The stupidometer of Astrology, Aakash and ATM

Life, as they say is like an ATM center, you put in your hard earned money into the bank and the outlet waits for you day and night to return your own hard earned money. Sometimes occasionally it refuses to give out certain amount for the lack of it, sometimes you ask for a thousand and all it can give you out are little hundreds.

In India there are lots and lots of ATM centers scattered across the place, right from petrol pumps to residential complex to shopping malls. The ATM center remains standing waiting, temping for users to use it, withdraw some cash, buy some ice cream or even eat Gol Guppa, Fuchka or a Pani Puri. No wonder you always find a line in front of an ATM center.

There is a class in people who tend will visit the astrologer more than they visit the temple. They will sit in front of all the babas and listen to them more attentively than they will do for their own bosses. If I were a astrologer and someone asked me what would be the safest profession in the future, I would directly predict astrology. It does not take a seer to know that there will be people who are scared at any given point of time.

Thus I was not surprised when my friend walked to me with depressed face, "This cannot be happening..." he said.
"Is everything alright?" I asked, knowing that the person who was depressed had received a promotion this cycle and was supposed to go onsite to his dream city soon.
"You know, how everything is going perfect but it won't?" he asked.
"Was your VISA rejected?" I asked consoling him as if I had nothing better to do, "Or did they stop your promotion?"
"No no," he said, "everything is fine in my professional life, its just that my mom..." he paused to take a deep breath.
"Everything is fine at home? what happened to your mom," I replied, recollecting the recipe for tea, incase I have to offer him as consolation.
With a deep breath he explained, "My mom just consulted with our family astrologer who says if I do not donate 3 kgs of bananas in our village with my own hands my flight to onsite will crash in the middle of the sea..." he started sobbing, "Now tell me man, I have to fly next week, how am I going to go to my village and offer the bananas?"
Forget the tea, I simply gave up complete hope and walked out of the room. Ignorance is such a bliss.

The local astrologer one day sent a message through my parents that there was some trouble of snake in my life. He went on to explain that if the ritual is not complete I won't receive any promotion in my career. I got promoted in a week after his message, to which he said, it will stop sometime.

Wasn't there one such seer who scammed people of their salary in leu of giving them advice? Turns out he did give them advice as promised, but only people who had false hopes about him never saw their wishes coming true. I was half minded going there but then I trusted the good old reliable wishing well, who still charges one buck.

There is another thing happening in India which is crazier that an astrologer. It is a new concept called Aakash, the cheapest tablet in the world. Designed by some of the geniuses in this country this new concept will revolutionize everything in this country... or not. The tablet is sheer stupid, slow and buggy. If there is a person who will find use to it is if he doesn't touch it. However, if you talk about it people will say, 'Heh, for 2k bucks what are you expecting?'
Well I agree you are building a cheapest tablet, but hello, the genius engineers of this country, build the cheap tablet in terms of money and not cheap quality.

The local ATM center was filled with people. After waiting for three minutes in line, I decided to pop inside the ATM center and check whats the hold up. The person inside was cusing the ATM to be broken beyond repair. He also screamed loudly at the guard about how he was going to report this to someone and so on. When politely asked to move aside, he fumed at me. On closer inspection at the ATM center, it turned out, this was a different model that the rest and it asked for a screen validation check before withdrawing. I removed my money and walked from the ATM, not turning behind or looking at the angry man or the angry mob outside the ATM who were waiting in line for sometime. The ATM was perfectly fine, what was not fine was someone inside the box.

Somethings don't change. Somethings don't shift, they are constant. On the stupidometer of life, there will always me someone who outcrossed everyone on the way up. There will be someone stuck inside the ATM cusing at the machine even though it is his attitude there is broken. Everytime there will be fear, there will be God and everytime there will be God there will be an astrologer holding a ticket to the gates of heaven. People will still believe in cheap thrills by just passing by, like scoring a 94% in exam is more essential that learning what was thought.

But these things, make life interesting. If not for these little stupid actions, this blog will never survive, neither will we, shall we?

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1 comment

  1. Excellent ! This is a nice post. You know exactly what you're talking about, exactly where other people are coming .Thanks 

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