already here. Breaking all the past records the ultimates smartest phone on this galaxy has landed. Its not just a fruit, its not a cherry, its the entire Galaxy the third. Samsung Galaxy S3. When I say it is here, I do not mean somewhere in the first world country or some distant land far far away where Indians wait in queue for thousands of years, nope, I mean in India.
Samsung Galaxy S3 is coming in India. They say early adopters are someone special, you can be one just like me. All it takes is 2000 bucks and a little courage to do something, 7 million others won't be doing. You can prebook the galaxy, right away. Prebook your own Galaxy S3 by paying only 2000 bucks at the new Samsung India Estore and then pay the rest when the phone is launched in India. Simple. The phone lands on your doorstep in 3 days and a million days before others realize there is a phone smarter than them. What is mor…

Truth Alone Triumphs

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Truth is overrated. Truth alone itself manifests as the supreme thing above everything, multiple religious dogmas claim that 'Only the truth can set you free' and almost every supreme court in this world is built on the foundation of 'truth alone triumphs'. However, with this human obsession of truth, there is one harsh reality out there waiting for us. In Hindi there is one saying, 'Truth is always bitter,' which is as true as it can get. Rationally speaking, truth is as bitter as anything human does. We are a civilization build on the foundation of lies and deception and truth is something that will haunt us.

Its a harsh reality of it all, to build a society, we need lies. Everything cannot be told to everyone. Our own appointed government wants to keep secret from us, which is fair, for they do not know which person would harm us all and who wouldn't. Parents have to lie about Santa Claus or Easter Bunny or in most part of India, Bagulbua, the monster o…

Quick Bytes: Moving On

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There Are Two Things You Should Know About Samsung Galaxy Y Duos Smart Phone

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That day she felt a silent tremor rising on the exterior of the crust. It was uncanny as if millions of voices where silenced somewhere in the deeper part of this planet. It was everywhere the silent monster was growing out of plain sight and she was stuck in the dilemma if she should go on and investigate the disturbance on the planet or go to potty first. Well it was a valid dilemma you see, does she follow the early morning ritual since the dawn of time or follow this new thing that would end till dusk of time, "The cable went out..." answered her smug little boyfriend eating an apple.

"A package has arrived..." he said as smugly as he was handling his *ahem*phone.
"Why do you keep getting this Samsung phones, be classy, be creative..." he said simply pointing out his *ahem*phone.

The package was about Samsung Galaxy Y duos, Samsung first entry in the range of Dual Sim Android phone.  The power of Android now comes with flexibility of using two sim ca…

The Greatest Battle Ever Fought

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"Ceaser," screamed the messenger as he ran inside the palace. Ceaser was busy painting on the canvas silently as he looked up at the messenger. He was the ceaser he had to keep it together, "What is it?" he said calmly.
"At the gates," the messenger screamed, "At the gates...."
The messenger was unable to speak, something was wrong at the gates. Something that terrified the poor soul.

Ceaser peacefully continued drawing the circle on the canvas when he realized, the bugles were blowing. Enemy was at the gate. The bugles were blowing very hard for it was not an ordinary enemy, it was him. It was the barbaric Huns. It was The Hun, he who would not be named.

The messenger from the corner of his eye clearly saw the circle ceaser was drawing was no longer a perfect circle but said nothing. It was not his position to say anything. The ceaser felt his hands trembling and he lost his concentration, this was it, every ceaser before him had wished that t…

Thirty days challenge returns

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Life is one monotonous humdrum of humdrums. We spend our entire life living in one room inventing new ways of moving to another. We want to do everything easily, simply and with minimum effort which is good until all we are left with is only efforts.

If you ask me what is the sumtotal of our humans, it is none. We have single handedly replaced many animals on the food chain. We have managed to destroy most of the biosphere and are trying to take evolution in our own hands.

This thing pains me a lot. But since I am a small one among 7 billion of us all I can do is try to get many to join in this pain and hope that at the final citadel of humanity they remember me.
But in this monotonous humdrum, even if I cannot take down a totalitarian regime of dictators, I do discipline my mind by taking up challenges that liven the spirit and change the way I feel about myself.

Last time when I took up the 30 day challenge, I accomplished the following things:

1. I took a break from social network…

Jam, Butter and Bread.

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"How much Jam, Butter and bread do you need for a camping for a night?" she though for one last time before setting out the foot out of the wild. She tried calculating it for a bit and then gave up, who cared anyway?

Deep forest, one weekend with Jam, Butter and bread, she smiled at the prospect of it. No one in her village could understand her fixation of going back into woods again and again. She had to be there, that was were she felt safe. One weekend safely into the woods and back to the mundane daily monotonous life.

For last three years she was going back into the woods and no one knew why. The elders knew it had to be because of that fateful day, the day she got lost into the woods. Something inside the woods changed her life forever.

"She kept running," recounted the old lady from the church, "I remember seeing her running into the woods, who was chasing her God knows."

"She was chased by the wolves," said the village pawn broker, &quo…

The Journey That Was Never Remembered

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Life is one long journey from one station to another, just like a daily office employee waits for the next Borivali fast local impatiently at Dadar station, you wait impatiently for the next train to take you closer towards your destination. Just like the office employee, you know the train is going to come, it comes by everyday at the same time (almost the same time), the announcer has even announced that it will come but still mind has its doubts about the train and life. The journey of life takes you on every road, sometimes you start towards the east trying to get away from something, only to find that something ahead in front of you as you return from the west.

Then there are those steeps which throw doubts in the strongest of the minds. You accelerate harder and harder hoping that the steep will be overcome but eventually realize a small reduction in gear is all it takes to go over that steep. The satisfaction you get as you reach the top, you know its not the mount Everest, bu…

Cliffhanger

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The laws of physics had gone for lunch break, he thought. He had jotted down, classified and categorized all the problems he could ever face in his entire lifetime. Hanging seventy feet high up in the air by his shoe lace was not one of them. He was not even supposed to be here, not like this anyway. But his limbo poised a serious question that would reflect on his entire lifetime, which way should he go?

He had climbed this building to go down, he used the lift while going up but will now use gravity to do is job to take him down. Gravity you be bitches, he exclaimed. He had seen his shoe lace loosen as he stood on the edge of the building to jump. He considered tying it but then ignored, where he was going there was no need for a shoe lace, was there?

All the seventy religious dogma and no one explained if you should tie your shoe lace before dying. Well, it was too late for that wasn’t it? Oh, well nothing he could do now could he?

What was that buddhist story about the hunter, st…

Anti-social Media

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Man is a social animal, whoever came up with this phrase was probably having high tea with his college buddies in canteen. Man is infact an anti-social animal, specially when canteen serves tea mixed with lots of water and a spot of milk which is hardly spotted.

Social Media is everywhere, people are spending more and more time on Facebook, Twitter and erm… well… erm.. . Clearly suits (businessmen) and advertising agents do not like it. No after spending a millions of rupees in adding a jingle to their product, they learn that the customer for whose brain wash they had set it up is busy on Facebook, they will get angry.

So then they change tracks and start popping on Facebook and Twitter and soon mindless rant turns commercial, and when it comes to money, the policy is prepared for the employee and on and on.

One thing Social media does not give you is let live. Earlier when you used to talk to the wall, no one would like it. Now you talk to the wall and you get million likes (yikes)…

The Love was Melting...slowly.

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Something was not right with this world, he decided. How could this world spin so peacefully? He had lost her, LOST HER. how could the world even spin? There was something definitely wrong. in the final moments of desperation he had panicked. He did not know if it was the right thing to do but he did it.

Yes he did it. She gave him immense pleasure, yes she did. Till her last moment of the existence, she lived to satisfy him, to please him.

A few moments ago he would not have even cared about her, but he had touched her. He had felt the coldness on his lips, they felt numb. Her cold exterior only gave him intense pleasure.

That’s it, he decided, this world should stop spinning. This world should pay the price of is negligence.

He stared at her, blue berry ice cream with extra truffle and butterscotch lying limbless on the floor. The molecular structure had come apart due to heat, the ice cream was melting along with his hopes for a decent Sunday afternoon.

He had seen her fall in fro…

The Valentine Pity Fry

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There comes a time in every persons life when you loose complete hinge over reality. You refuse any human touch and the only existence of life in your room is the continuous snore under the blanket heard at constant frequency. Thus in the winter of 2010, I found myself suddenly waking to a disturbance. I have heard that there were mughal emperors who used to behead the people who disturbed their sleep, for fifteen seconds I wished I was one of them. But no, I wasn’t. Having lost touch with reality and human beings for three consecutive days, waking up to reality was not a good experience.

Here I was waking up after three days on a Sunday with a very bad headache (sleeping for 18 hours straight), a very foul smell (which considering my room was not cleaned in like a month was acceptable) and a very grumbling stomach.

It took me seven seconds to adjust to the surrounds and pin point the location to the disturbance, which was my Chinese Phone ringing at the top of its voice. Considering …

This blogger in need is stupid indeed.

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Been running a bit slow here but hello there. Have you observed the world change around lately? Well obviously science of stupidity is on vacation but thats hardly the news. Stupidity is obviously on the rise with more and more people crossing the stupidity threshold day by day, soon stupidity will be given a religious status by the stupid people (duh uh).

Ok alright, I admit, I am in a writers block, there I said it. Yes, I am in a writers block. There are two possibilities that could have caused that either I was kidnapped by aliens experimented (sexually) and then brain washed, or I may have witnessed a murder and repressed the memory. Whichever it is, clearly the creative idea flow is consistent, only stringing them together is a problem.

I have tried acupressure (ouch, ouch, ouch), Ayurveda churan (which tasted like... never mind...), I went for meditation (only my teacher realized half an hour later and me half an hour plus one minute later that I went to sleep meditating) and …