Sid-O-Scope

The entire shark family is out for a hunt, and the little fish are running for their life. We get to cheer as the Baby Shark does Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo with his family, calling on the family - extended family and sometimes robots on the 'hunt' because your offspring decides that that is the one song they want you to play or a tantrum follows. Many of you will say it's not the content but the catchy tune that draws the babies towards the nonsequential song, but it's more than that. It's the sheer repeatedness that draws your angst towards the piece. And YouTube provides the music based on how much time you want your baby to be engaged to it. You have a 60+ minute version and a 120+ minute version. The same shark family going out on the same hunt. And it's not just the Shark family. Weirdly, baby JJ and his family sing random songs, go on a holiday and even increase the family. I am talking about Cocomelon, which has arrived in your child's life as he murmurs t...

"Whatcha doing?" I asked her as she stood in a questionable position in the jogger's park, early morning. How early? Even the slum dwellers had not come out on the streets for their morning potty. 'I am practising a new form of defence,' she replied peacefully. 'Defense, that is interesting. Some trouble?' I quizzed. 'I met my old friends today over lunch then we went shopping, and in the evening we took coffee at CCD,' she started. 'So we were discussing relationships, she was telling how she has screwed her life and how practical she has become after her first breakup I haven't told anyone about my boyfriend, but it made me think of how foolish and stupid I am...' About time, don't you think? '..and how I am not doing anything about it, also they told me that I have lost a lot of weight, which is sad because people keep asking if I am sick or something...' Uh oh, is there an emergency exit around? ...

The past year was something of a golden period for writing for me. For those who came in late (or not following me on  Facebook page ), I had a big writing year.  I finished the most epic science fiction book this year titled Ragnarok . The book will be released this August or September. A graphic novel titled  Agatya is set to release immediately after that. Agatya is a book about the last line of defence between Heaven and Hell. That's two fictional releases back to back. There is one more technical book coming out soon (no release planned). And finally a short film based on a Short Story from this blog. (Read  Original Ginger Chai  if you are in that sort of thing) I am writing a lot in the past year and that was a shameless marketing plug for my  Facebook page . With all these books and releases I had a big writing year behind me since last May. I was writing and editing most of the time. And as with any norma...

In olden days India was prosperous, people where happy to get one langot (a horrible undergarment) and a dhoti (a even horrible over garment) but then the British could not see it through and with that they brought ships and ships full of zippers, pant buttons and clothes. When the freedom struggle ended, the Brits left shamed and angry and to take revenge left the final nail in the coffin, the fashionable clothes. It was a fitting revenge, the untamed world now knew shame and pants. It was a slow poison for the destruction of the greatest Indus valley civilisation. A slow depression that would bring with it, new clothes, trends and horrible accessories. The new trends bring with it scary moments, how many times have you been asked by the barber carrying the sharp razor, "Would you like to try strawberry face cream?" he politely asked. I stared at him, eye the razor. Every female you meet in your life, your mother, your sister and your girlfriend or your wife wil...

I weight in three digits. Probably not as fat as Tanmay Bhatt but still not as slim as Arjun Kapoor. I fall somewhere in between. When you are fat, you are eternally roasted with different people, most common includes the pregnancy joke (how many months pregnant are you, spoken by 3227 people since I started counting). There are people who take offend to that, there are some who do not. If you are someone who takes offend to that, I will suggest never travel to the top-four states in North. Perhaps if you are living in there, you do not know to respond to someone using expletives against you. While this issue was being dragged, one old man tried to  sneakily touch a girl in a flight , but how dare the girl? She went against our culture and disrespected the elder. When AIB started as a radio show, it was funny. Yes it was but I couldn't open it in office, it started with a NSFW tag with their B. The show was filled with crass against different things that was passed as comedy...

The human evolution is a constant race against boredom, men have for generations tried to overcome boredom is many ways possible. In olden days, they got bored, they build civilizations, big massive civilizations. The ancient Egyptians had pyramids, the Babylon build the hanging garden for people to hang out. People from far and wide come to visit the Taj Mahal, praising its divine beauty, not knowing that it was build after the wife died, thus partly in guilt. Rome was not build in a day, indication they were super bored. Then came the great barbarian evolution and they started raiding cities. Don't forget Atila the Hun who constantly attacked cities whenever he got free time. Alexander was super bored and he decided to conquer the entire world, but while these men where attacking cities and building civilizations, the women where thrown into a abyss of impending boredom. What would Mrs. Atila do when her husband was busy attacking Rome? Or What would the wives of the ...

- It is pathetic of a story - Over acting but we can ignore that considering the last alien was zoozoo no wait... Jadoo - An alien astronaut walks over a unknown planet stark naked? What their civilization is so immature that they can build massive spaceship but can't give astronauts spacesuits? That's protest. - So the alien planet nobody lies because they don't talk to each other. It must be one hell of a touchy feely planet. Wondering how they do group chats? - A reporter walks out of her own wedding by reading a letter. Where is attention to detail? You are a journalist!!!! - There is a spaceship standing next to her... a big large spaceship... and yet the 'reporter' becomes senti of the alien leaving her. And claims she has to make news for living. Worst news reporter ever. Or maybe working for Times of India - Over hype (probably because it was Amir Khan and then because of this hulla bullah) of a film that shouldn't do enough business. I thought KR...

1. Have I read anything you've written?  Lets start with the obvious, unless you have good taste in literature I would probably say no. But then if you have you not read anything at all, I don't think you have. Stop wasting my time and pick up my book.  2. How much money do you make?  That's plain rude. It is one thing to ask a CEO how much money he makes and completely different for a writer. Remember writing is a job like others. 3. Where do you get your ideas?  I have a magical crystal ball that churns out ideas every-time I want. See this is kind of stupidity is why we writers write. There is no extra organs in my body that churn out ideas nor do I have a shrine dedicated to getting ideas. So where do I get my ideas from? I take that as a compliment, stop staring. 4. Will you write my great story idea or  If you help me write my life story, I'll split the income with you after we sell the book?  Unless you are Shahrukh Khan, the chances ...

Did a Tweetathon on #MahabharatPersonalityTypes, these are people who live in todays world but act and behave like Mahabharata characters. What more personlity types do you want to see? Mention in comments below. [ View the story "Mahabharat Personality Types" on Storify ]

When I first stepped into London, I was a bit anxious. After being misinformed about almost everything about London and then Googling for ending hours here I was on in the heart of British Empire. Here are few things that are absurdly confusing (OK not absurd, maybe a cultural shock or maybe just absurd) in London. 1. They greet you with 'You Ok', 'Everything alright'. The people in London don't greet you 'Hello' or 'Hi', they say, 'You ok', or 'Everything alright'. Now that is fine in normal London sense of way but the moment someone asks me that, I am like, 'Stop face reading.' 'No everything is not alright, starting with this form of greeting.' 2. Chips are Fries and Crisps are Chips New Mucchad mascot for the blog. No that's true, you ask for Chips and they give you fries. Even in Mc. Donald's were universal code (OK maybe not universal) for Burger is, 'You want to make it a meal with frie...

A while back I moved to London. The transition was smooth, I packed a box of seven clean underwears, a packet of bakarwadi (it's a pune thing), few clothes and was on my way to the land of Queen (real one). It was a new experience altogether. First thing that stuck me was how many people had wrong advise about traveling to London from India. As goes the unspoken law of char log kya kahenge, my journey to London spread across the community of people I knew (and didn't know) and they had to meet me to talk to me. How do these people even communicate? Do they have some whatsapp group that we don't know about? Or do they like have weekly conference call to get status update from each other. "Oh my son just got a job with Xx salary, what about you, report." Anyways these people kept popping everywhere with advise in abundance. "Oh be careful about immigration officers at Heathrow airport. They provoke you," said one wise fellow, "They have a right ...

Is it ironic that the land who taught the world Kamasutra shy's away on mention of world 'Sex'? Is it ironic that the civilisation that portrayed woman as powerful, dominating and ruling over the men (Mahabharata, Shakuntala etc.) has modern woman fighting for the tag of 'item girls'? Isn't it ironic that the country that gave voting rights to woman on the day of its inception is filled with rape cases day in and out? Irony is part of Indian culture. Hypocrisy and irony are the two pillars on which the foundation of modern India is laid. Let's take an instance for the case of 'Sex education' in India. Here is the deal, sexual frustration is rampant across the country, considering the number of Item songs gaining popularity nowadays. The root cause of this, maybe is our attitude towards things like individualistic freedom, repression towards sex and the skewed concept of 'Indian culture'. So here are the list of things against Indian ...

It was one of those weeks in my house when my partner and I were too lazed out to go grocery shopping. Every passing day the number of onions, and tomatoes started depleting and we were slowly entering the dark era. Our maid gave a constant reminder of the upcoming apocalypse but since it was morning 7:30, a time before we normally wake up, all those warnings fell on deaf ears, nay on sleepy deaf ears. Finally, one fine day making a very inaudible noise she walked towards us and declared that the end of the world was here and she could not cook anything. At that precise moment, my mind went into a self-doubt mode on exactly who was the employee and who was the employee. But this was not the first time my mind went into the overdrive of self-doubt. A few weeks back, when my wife had gone to her native, our doorbell rang horribly five to six times, disturbing my sweet dreams of world domination. The people had almost started worshipping me in my dream when the doorbell kicked me ou...

All over the world, marriage is the holy union of two people who choose each other with mutual consent and decide to spend the entire life together. India, as with many other social norms, begs to differ in the definition. Tweet: Marriage is the horrible combination of Government, God and honeymoon packages. http://ctt.ec/_yeeR+ The following are the top ten reasons why people get married in India, and no love doesn't come in this list. 1. The 'marriageable' age is passing or has passed. There is a wide range of what is supposed to be a marriageable age. It could vary from 18 to 30 depending on who you believe in. 2. The sons of Mr. XYZ has got married recently in lavish ceremony Incidentally you were told the exact amount of insane money spend my the new daugther-in-law family to the last paise. 3. You are growing bald, fat or worst dark!!! Yep, you are physically deforming into a monster, apparently. 4. You are leaving out of city, state or country ...

According to certain media reports (do not know if these are paid or unpaid) only 56% of Bangaloreans voted yesterday. Using my super secret research team of ninjas, I set out the real reason why bangalore did not vote. My team of ninjas surveyed every part of bangalore in such a secrecy that no one came to know about it. Enlisting the top ten reasons why bangaloreans missed voting yesterday. 1. It was not a holiday in America. 2. They avoided traffic jam towards pooling booth. 3. Polling booth was far away from Infosys office 4. Polling booth was not inside forum mall. 5. There was no home delivery service. 6. The polling booth didn't have AC. Mall did. 7. Election timing clashed with gym appointment. 8. They had very urgent work in office. Manager promised pizza. 9. Last night's Biryani was too spicy. 10. Finally a four days long weekend, time to catch up on sleep that was missed. There you go. If you live under the rock and have woken up just...

"Arvind Kejriwal..." he began the sentence. Since this election has come up many of my friends are bitten by this new fever. All of the sudden, without any warning, without any notice they will begin the sentence taking name of their favorite politician (earlier the words were reserved for Sachin Tendulkar and Sehwag) "... Arvind Kejriwal was part of the system and has finally vowed to change it," my friend said proudly driving the unserviced vehicle on M.G. Road. "When was the last time you did a P.U.C.," I asked matter of factly because we were painting the town black. "I don't remember," he said, "My father must have done it before he gave me this car." "As I remember your father gave you this car almost seven years ago when we were in college, right?" I asked. "Yeah man," he said changing the topic, "But think what Arvind Kejriwal can do when we make him the Prime Minister of the country....

On a Sunday morning as I left the humble hug of my cosy 'rajai' (a cruel form of blanket that hypnotizes you to procrastinate) to engage in the oldest profession of humans, hunt for something to eat, every door along the way was tuned into some famous show.  By the time I reached my parking, I had listened to the complete title song in bits and pieces. To their credit, one house was watching Chota Bheem but thats not the topic of this post. Over the period of time the condition of Indian Television has deteriorated much worse than the concept of auto meter on streets of Delhi.  I had this crazy idea a couple of months back that I am going to turn into a perfect Indian. I replaced my toothpaste with Vicco Vajradanti, got a Chandrika soap and even used Chik Shampoo. During this phase I decided to abandon American television on and switch to Indian tele-serials only. Yes, that means no... wait for it... Star world HD, no HBO (gasp) and definitely no Star Movies HD (Suicida...