Monday, October 13, 2014

[Short Story] The Trial of Ravana

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On the southernest peak of Bharatvarsha the army of monkey kingdom Kishkinda camped near the ocean bank. Few were busy preparing food for the rest, while others were sharping their weapons. There was a murmur among the army about crossing the ocean.

At that time four people huddled at the beach discussing their option. Ram, Lakshman, Hanumaan and Jambavana discussing the strategy for crossing the ocean.
"We need to find out if Ravana is holding Sita captive in that kingdom. I do not wish to battle the king without any sort of proof," Lord Ram said.
"King Ravana rules Lanka. He is one of the most powerful and the richest king," Jambavana said.
"But is there is a way to confirm if he has held Sita captive there and..." Lord Ram spoke, "... I need proof that he holds her captive against her wishes."
"Brother!!!!," Lakshman gasped, "Do not doubt Sita mayya please."
"I do not but as prince of Ayodhya and the leader of the army, I need definite reason to attack." Lord Ram said.
"Perhaps," Jambavana explained, "I can help. I know the ancient vidya of leaping high but since I am injured I cannot do it myself. I would be happy to tell one willing participant the secret to flying."
"I can do it," Lakshman volunteered, "if anyone can fly, I would like to do so."
"No brother," Lord Ram said, "You are a prince of Ayodhya. Stepping inside the kingdom of Lanka will put both kingdoms in an awkward position. A third party should do it, someone like Hanumaan."

Hanumaan looked at his mentor and bowed.

"Hanumaan," Lord Ram said, "I know it seems herculean task but if there is anyone who can do this, its you. I believe in you. You have to jump across the ocean and find Sita. Once you find her, give her my ring as a proof that you are my companion and inform her that I am on my way to save her."
"Why can't Hanuman bring Sita Mayya back?" asked Lakshmana, "If we have the knowledge of flight. If he can leap across the entire ocean, he can as well bring her on his shoulders."
"Yes he can," Lord Ram said, "But that won't do justice to Ravana. By kidnapping my wife from my own house, Ravana has challenge me to defend my house. By sending Hanuman I am asserting that we are going in the correct direction and we will build a bridge across this ocean to cross it."
"But brother, with all due respect, we have a band of monkeys. If our knowledge is correct we will be facing a horde of monsters, demons and what-not in that kingdom."
"Perhaps we will," Lord Rama said, "But we cannot let that deter our efforts can we? We can fight the battle with best of our efforts and hold Ravana in my court. It is not an easy task, I agree, no one has defeated the King in so many years. He is good but by taking my wife against her wishes, he has made the battle personal."
"Ravana is evil," Lakshmana spoke, "Ravana is evil and his trickery knows no bound. Why do we even fight the battle in just way."
"We fight the battle in the just way because Ravana is evil and we are not like him. He used trickery to kidnap Sita, we cannot use trickery to bring her back. That way there will be no difference between him and us. We will follow the procedure, protocol and we will bring him to justice."

"Are you ready Hanumaan?" Jambavana asked.
The revelation troubled Hanumaan, can he leap across an entire ocean? He though to himself. Jambavana was the wisest among all, he was the advisor to Sugriva in the kingdom as well as Prabhu Ram. What if he failed? What if he never reached across and died in the way? He would let his mentor down.

He looked Jambavana in fearful eyes, "I know what you are thinking vaanar raj." Jambavana spoke, "The task is difficult. You will be having a lot of questions now but this is a leap you have to take on faith. Just believe Vaanar raj, just believe. It will all come to you from now, you will be able to enlarge or reduce your body as your will too. But for once, answer me this?" he asked, "Do you trust me?"

All the doubts, all the questions Hanumaan had vanished at the question and he answered, "yes, I trust you."

"Then jump Vaanar raj," Jambavana said, "Jump."

Friday, October 10, 2014

Chapter 27 : Xombie Apocalypse

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The final chapter in this journey is upon us. The ultimate conclusion for the ultimate plot for the ultimate power. The sixteen hour concludes from Team Supernova. You can read the previous chapter here or you can go to the begining on our facebook page and read in sequence.



"He just has to make things harder for me," Jennifer said as she struggled to open the door that Sasha had bolted. She got inside the cabin closing the door behind her, "Damn it. One spoilt apple can ruin the entire apple pie."

"All along Sasha was planning the biggest coup of his life, dethrone me. My grandfather established the Xombie empire by using his military connections.

My father expanded it to smuggling but when I took over they raised questions. How can a woman lead a criminal empire? I had a singular focus since my Engineering days, I knew I was good at one thing. Computers, the modern equal of oil and gold. Information passing along at tremendous speed on the information highway. I decided to expand it to the Internet. Made Xombie the biggest hacking organized effort ever. I had foot soldiers like hackers, rebels and leakers from many organizations. We waited, we watched and we collected information. How stupid I was to not know that Sasha all along was gathering information on me. He used his own band of followers and even used postal service to gather evidence against me. You know how much nuclear codes from a country cost in black market?" Jennifer asked, "I can buy this train and hundreds like that with that." 

"Sasha gathered a lot of information against me. Even I do not know what it contained," she continued, "...But your wife outsmarted him. Seduced him to get information from him. Snatched all sensitive information and contacted Sarkar with it. Stupid fool, when he learnt what my organization was up to, he came up to me blackmailing me to help him become PM. All men are bastard; they just do things for money, power and lust. Double cross me, expose me." 

"Had to play along with him till I could," Jennifer said, "he was resourceful but Sasha was clever. He faked his own death to get himself involved with us. There was even a fake death certificate on his name in the system."

"When my boys came to know about your trip to Delhi," Jennifer said, "I realized the extent of the troubles I was getting into. But I came to know about it late, you were already in Delhi by the time I came to know. My boys lost track of you from Mumbai. Cyrus was already a pain in my neck; I decided to take care of both of you in one shot. Sasha came back with a story of remorse and revenge. He told me about your wife and her betrayal. He was convinced that Roohi was his child, a replacement for his dead child. Your wife strung him along till she could dry him out of information. He offered his help to get information from you, and in return he wanted to see you dead.”

"Why were you crying earlier?" Cyrus asked.

"I am the boss of a criminal empire," Jennifer said, "I don't have the luxury of crying but yes I had a moment of weakness on meeting Sasha in the train. As per our plan, I had to play along as a passenger caught unaware with the hijack, but I saw a very different and scary side of him. Something I hadn’t seen ever before. I doubted his loyalty. The train had no communication with the outside world. He was going to make you a scapegoat for the hijack and at the same time expose me. Brilliant genius. I wanted to kidnap Roohi and use her as a leverage to make you hand over the file. Sasha’s friend Ravi and yet another neighbor of yours from Lonavala meddled in that kidnapping and all this while I thought Ravi was on my side. Men, tsk. Ahuja was good, he never trusted Sasha but that man gives me creeps. He is on nobody’s side but himself. As long as he is paid well, he is on my side. Now that’s the man I can trust."

"Anyways, where was I with you two?" she looked at Cyrus, "You feel cheated do you? Do you feel cheated when the government takes away almost fifty percent of your hard earned money? Do you feel cheated when you as a lawyer rob people of their life savings?"

"You are heartbroken Cyrus," she continued, "That teaches you a lesson on trusting people. Now Shekhar."

"See let’s not make it harder than it is," Jennifer said, "I could have you shot dead the minute you got on this train. Buried your body so deep into the ground that nobody could find you. The only reason you are alive is because we needed a scapegoat to pin this hijacking on. Your face is currently flashing on all news channels as the hijacker of this train."

"Shekhar," Jennifer said, "I want to inform you this as gently as possible. There is no way out of this. This is it, the end of line. You are not getting out alive from this train. In few minutes there will be a diversion, a blast somewhere on this train and by the time people realize what has happened I would be long gone. You could give me the file before I leave or it burns with you. The train will stop and authorities will have their hijacker gift wrapped for them. Tara gets discredited and whatever information she has on me is useless. All the work she has done is gone."

"I will never give you the file," Shekhar said, "You can kill me now but you are not getting that file. Only I know where is that file on this train, when I ran with the bag and hid it. But you could stop this train and tell us where the bomb is and perhaps you will not get into deeper mess than it is already."

"That is not going to happen," Jennifer shrugged, "It ends here. The end of line. In fact I am bored, I don't want the file. Sasha has ruined my mood."

Shekhar and Cyrus looked at each other.

"The file you have, it already has a lot of information about my organization. That's three generations of criminal empire raised by my family. If I can't get it, the train is going to blow."

"Jennifer," Cyrus said, "No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back. I saw you cry a few hours ago. I know you are playing with things beyond your control. Turn back Jennifer, turn back. This is not justified. Prove you are a better person."

"I...oh... Cyrus," Jennifer explained, "I... can't...it’s over."

"No Jennifer," Cyrus held her by shoulders, "It is never over until you think it is. You still have time to do this right. It’s OK, Jennifer."

"There is nothing I can do now Cyrus," Jennifer said, "I am locked into this room and Sasha has gone to stop the train. Soon there will be a swarm of military over this. We cannot reach the bomb in time anyways."

"We can," Shekhar said, "The train is not stopping till we reach Mumbai Central. There is something you do not know. I don't have the file with me, I never had it."

Jennifer looked at Shekhar stunned, "I was just a decoy to help her plan the whole thing. Sasha betrayed you, he wanted your organization. He was gathering intelligence and evidence against you but none of that was enough to arrest or implicate you. There was no mention of who ran the organization. There was no mention of who was the ring leader and without that information the rest was of no value." Shekhar spoke, "That's where I came in. I wrote this plot. We kept fake email and mobile chains to let Xombie know that we were up to something big. We provided you evidence that would cause panic. We knew that will force the head of the organization to come chasing after us. I was the decoy to bring you out in the open."

Shekhar knocked on the door, "All I did today was buy time till we could reach Mumbai."

The compartment door sprang open and in walked Sasha handcuffed and carried by a team of plain clothed police men. Jennifer pulled out her gun.

"Sorry Jennifer," Shekhar said as police officers surrounded him and Cyrus.

"Ma'am, these are six excellent marksmen from Mumbai police, you cannot take us all out. It is better for you if you put down the weapon."

"Inspector," Cyrus said, "There is a bomb on this train."

"It was set for sixteen hours since the train started," Jennifer said, "If you don't let me go, it is going to blow."

"You are bluffing," Sasha said, "There is no bomb on the train, my men searched the whole train. We didn't find anything. We have been doing that for last sixteen hours."

"You did not look in one place," Jennifer looked outside the window, a helicopter was flying close to the train. She unbuttoned her jacket to reveal a wired bomb strapped to her torso, 

"This bomb will blow this train to bits with me and everyone in it."

"My ride is here," Jennifer said, "Perhaps you have won this battle Shekhar. Your wife she is smart but remember Xombie is everywhere. Now gentlemen, move out of the way. I have a helicopter to catch."

Jennifer rushed outside as the policemen gave her way, "We can't let her escape," Cyrus said.

"There are two thousand people in this train," the inspector said, "I don't want innocent blood on my hand."

"She can't escape," Sasha said, "My men are riding that helicopter. She will get her on board diffuse the bomb, if we make a deal I can get it parked wherever you want. I want immunity from arrest. I walk free you get Jennifer and Xombie"

"How do I know you are telling the truth?" the inspector asked.

"You don't," Sasha said, "We can work out the details later but Jennifer is not going to escape for a long time."

"If we get her," the inspector finally said, "We can talk about that."

The police men took over the train and the train was finally brought to a stop at Mumbai Central station.

"Look at that," the inspector said, "Sixteen hours of non-stop running and this train is on time today."   
One last thing, it does not end here. There is an epilogue to go through isn't it? Hop on for the final epilogue over here.
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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Chapter 23: The Sixteenth Hour Begins

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Team Supernova at it again. We are a bunch of bloggers who have decided to write this massive story called The 16th Hour. You can read the previous chapter here. Or go to our brand new Facebook page to read all the chapters.

The first light of dawn shone brightly in the distance. The sun was not up yet but it was promising to see the speck of bright light shine. Shekhar glanced at the rising Sun and realize the time was coming to an end. Soon the sun will rise and brightly bringing their safety to a standstill. Shekhar realized that in a few minutes he had to decide if he was going to go down or take the fight back to the hijackers. He knew he could trust no one for what he carried was more important for safety of his country, his family and future of all children in the country. There was only one thing to do.

Cyrus was glancing at the end of the door for some time now; there were two guards at each end of the compartment. Even if they snuck past them where would they go? Jennifer was thinking, there were only two directions they could run and either way there was no escape.

The walkie talkie of the guards buzz and he walked in. "Your time is up," said the guard pulling Jennifer by her shoulder, "Come with me."

"Nooo..." Jennifer screamed, "Please...I ... please... I had..." she clutched Cyrus collar, "help me please."

"Stop that," Cyrus stood near in front of the guard, "If you want to take her, you take me as well."

"Your turn will come," the guard smashed the butt of his gun on Cyrus head, "Don't meddle in our affairs." Cyrus collapsed on the ground and the guards dragged the screaming Jennifer out of sight towards the next bogie.


Shekhar knelt down besides Cyrus who was dizzy from the blow to his head. When the guards left two passengers gathered around them, “They are targeting you, why?”

“It’s a long story but if we want to live to see tomorrow, we need to fight back,” Shekhar said.

“They said they will leave us once they capture you,” said another.

“They want something from us,” Cyrus replied, “I don’t have what they want with me. We are as good as dead.”

“We need distraction,” Shekhar said, “There is only one way to get out of this problem. We have to give him something, it will buy us time.”

“We need to save Jennifer,” Cyrus whispered, “They will torture her.”

“We can help you,” said one passenger. Another one stood up from behind, “Yeah we could take over.”

"We need to take the guards at our gate first then walk over to the other side where they have taken Jennifer," Cyrus said. “There is one guard at this gate but we do not know many on the other side.”

“Let’s deal with one problem first,” Shekhar said, “Lets tackle this guard and we have one side open.” 

Shekhar sprang into action and grabbed his shoulder bag from the rack.

“Why do you need it for?” Cyrus asked.

“Leverage,” Shekhar said, “Let’s go.”

The guard was getting irritated standing near the smelly toilet of the train. His job sucked. First he had to stand in a train outside a bogey to keep an eye on three people. Second there was foul smell of the toilet and since nobody was going to clean it, it was disturbing him. Third, there was AC inside the cabin but his boss had asked him to stand outside the door. There had to be a better job, he thought to himself. If only he had studied, he could have got better jobs. But it was too late for that.

The next bogey was empty, for some reason his boss had not placed two guards on the other side. Only one bogey had two guards on each side, others had few placed. But of course working in this organization he knew, physical security didn’t matter. His company owned data and information. They were good at misusing it. Even if someone did escape this train, their data won’t be safe, will it? 

Lost in his own thoughts the guard yawned, nothing exciting happened since he came on duty today. Such boring days. Wham! A big knock on his head jolted him back to senses. He looked around for source of the attack. Turning around, he saw Shekhar holding the shoulder bag. Shekhar had some weight inside the bag with which he had hit the guard.

“That hurt,” the guard said pulling out a semi-automatic gun, “I have a gun.”

A group of four people jumped over the guard, one of them snatched the gun from him. Someone smashed the guard on his head and he fell unconscious. Before anyone could react, Shekhar dashed out to the next bogey ignoring them. He had no clue how he was going to face any guards on the way. But he had a plan. Or maybe a part of the plan. 

Cyrus looked at Shekhar running away but decided on saving Jennifer, “He clearly planned on running, took his bag with him. Let me focus, I need to rescue Jennifer.”

As the group headed towards the door they became dead quiet and positioned themselves next to the archway. There were four guards in this passage, perhaps guarding someone else too. “We need to take them all by surprise,” said one whispering. 
“Let’s attack fast.” said another.

They all were busy staring at the door that none could see two mask men standing from the passenger seat tiptoe behind them. “You think,” said one of them standing near them. He was pointing a semi-automatic MP4, “That we will take over the train with help of few illiterate guards?”

Everyone froze and turned around, “Hands where I can see them, my hand are shaky and this is an MP4.”

Three more masked-men stood up from the seats. “Xombie is all about deception,” one of them said, “We are everywhere.”

The guards standing outside had now stepped in followed by Sasha behind them.
“What is happening here? A revolution?” Sasha exclaimed, “Cyrus, you break my heart. I thought you were smarter than this.”

“Where is Jennifer?” Cyrus asked.

“Ooh,” Sasha exclaimed, “You came to rescue her, is it? With this band of boys? This day is getting better and better.”

“And all these heroes,” Sasha said, “Round them up and stash them in the food compartment. I like heroes, I really do but I like my mission more.”

“Sasha,” Shekhar’s voice boomed on the speakers, “You made a mistake didn’t you? You didn’t come here to get evidence from me. You came here to cover your tracks. Xombie made a mistake, didn’t it?” 

Shasha ordered the guards, “He is in the control room, hurry up get him.”
“You see all this while I was wondering why you were after me? After all Tara had the information about Xombie not me, why me? I am just a writer; I did not meddle in your affairs. First, I thought you were here to pressurize Tara. She has sensitive information about Xombie and she can make it public. But then the information is your domain, you control the internet don’t you? Why was it that you choose to hijack the Rajdhani? What was the one thing this train didn’t have?”

“What about these people?” the guard asked, “Shekhar is priority one. Just keep these people contained, we need four guns here.”

“Communication,” Shekhar continued, “You isolated this train from the outside world. No internet, no phone and no communication. See Sasha, you guys were perfect. You Hijacked a train, you endangered my family and for what? For some information, no, you wanted something more. See Xombie does not need information; you already have more than you need. No Xombie needed a platform, a massive hijack. That was a brilliant platform. But then at the end of it, you need a fall guy, don't you?”

Sasha dashed through the compartments after compartments. He knew where the voice was booming from, he had used it before.

“Imagine the sensation; a lone group hijacks a train right under the nose of the government. But there is one thing you underestimated Sasha and that is the power of a common man. You are a prisoner on this train just like us aren't you?”

Heads turned from passenger seats as Sasha made way to the control room.

“See, there are 2000 passengers on this train and by now I think they realize that they are stuck here till you guys say so. What do you think they will do when they realize that you are less than fifty?”

Sasha paused in his tracks and so did the guards, passengers start looking at them. Guards pulled out the guns.

“Protect me,” Sasha ordered his guards as passengers started looking at them.
“I know what you want Sasha and I know what you will do to get it,” Shekhar voice boomed across the train. “And perhaps by the end of today you will get what you want but I am going to make your life harder from this point.”

Escaping the agitated crowd Sasha reached the control room only to find Shekhar had his phone next to the mic. A voice recording app was playing the message and Shekhar was not there in the room.

“You want to capture me; you will have to find me first. Peek-a-boo.”


Sasha grabbed the phone and walked away, pissed out and angry. Shekhar was a dead man now.
 The gloves are off, the time is up, the situation heating up. What will happen next? What is Shekhar planning? Can he save his family, his country and his self? Will Roohi get her ice cream? You have to continue reading next
Me and my team are participating in "Game of Blogs" at Blogadda.com"CelebrateBlogging with us.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

3 Things About 'Ravan' You Were Always Confused About

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There is a discussion on the role of Ravan and Duryodhana and their role in the giant epic of Ramayana and Mahabharata. I have also adopted the pen name as 'The Ravan' and naturally people assume I am part of the group that believes Ravan was wrongly defeated. A common argument on Ravan goes, 'Ravan was the best king of the region and Ram attacked him over his wife,' or another one, 'Duryodhana was denied what he deserved, he was tricked into defeat by Krishna'. If you are one of the people described thus, this is a post for you.

Well there is no nice way of saying this but, 'What have you been smoking?' while it is completely understandable for younger generation to question their roots, the best option to clear any doubts you have is to read. There are countless books written on this topic and only when you read a couple of them you come to the true meaning of the books. The thing about Hinduism is that it has got many layers and once you start peeling the layers, underneath you find an idea, a concept, a metaphysical ideology that blows your mind.

Lets start from one, lets talk about Ravan. The justification that Ravan was good and just king is that he protected the people of Lanka from many Persian invaders. That the Lanka he had was richest of the land and the subjects were content and happy. 
These all facts are true, Ravan was indeed a just and noble king. He also had the impeccable reputation of being the most feared king in south-east Asia. Lanka did prosper under Ravan's rule but that made him even more arrogant. His constant conquest made him arrogant of him being supreme. Lanka was rich in weatlh even before Ravan took it from Kubera, the God of wealth. But during Ravan's rule, corruption increased, misery and arrogance increased and so did egos. There was no law left in the land and hence him being just king and all, he was a good leader and a amazing warrior but he was a poor administrator.

Ram attacked him for kidnapping Sita.
If Ram had to attack Lanka to rescue Sita, he would have snuck into Lanka picked up his wife and leave the place. Don't forget without Hanuman, Ram and Lakshman were much powerful than Ravan himself. But Ram chose to act like a true king and by not sneaking into Lanka chose to attack the ideology of Ravan. The rest of Ramayana was just a battle of ideology. Ram being the prince of Ayodhya commanded an army from monkey kingdom Kishkindha Kāṇḍ against the mighty army of Lanka. This showed that Ram chose a political battle rather than personal one in this. This bit is not popular among the feminist, who talk about Sita and her troubles. But in that moment Ram automatically won the battle, not because he was God but because he was acting between the law (Dharma).

So Ravan was not justified in his action, neither was he defeated in trickery. He was a just king who led a kingdom to war for his personal conquest, which was again not justified. At the end of Ramayana, Ram asks Vibhishana to establish the law of people instead of law of nature (matsyanyaya) in the kingdom of Lanka. Thus during the course of Ramayana, Ram establishes law of people in two kingdoms.

Why do I choose the name 'The Ravan' as pen name for my articles?
Ravan with whatever his flaws was a remarkable person with a remarkable personality. He choose to follow his path irrespective of whether it was acceptable with society, people or even God. Ravan was called 'Maha Brahman' by Ram himself and he was the knowledgeable in the Vedas and scriptures. The name 'Ravan' means the one with the terrible roar, which I insist on having through this blog and my stories. And hence the pen name 'The Ravan'.




Monday, September 29, 2014

The End Is here!!!!

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Cross posting from my other blog
Halleluah!!!!
Three years of writing effort, 80,000 words.

First edit, 79,000 words (Doesn't seem a lot but trust me it is)

Second edit, 67,000 words (Phew and getting rid of one of a nice piece which had dinosour in it. **Sulk**)

And finally typing the two words that would perhaps make sense of it all.

-- The End --

But then if only things were as simple in that crazy brain of mine, no they were not. So here is what I ended writing
THE WORLD WAS NORMAL OR AS NORMAL AS IT POSSIBLY COULD BE.THIS WOULD BE THE TIME TO QUOTE A ‘THE END’ ON A BOOK BUT THEN IS IT? FOR WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT DON’T WE? 
TIME, AS THEY SAY, IS A FUNNY THING. IT WANTS US TO BELIEVE IT MOVES FORWARD BUT SNEAKILY MOVES IN ALL DIRECTIONS. 
FINALLY, IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE ENDING, IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT THE JOURNEY.

Is the end, perhaps not. But a three year effort is laudable. During these three years I..
  • Got married
  • Moved city twice
  • Went into a writers blocked twice
  • Deleted the entire book in frustration 4 times
  • Gave up finishing this story, one time, starting a new one only to jolt back by my wife, Deepika.
  • Missed deadlines 9 times (and counting)
  • Gave excuses to not publish the book 6 times
  • Erased 3 characters of existence (two because they bored me, one because I had to edit it out)


Finally, the book is an awesome journey through space and time. It has got dinosaours, robots, werewolves and people with IQ more than average human being. It does have a man with the blue box but that blue box is tiny.
After brief celebrations, Ill come up with more updates about the book soon.

The End. For now



Saturday, September 27, 2014

Mahabharata Personality Types

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Did a Tweetathon on #MahabharatPersonalityTypes, these are people who live in todays world but act and behave like Mahabharata characters. What more personlity types do you want to see? Mention in comments below.



Friday, September 26, 2014

Chapter 16th: Capital Crime

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This is the 16th part of a story written by Team Supernova. I hate people who walk into a movie hall during climax, this is not where this story begins. Go read the previous chapter here. If you have missed a lot, go back all the way to starting following the links on the blog.

Chapter 16th: Capital Crime

Tara had acted swiftly after she had subdued the guards. Both of them were tied safely with the curtain ropes in their bathroom. She had secured Roohi room and dismantles the guards gun. Why was Sarkar in Lonavala? She wondered, this safe house was her and her alone, but now Sarkar knew this place. It would not be very safe to stay here for a long time. She decided to pack and make a run for it. But if Shekhar escapes them he will make way to this safe house and walk into the trap as she did.

Time was of essense and she decided to leave Shekhar a coded message about her whereabouts and a little surprise for her captives when they return.

And indeed in few minutes she say Sarkar tracer had moved towards the guest house. He was returning, not this time, this time she was prepared. Wasn't she? This time she had a plan. But it was not Sarkar who walked in the house and the security system did not even beep once as Aryan Ahuja entered her house.

"Hello old neighbour," Aryan Ahuja spoke, "We need to talk. Funny thing about safe houses really, they give you a sense of security that you are safe. You are not. Do you have some more tea?"

"Do you know how much time does it take to kidnap someone in this country?" Aryan Ahuja asked Tara as her offered her tea, "Don't worry, I won't spill it on you like you did to those guards and this," he pulled out the tracker that she had placed on Sarkar from his pocket and placed next to the tea cup.

"Have some tea," Aryan Ahuja spoke, "This is one of the most rarest blend formed from a unique mixture of herbs made only in one farm near Darjeeling. I own that farm."
"As I was saying by the last known record it took seven minutes for few teenagers to kidnap a dozen of girls," Aryan Ahuja said, "But my record is much less than that."
"For dinner last night your husband ate at Karim's, splendid cook and amazing food, he then went on to get a box of sweets from Gupta sweet mart for you, very nice sweets, make sure you try their Kaju Katli. Today morning your husband was eating dosa at the local eatery near the Nizamuddin station," Aryan Ahuja said, "I own that restaurant.," he leaned over the table, "Point being, I could have kidnapped your husband from anywhere but I choose to set this up during his train journey. Do you know why?"

"Why?" Tara asked.
"To make a point," Aryan Ahuja said, "If I can hijack a Rajdhani train of this country just to scare one passenger, you can run anywhere or anyplace in the world, i'll always find you. Now to business."

He turned on the television, "The quality of news programming has dropped hasn't it nowadays?"
Tara nervously glanced at the television, the news reporter were going live from Kota station and different theories were floating around about train being hijacked or brakes being failed. There was another news story about a terror plot suspicion.

"Let me give you a lesson in journalism," he picked up his phone and dialed a number, "See journalism is hard working journalist collect stories to show them to the world, hand them over to an editor who corrects for political, diplomatic and for stupid mistakes," he spoke on the phone, "Run the story."

"And then there is me," he said calmly, "The news maker, I make news for them to air."

The news anchor on television suddenly paused and spoke, "We are going live with a breaking news. The rumors are true, Rajdhani express running from Delhi to Mumbai has been hijacked. Police have just released picture of the suspect from CCTV footage at the Delhi railway station."

Aryan simply flipped another channel and all the news channels were showing same picture over and over again.

"Like a bird trapped in a cage," Aryan said, "Beautiful. There are more than 2000 passengers on that train fearing their fate, fear in the biggest motivator, fear of unknown is greater than that. They all know your husbands name and are looking for him. In about ten minutes, there will be a high level meeting of National Security Advisor with the army generals and the president. They will decide on ways to capture or kill your husband. In the next fifteen minutes, your husband will be labeled enemy of the state," Aryan smiled, "I hijacked a train to make a point, you really think a wooden door is going to save your daughter from me?"

"From the bottom of my heart ill tell you Tara," Aryan said, "It really pains me to do this but you have something I need and only I can save your husband and daughter."

Tara entire world came crashing down as she saw Shekhar picture flash as the hijacker of Rajdhani express on national television.

To be continued head on to Chapter 17 Curiosity killed the cat
“Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com. #CelebrateBlogging with us.”

Monday, September 15, 2014

Chapter 6: Air-lift

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This won't make any sense until you go read the previous chapter here. It still won't make sense there, follow the link back to the first post by team Supernova and read it from there.


The most obvious question that was missing in this otherwise ridiculous day was asked by the most ignored person so far. Move over hijacking, move over helicopters, move over everything else but the most important question that remained hanging in the air was,

Should she finish her homework for tomorrow or should she watch doremon?
Roohi was trying to decide what would be suitable. Today couldn't get any funnier could it? First that uncle came to pick her up in school. She knew him didn't she? Yes she did, she had seen him before, Ravi Uncle had come to their house in Lonavala, didn't he? He even called her by name. Why did watchmen uncle had to stop that uncle, Roohi didn't understand at all. Ravi uncle was going to give her ice cream.
Helicopter ride was really fun, she was going to tell about it to the entire class tomorrow. She even wanted to shout 'Weee' while airborne but she could not, her mom was busy flying it. Where are we anyways? Roohi thought, her mom was busy on phone since they got back. What does Hijack mean? Roohi decided to ask her English teacher tomorrow in school, will she go to school tomorrow?
Roohi was hungry, she decided that she should look for some biscuits in the house. Strawberry cream or chocolate? Roohi though looking at two biscuit packets lying on the kitchen table. Whose house is this? The house had, "One, two, three... no four rooms," Roohi murmured to herself.
"Lets lift him up from the train, how could they all travel together," her mother was speaking loudly on the phone to someone, Roohi ignored that. Now she was looking for the television remote somewhere, "They must be really stupid to think they can hijack a train and we do nothing," her mom said. Roohi made a note to give her mom the swear jar, she said stupid, she should put a coin in swear jar, "We can airlift Shekhar and Cyrus out of the train and then simply blast it."
Ooh Dad is coming home, Roohi smiled, she is going to tell him about the helicopter ride today. "Shekhar knows nothing about it," her mom continued, "I knew they were coming after us. That's why I had the helicopter and save house ready. I was waiting for Shekhar to return, since they have intercepted him on the train, we have to make a tough call."
"Alert the home minister," she finally said, "I'll take care of the media front. Will make sure they are exposed. I am not going to let a small incident hamper my research for last decade."
Roohi finally found the remote lying under the sofa, she pulled it out and tuned in doremon. Things were going to get ridiculously crazy from now on. She didn't knew it now, for all she wanted to do was watch doremon.

Tara had brought her child to the safe house to keep her safe, little did she know that the safe word in safe house is not going to change their fate.

Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com.
#CelebrateBlogging with us. To continue the journey click here for next chapter

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

10 Insane Things about London That will confuse you

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When I first stepped into London, I was a bit anxious. After being misinformed about almost everything about London and then Googling for ending hours here I was on in the heart of British Empire. Here are few things that are absurdly confusing (OK not absurd, maybe a cultural shock or maybe just absurd) in London.

1. They greet you with 'You Ok', 'Everything alright'.
The people in London don't greet you 'Hello' or 'Hi', they say, 'You ok', or 'Everything alright'. Now that is fine in normal London sense of way but the moment someone asks me that, I am like, 'Stop face reading.' 'No everything is not alright, starting with this form of greeting.'

2. Chips are Fries and Crisps are Chips
New Mucchad mascot for the blog.
No that's true, you ask for Chips and they give you fries. Even in Mc. Donald's were universal code (OK maybe not universal) for Burger is, 'You want to make it a meal with fries' but no in London they are chips. Want any chips?


3. The overtly attachment for fish and chips
Someone in the past invented fish and chips. The entire population liked it so much that they didn't bother inventing another seafood dish. Only seafood option available in most restaurants is fish and chips with an exception to fish pie which most of the bars seems to stock a lot.

4. Washing Machines in the kitchen
I still have to figure out the reason for strategic placement of washing machine next to my oven. A slight miss in the angle and I might end up washing my pie and burning my shirt.

5. Sandwich being the main item in a lunch menu
You tell me whatever you want, I will never understand how can a sandwich and a packet of chips (or crisps) be served at a lunch menu. Most of the time these sandwiches are not cooked, they are stuffed with cold meat, veggies and served in a nice packet. A geniune request to heat it up is respond with an even colder stare. That stare can only match with the weather in London.

6. Drinking hot tea to cool off on a hot summer day
That sentence is legit according to Londoners. What is the obsession with tea one can never understand until 5:00 when it seems the entire nation declares as the official high tea hour.

7. The too much politeness
The first time someone held a door open, I felt good. Thank you, I beamed. The second time, I wasn't thrilled but I still beamed. Repeat that forty times a day and you finally give up. Londoners are too polite. They even say 'Sorry' if you accidently bump into them. I believe if a robber decides to rob me he will come up and say, "Sorry chap, can you please give me all your money?" Talking about money they don't have anything above 20 pounds in print.
Solar charger that doesn't work as nicely as you expected.

8. The lack of Sun
Sometime in the past, the Londoners decided they didn't need the sun anymore and he obliged. The lack of Sun only mocks at you if you proudly bring a solar mobile charger with you on your journey. British summer season comprises of a week of nice hot sun followed by two weeks of spontaneous downpour.

9. Spontaneously standing in the queue for Banks, Supermarket, Parks and any random place that requires three or more person.
In India people fall in line when they are subjected to metal restrains, watched over by security guards who carry wood sticks and after a fight, confusion about the correct line. As a dedicated Indian who has come through this confusion I find it exceedingly appalling that in London, people spontaneously form lines at random places. Its like you are standing for a bus and wallah, people are standing behind you. You have that Kaalia - Amitabh Bacchan moment here.

10. License to watch television
The most interesting British citizen James Bond proudly boasts he has License to Kill. That is not some clever catch phrase, you need to have license for everything, including watching television. The house owner has given a television but you cannot watch it until you buy a license for it. "My name is Bond, James Bond and I have License to Kill," "Yeah Sorry mate, until you pay the license to watch television I am not going to allow you too."


Monday, August 18, 2014

Things no one should tell you when you are leaving the country but still they will

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A while back I moved to London. The transition was smooth, I packed a box of seven clean underwears, a packet of bakarwadi (it's a pune thing), few clothes and was on my way to the land of Queen (real one).

It was a new experience altogether. First thing that stuck me was how many people had wrong advise about traveling to London from India. As goes the unspoken law of char log kya kahenge, my journey to London spread across the community of people I knew (and didn't know) and they had to meet me to talk to me. How do these people even communicate? Do they have some whatsapp group that we don't know about? Or do they like have weekly conference call to get status update from each other. "Oh my son just got a job with Xx salary, what about you, report." Anyways these people kept popping everywhere with advise in abundance.

"Oh be careful about immigration officers at Heathrow airport. They provoke you," said one wise fellow, "They have a right to detain anyone who creates ruckus and deport them from the country."
"Remember, " said another, "I have heard that British Airways is a bit of racist towards Indians. Be prepared to face that."
"But you have never left your house in forever, how do you know that?" I asked.
"I read," he said, "I have a news filter that tells me all countries that are racist towards us. I think they are jealous of our rich culture and the fact that our national anthem is chosen one of the best national anthem in the world."
That jibe about national anthem went for another fifteen minutes. Before he could start about his long lost anscestor, the Prince of Nigeria, I made an excuse of going for a TB test.

The number of people Indians know from London is alarming, "My closest friend lives in London. If you have any trouble, just pop over to him," he said.
"Thanks, I'll need them when I am actually house hunting. Can you give me their contact details so that I can call them when I reach in London?"
"Sure give me your email id," he continued, "I don't have their latest contact number but I have their yahoo email Id"
I'll tell you what, I am a email racist ok, you give me your yahoo email id and I will judge you. You give me your rediffmail email id and I will start looking for your tail.

While this one going on another set of people started popping up at different times. Now these set of people were not here to advise me on what I should do in London (thankfully) but rather what my personal choices are and how me moving to london is going to throught India back into stone age.

"Why you don't love India?" he asked.
"I do..." I shrugged.
"You don't get enough here or what? Leaving your country, you learn in this country and become corporate slave for them..." and the lecture went on. The problem with that was, during is swadeshi moment I was struggling hard to find a pause to gulp my coffee.

Two weeks later I am on a 9 hour day flight (I counted) chasing the hot sun, five pegs of whisky, two hours of sleep and watching two movies back to back later, I realised, I am in London. No there was no racism on the flight but i may have troubled one flight attendant talking about my allergy to certain vegetables while gobbling on vegetarian food. Poor fellow she kept checking on me from time to time.

No one provoked me at the Heathrow airport. The immigration officer in Mumbai had more questions for me but those were mostly because he could not believe anyone would want me in London (I get that a lot).

Stepping outside the Heathrow airport and breathing the British air for the first time, I realized... dammit I forgot to pack six pair of socks.

Have you had any such experience while planning a trip? Share them in comments below

Friday, August 15, 2014

Things India needs freedom from

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Many years ago we made a tryst with destiny, we choose a nation for ourself. A nation ruled by people, for people and of the people. Yet somewhere down the line, we failed. We failed miserablely. Yes, India is a nation ruled by democracy, it is the biggest democracy in the world and yet, our democracy is broken. Did we really set our for this path, perhaps we did, perhaps it was a big mistake. Organizing a nation of 1.2 billion people is not a joke, big civilization couldn't do that. But what the government and administration should do or did is not the purpose of this blog. Lets look at the 10 things India needs feedom from.













Monday, August 11, 2014

Why Prince of Nigeria could never start a riot

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DEAR SIR, I am Prince Some-Obviously-True-Name the elder son of the late King Why-Would-You-Care-II whose demise occur following a brief illness. Before the death of my father, King Why-Would-You-Care-II, I was authorised and officially known as the next successor and beneficiary of my father’s property according to Some-Country Traditional rite...

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Facts about sex that will help you survive India

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Is it ironic that the land who taught the world Kamasutra shy's away on mention of world 'Sex'? Is it ironic that the civilisation that portrayed woman as powerful, dominating and ruling over the men (Mahabharata, Shakuntala etc.) has modern woman fighting for the tag of 'item girls'? Isn't it ironic that the country that gave voting rights to woman on the day of its inception is filled with rape cases day in and out?

Irony is part of Indian culture. Hypocrisy and irony are the two pillars on which the foundation of modern India is laid. Let's take an instance for the case of 'Sex education' in India. Here is the deal, sexual frustration is rampant across the country, considering the number of Item songs gaining popularity nowadays. The root cause of this, maybe is our attitude towards things like individualistic freedom, repression towards sex and the skewed concept of 'Indian culture'.

So here are the list of things against Indian Culture,
1. Premarital sex
2. Sex education
3. The concept of marital rape
4. Watching Porn
5. Having sex without making a baby (Source: Kamasutra)

but then Indian culture is not that prudish, no it is not. There are few things that are aligned with Indian Culture. They are ok to go.

1. Rape
2. Item Songs with lyrics as 'Sheila ki Jawani', 'Munni Badnaam hui' in movies rated 'Safe' for children.
3. Martial rape
4. Consensual sex but rape case if not married.
5. Public shaming and threatening by the cops for woman who wish to raise a complaint against men.

In one of the crowdiest places on Earth, things like personal freedom, liberal values are not important. What is more important is 'Char log kya kahenge'. In this ridiculously confusing country, it is not important if you were raped or molested as long as you got married properly.  Every Indian parent is suffering from Anuptaphobia, which is a hi-fi word for fear of getting married. And every adult India spends his/her life 'saving' his/her virginity for the big night. No, seriously, in few communities virginity test is very common. Their quest for staying virgin can only be matched with their race for making 'male' babies.

Basically anything normal is abnormal in India and any weird thing you spot, try not to flinch. You see a two year old doing a 'thumka' for her amusement and the parents clapping on that is 'normal'. Putting pressure on the children to complete their parents dream which including-

1. Choosing the career parents ask them to.
2. Marrying the girl of families choice.
3. Making babies before the elders die

Is considered normal. Any form of physical attraction or relationship is unhealthy for the country. Yet, it is ok for people to oggle at girls, eve-tease and rape (after all boys will be boys- said by an esteemed minister). Is there a solution?
Yes, there is, if you listen to the people. This is the best solution you can ever get, stay within your limits. If you are a girl wear full body covering clothes, regularly pray to God and stay indoors. If you are a boy, ask your parents everything (including the loo timing). Sex/rape and all those things are ok, as long as there is marriage involved down the line. After all you are preserving the Indian culture which has considered getting married more sacred that human feelings, emotions and freedom.

So there you go, your guide about sex in India. You may be offended by this article, I understand, after all sarcasm is also against the Indian culture.


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

What No One Tells You About Hinduism

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In recent years, the dialogue of Hindutva, Hinduism and Hindu in general has attained main-stream media. Be it Rahul Gandhi raising fears against Hindu Militants (like really!!!) or be it protest against arrest of Asaram Bapu or other God-men in recent times. Hindu as a religion has got more than its fair share of attention. Young adults are questioning their faith and the culture while there are allegation about all sorts of thing about hinduism in general.
Few weeks ago, in a heated argument about justification of Hinduism, a friend questioned the authenticity of hinduism. In this post I decided to put my views on Hinduism as explained to him.

1. The concept of polytheism
The very first thing to understand about Hinduism is that it is a polytheist religion. What that means is there is no key to reach heaven and you can create your own keys. 7 billion people can choose how they want to reach heaven and attain moksha or nirvana. There is no priest, there is no temple. In Mahabharata Krishna tells Arjuna that he can worship God in any form, any way and anywhere as long as the intent is honest.

2. Who owns Hinduism?
While many religions have a authority and a fix point of contact (so to speak), Hinduism has no such thing. You are still a hindu if you do not go to a temple for eons or that you do not believe in Shiva or Krishna or any mainstream deities. You can choose your own way of worship and your own deity and still be a hindu.

3. Why are there so many festivals?
Believe it or not, Hinduism is purely based on Mathematics of nature. Every festival denotes important climate change, which was celebrated in earlier days.

4. Will I go to hell if I don't follow the doctrine/ books about hinduism like Bhagwat Gita, Manu Smriti?
According to Bhagwat Gita, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. That is something we like to call the law of Karma. There is no concept of Hell in Hinduism, there is heaven, there is mount meru and there is nether-land but not hell. No one is punished anywhere else but earth according to Hinduism. This is done in form of re-birth (which you can choose to believe or not, no pressure). But there is no God/Dogma that says, obey me or I will throw you to hell. There is no pressure at all.

5. Most of the Gods in Hinduism are dead in the stories, how can a God die? Shouldn't he be omnipresent?
This is half fact, the complete fact is that while there are stories of God's death in Hinduism, there are also stories of demon's death. There is no God and no Demon, hinduism simply states that whenever there is a trouble, God will appear in different forms and rescue you from them. The pressure to help you solve problems is on God, what you suffer is your own Karma. A God cannot die but what dies is a point of view. An avatar is just a point of view of God. Ram is the point of view of a perfect man, Krishna is point of view of a cruel strategist, Narsimha is the point of view of a angry God. These all forms are different points of view of same God. There are 33 million points of view of the same idea, all are alive and all are dead.

6.  Hinduism has bad elements like the caste system and the sati system.
While I agree that many years ago there was a sati system that was abolished but it was not as widespread as people would like you to believe. Infact, in many caste there was no idea of Sati. But that isn't justification of the horrible concept. Yes, it was abolished and so was caste system. But then have you observed the modern caste system? A doctor prefers his child to be a doctor. They will use their connections to make him a doctor, similar with a lawyer and perhaps an IIM graduate. While these system were prevalent and horrible everyone has a choice to not choose them. The path is not easy, I agree, but not impossible.

7. Hinduism is oppressive towards woman/ LGBT
Hinduism is the only religion that mentions the contribution of woman in forming the society. Shiv Puran mentions Parvati as his Ardhangini, means the better half. The story of Ganga, Yamuna and Savitri depicts modern and dominant woman in charge of their life. Hinduism has a lot of different points of view and you can choose which one to follow. Vishnu is a mohini avatar was a transexual, Shikhandi was allowed on the battlefield because God Krishna announced that he was a man. Shikhandi was a transexual. Arjun was a crossdresser in exile and fell in love with a woman. There are a lot many stories that treat LGBT equally in par with male and female counterparts. If someone says otherwise, you can choose to ignore it.

8. There are so many political parties that are oppressive towards non Hindus and create ruckus once in a while.
I usually avoid talking politics on this blog but on this matter I'll say this. Refer back to point one about having a point of view. These parties have their own point of view and go on to defend that in their own crooked sense of way. You need not blame the religion for those views. Just as hinduism gives you right to choose any point of view of a God so does it also give right to deny any other point of view. 



Bottomline: here is what hinduism teaches you in his immense wisdom, unlimited dogma and never ending universe. You choose, worship, pray or not pray any God you like or don't like. You do whatever you do and however you do, you won't be judged but be prepared to reap the seeds you have sown and remember Karma is watching you all the time.

These are my views on Hinduism, what about yours?

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Maid in India

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It was one of those weeks in my house when me and my partner were too lazed out to go grocery shopping. Every passing day the number of onion, tomatoes started depleting and we were slowly entering the dark era. Our maid gave a constant reminder of the upcoming apocolypse but since it was morning 7:30, a time before we normally wake up, all those warnings fell on deaf ears nay on sleepy deaf ears.

Finally, one fine day making a very inaudible noise she walked towards us and declared that the end of the world was here and she could not cook anything. At that precise moment, my mind went into a self-doubt mode on exactly who was the employee and who was the employeer. But this was not the first time my mind went into the overdrive of self doubt.

A few weeks back when my wife had gone to her native, our doorbell rang horribly for five to six times distrubing my sweet dreams of world domination. The people had almost started worshipping me in my dream when the doorbell kicked me out of the giant podium and I had to relunctantly open the door,
"Where were you?" asked the maid as she took charge of the house.
"I...ugh... sleeping," I said still yawning, I do not know if there any other possible response at 6:30 in the morning.
"So late in opening the door, were you out again last night?" she asked.
For a freaking moment, I thought I was still asleep and this was my wife enquiring about my whereabouts. I opened by eyes wide but no, it was the maid.
"Ugh... I..." in one freighting moment I had forgotten the entire voccabulary of Hindi.

The list does not end here, in my house the chain of command begins with my wife and in her absense, it is handed over to the maid. Aparently, as the husband I come at the very bottom of the chain of command pyramid in the house.

"Can you come a bit late from tomorrow?" my partner pleaded with the maid one fine morning. After ruining our sleep for seven consequitive days we came up with the solution.
"No can't do," the maid said, "I have only 7:30 slot free for your house. I have to work elsewhere and it is already booked."
"Can you switch us to another slot? Say after 10:30?"
"No," the maid replied firmly, "And I will take a holiday every Monday, weather you like it or no."
She announced firmly and went ahead to do her regular job. An hour later when I tried to show the same firmness to my boss, he repraminded me for coming late to office and insisted I come on time. So much for chain of command.

How we met our maid is also an interesting story in itself. It was 7 hours since we moved into our new house, 6 out of those seven were spend sleeping as we moved in late last night. Early morning 7:30 the doorbell rang and on the door was the maid. "I used to work in this house earlier, do you need a maid?" We needed one definately but had never decided on it. I think it was mostly the sleep depravation that we agreed on one.

Having a maid is as horrible as not having one. But the most horrible part of it is having one and she not coming on time. Never before have we waited for anyone more than the maid to arrive. Having a maid in India is as good as having a very uncomfortable raincoat in rain. While raincoat is a necessity, it is still uncomfortable having one.

What are your woes?




Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Top ten reasons why you probably got married in India

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All over the world, marriage is the holy union of two people who choose each other with mutual consent and decide to spend the entire life together. India, as with many other social norms, begs to differ in the definition. Tweet: Marriage is the horrible combination of Government, God and honeymoon packages. http://ctt.ec/_yeeR+

The following are the top ten reasons why people get married in India, and no love doesn't come in this list.

1. The 'marriageable' age is passing or has passed.
There is a wide range of what is supposed to be a marriageable age. It could vary from 18 to 30 depending on who you believe in.

2. The sons of Mr. XYZ has got married recently in lavish ceremony
Incidentally you were told the exact amount of insane money spend my the new daugther-in-law family to the last paise.

3. You are growing bald, fat or worst dark!!!
Yep, you are physically deforming into a monster, apparently.

4. You are leaving out of city, state or country
Basically anyplace where you will be out of sight from your parents and have a chance of 'slipping'

5. You are living alone out of your parents sight
Every parent believes that once the boy is out of sight he parties hard, gets drunk all night, has shady friends circle and the ultimate nightmare of every indian parent... a girlfriend outside the caste!!!!

6. You got a good job (which means earning more than 25k) and thus are now eligible for a lavish dowry
The rate of dowry varies depending on multiple criteria, have you checked out the dowrycalulator yet?

7. Your grandfathers dying wish is to see his grandson.
With great powers comes great responsibility and all that shit.

8. Relatives have started asking questions.
The nosy char log who have been ruining the life's of countless young adults from Kashmir to Kanyakumari strike again. They starting poking around the personal details of your life making you edge further towards marriage.

9. The Mahurat falls on a public holiday/ Sunday after a long time
Nothing beats like a marriage on a sunday specially if its a non-veg wedding.

10. You just happen to walk into a room full of strangers and a woman who was attempting to fake shy. You had no clue they were planning your marriage
This happens quite a lot, deal with it.

If you got married for one of the reasons above, I pity you. If not, congratulations you made a wise choice. Happy Wedding.

Just a light humor there, people get married for other reasons as well. I got one and surived two years today.