Funny Story: The Moment of Happiness

200Posts He glanced at the ink pen sitting on the writing table, with immense pride he picked it up. Vyomkesh was happy today, he quickly glanced at the table calendar, the red mark on the date 1st Jan 2010 made him smirk. Finally the day was here.
Finally the nine years of torment were over, his dear daughter turned 18 and the last of the palimony cheque.

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

The three mistakes of my life - Part II


The thing about mistakes is, you have to make it, to realize its a mistake. Because if you don't do it, it is not a mistake, because mistake is something that is seen after you make it.

Life is build on the carcasses of mistakes, where you lay down the crypt of one over another and build a big tower which is then called experience. There are many mistakes you do in your life, some which you do accidently, like praising the figure of your friends sister in front of him, some you do deliberately, like touching the wet paint on bench knowing that the paint is wet.

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Double Shots Part Drei

Take it with a pint of salt. All the normal laws of humanity go on vacation in the double shots inn. Earlier it was a film production, then a reality show and today... well you are about to find out. If you do like these shots, go for the other two as well. You will like it. Remember, take it with a pint of salt.
More shots here.



Being a daily reporter had its demerits. He never reached home on time, always ran a constant risk of his life and on top of that was paid peanuts.

But after ten years of his service as a field reporter, his golden chance had come today. He sat proudly in the Double Shots inn waiting for the editor-in-chief and the surprise.
He had heard about the retirement of his editor-in-chief, was he getting promoted? What was the surprise here that could not be shared in office?


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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

10 signs indicating the end of the world is near.

Its official now, the world will end soon, not in 2012 as the scientist are telling you but on some later generations. Using my intelligent and ossum brain, I have thought, thought and then after thinking a lot, thought some more and came up with 10 rock-solid signs that will shake you right here, right now.


Ideally I wanted to write the signs on a stone, but it was real heavy to carry from people to people, so I decided to use the ever expanding blog medium to write the signs. Also I am not some hair brained witch-doctor who ran out of space to write calender after 2012, stones have limited space.


Now, these signs are to be considered with an asterisk, means there is some text written in smallest font possible on earth which will give you an 'Oh' moment later in life. Please do not run naked on street if you find observe the sign, and no, running naked on street shouting 'Eureka' is not the qualification of a advance mathematician.

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Funny Friday Fiction 55: Late night

Todays guest on Funny Friday Fiction 55 (FFF 55) is the gamer Saurabh Panshikar from Stuff That I learnt today. The smiling face is a challenger and fighter, another victim of the cubicle conspiracy. Do read his interesting blog, you will enjoy it.

Wanna know more about the cubicle conspiracy? Feel you are a part of it? Follow blog.






Fiction-55 is a story told in 55 words or less. Choose a setting, choose the characters and write the story in 55 words or less.
Late night
She was a devil in disguise. Demanding as she was, she didn't let him sleep long nights. He wished he had more stamina to perform.
He hated her for this but she was an inevitable part of his life. He decided. A last try. Hopefully he'd never see her again!
His CA Final Exam.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank Sid, for the wonderful opportunity that he gave me so that I could yap on a blog other than mine. This is like a proof to some of my wise friends who tease me by saying I keep refreshing my blog page to increase the hit count! Take That!

Sid dude...

Keep up the good work! All the best.

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

When the girls dad is chasing you... run!!!

So it was way back in the year 2002, my 12th grade, I was sitting quietly on the 'katta', the very dirty place on the basketball grounds of Modern college where we used to hang out and go for 'bird' watching, now why was I sitting quietly is a different story altogether. You see, there was a pokhran testing going on in my stomach done by the last night over access chicken.

So there I was sitting quietly on the katta, praying to God that the results of the Pokhran test should not spill out at the wrong moment, when suddenly my friend came running around.

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Short Story: Parting ways


Funny thing, I just realized I never wrote a funny short story, which was quite surprising as Story is what I like writing and humor is what I do best (atleast I think so), but for some reason I do not write a short story with a fun thing and I wanted to know why, I realized writing humorous stories is a challenge that even I cannot take. Well, below is not some of my best work, I tried to stay focused but apparently couldn’t. No characters in this story are real, any resemblances to real characters is coincidental, I just put some Blogger friends names so I might get inspired but well… you tell me how it is.
Sreya was driving all the way to her friends house. As always Shruti was in trouble.
‘He has left again, Sreya,’ said Shruti between sob, ‘it was so obvious since beginning, he as just messing around. Its over girl, its over. I have nothing else to do now.’

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

The astrologer – A short story

Today I am not here, but have been invited on evansenseofthoughts by Avada Kedavra who asked me to write something for her blog. Avada is a excellent blogger with a great creativity and a great focus on her blog post. Do check out this ossum harry potter fan, who is stung by the splendor of crazy thought.

This is my first invitation to be the guest blogger on some other blog, so obviously am flattered and very excited. Yay. So I managed to pen down a Short Story as fast as I could and as it turns out, funny thing, I am also the first guest blogger post on her blog as well. Double yay.


The story is surely interesting about lost souls looking for closure. I betcha you will love it.

P.s. If you are blindly looking for the comment form to blindly write the comment, 'Too good', 'Excellent' and other Present-madam comments then for you, the comments on this post has been disabled. :D

Go comment on the post...

Sidtoons: Chamya-giri



Its been a while when I uploaded Chamya. Chamya was the cartoon I drew sitting in the classrooms in Second year (yeah thats the reason why my attendance is ossum that year)

Chamya represents youth, the glory days of college. Yeah looking back I do find the half pant guy cool, but sounds kiddish. Thought will share some old classics with you...



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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Funny Friday Fiction 55: Impression


Todays guest on Funny Friday Fiction 55 (FFF 55) is the sweet, simple and smart girl who has wandered into here by her thoughts. She is ossum Shilpa from my wandering thoughts.

 Fiction-55 is a story told in 55 words or less. Choose a setting, choose the characters and write the story in 55 words or less.












"She love cars! It should do the trick" , he thought while leaning over the brand new sports car.
She was coming towards him while smiling mischievously.

"It worked!! She seems impressed!!", his heartbeat got faster!!

She came closer, held his face near hers...
and whispered in his ear, " you know.... its my car!!"


You are all invited to participate in Funny Friday Flash Fiction 55, just send me a mail from your gmail (or blogger) id to siddhesh AT iamgod DOT in(Obviously replace the capital letters with symbols), and the week you want to publish your post.

Remember,
There is a funny story to tell in everything

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Short Story: Serial Killer

Caution: The following story is not meant for weak and timid mind. Readers discretion advised. If you get disturbed on reading the story, please stop reading immediately.
The day was nearly ending and I sat in the staff room closing my books for the day. Prof. Despande and Prof. Shantaram sat opposite to me discussing the latest evening news hitting the town.

‘Four victims in past two months, Mrs. Despande,’ said Prof. Shantaram.

‘I know, all girls. The serial killer is out there killing girls, we need to be careful,’ said Prof. Mrs. Despande, ‘I have asked my husband to pick our daughter from class and then me. No one leaves house alone.’
Prof. Shantaram exclaimed, ‘Tsk Tsk Tsk, the papers are saying that police has told every girl to stay indoors on a full moon night. The person seems to be killing the victims on a full moon night only.’

‘Should be one of your subjects, Prof. Pandhari,’ said Prof. Shantaram looking at me. Obviously it was a physiological case, which was my subject at the university.

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Happy unmarried?? well… almost.

When you are single, living alone and a woman in India, every passing day becomes a living nightmare for you. Every single man you bring in your house is a prospective ‘damad’ for your parents and every time you have to go to a friends marriage comes a great question, are you going to be the single lady who is going to be paroled by the Aunties who have been appointed to do the task of holy matrimony that the marriage sites or the great friend who attends all the marriages with someone. Darn life.


...
This is the new chapter on my new Blovel, a little Blog+novel experiment that I am coming up. Its the ultimate guy to life, relationships and dating. If you like funny stories, relationships and a light hearted humor get into the lifes of Rahu, Ketu and Shani who about to go on a journey to discover  the life along with the girls in their life.

When you are growing up, your family explains you that anything you do is bound to pound you in hell. You tell a lie, you go to hell. You drink beer, you go to hell, you kiss a girl, hell it is. Man, hell does seem kind of overfull.
But the more you grow up, all the things come back to you. You lie, yes you tell a lie, maybe for laziness, maybe for a leave, but you lie. People drink beer around you, you go for a sip, the next thing you know, you are a regular on a drinking bar. Kiss a girl…lets talk about it later. Now, the problem is, do these thing still take you to hell?
Well, this is a journey, a journey to understand life. A platform beyond right and wrong to understand love, life and relationship and trust me, this is going to be one hell of a ride.
You can hop on as followers to enjoy the ride. :)

Go read...

P.s. Obviously this post has no comments, if you like the story, drop a comment and do follow.
Cheers,

Sidtoons: Episode 6: The worlds first Vegetarian



Tired of daily hassles Bob made the greatest discovery for mankind before the wheel.

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

All in a days work

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 5; the fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind”
-Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)


The thing about working for some company is that, at the end of the day you are not so sure, if whatever you did the whole day worth it, at all!!!

You know that the job description is not such a big deal of what you have and the satisfaction rate is also not high, but obviously you are mentally programmed to do the same thing (unless of-course you are born with the golden spoon in that case you are not reading this blog) and have nothing else in life to do.

There are some  job description in life which are too ossum to announce proudly, like the ‘Imperial guard to the emperor’ or even ‘The Bus conductor,’ yeah, you heard it right, ‘The bus conductor,’ man, mess with this guy for change and you are never going to reach your designation. Psst. I even had a thought of begging on the traffic signal to get some change for the guy as I was thrown out of two buses consecutively, but then took a taxi. I don't have the job to be as proud as the bus conductor as my job is… ha ha… Please,

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Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

10 Subtle signs that winter has began

There are certain things that are really really uncertain in our life. Like if you go to meet someone in the afternoon, should you or should you not ring the doorbell.

You ring the doorbell and two flats from opposite wing open the door, swear at you for disturbing their sleep... hello, blame the doorbell, blame the maniac person who installed such a loud doorbell and still not opening the door, but no, as the law of the universal idiot (I have submitted the law to the authority of laws, but they replied that they listen to only people who the law is not applicable...gaah, not me) you get blamed for disturbing the sleep.


Well, then don't ring the bell, softly knock on the door, the house owner will never open the door, but the society watchman will eye you suspiciously as if you are a distant relative of Osama. Hello, the lady has called me, I have no intentions of waking up the kumbhakaran. Gaah.

Or like if its 11:00 O' Clock in the morning, what should you wish, Good morning or good afternoon? Because, when you wish your boss 'Good afternoon,' he replies, 'Is it noon so soon?,' and when you say 'Good morning,' he says, 'So your morning has not yet ended?'

Uncertainty, nothing else.

There is one more thing, that is uncertain in your life is, when exactly winter starts?

You have a brand new leather jacket which you want to show-off, you proudly wear it in the officer and the first girl who meets you says, 'Are you feeling cold? Winter has not started yet?'



Oh Damm, don't ever accept you are feeling cold in front of the girl, then she will give you the look of disgust and the aura of I-am-stronger-than-you. Damm oh Damm oh Damm.

'No just feeling sick,' you reply, thanking God that you did not listen to Gandhiji from history textbook.

Then you quickly move into toilet and remove the jacket and carry it along, now, if you carry the jacket it becomes a big pain in on your ass arm. You have to carry it with you everywhere, can't sneak out of office when no one notices.

So what is the solution? Dhan da dan... Folution is there...:D

I have found out 10 definate signs that indicate winter has becan, if you see more than 5 signs around you...ta da... your ossum jacket is going to get praised.

The 10 signs are...at your service, ladies and gentlemen...



  1. It takes Harry Potter's wand for the hair oil to pour out from the bottle, otherwise its wastage of your money.
  2. The smoke coming out of your mouth is definately not the cigarate you smoked ten minutes ago.
  3. Hankerchief are on sale in Big Bazar.
  4. All of the sudden girls wearing Small Skirt, sleeve-less,back-less, neck-less, top-less and God-knows-what-all less vanish from the street. (pardon me but I am not too much in 'touch' with the nomenclature of the fashion industry.)
  5. The tickets to the next Mallika Sheravat movie are houseful (This should not be considered a definite sign in multiplexes)
  6. What you thought was a dead deer on the shoulder of your female friend, turns out to be the latest brainstorm of the fashion industry.
  7. After selling pens, blazers, pain relief creams you see Ab sr. selling cold creams on TV
  8. Your Gf refuses going for the second round of ice cream (Sadly first round is there)
  9. You suddenly have a bathroom-phobia, where your whole body shivers while entering your bathroom (obviously I am not talking about Himayala returned, rubber body yoga practitioners I mean us, Mango-People)
  10. Suddenly you see people shamelessly cleaning their nose in office toilateries without bothering at the disgusted look on your face as you try to wash your hands besides them.


There now you know when it is safe to come out with your leather jacket, if only I had such ossum and definite guide a month ago, a shameful day would be saved.

The author bears no responsibilty of your actions on seeing the signs. The signs may differ for every individual, do not come to trash the author (that would be me), it pains more in winter. Do not rely of these signs if you are feeling cold, go fetch a sweater.

And yay, winter is here.

Images Courtesy:
http://iconguy.com

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Cheers,
Sid
P.s. I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

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