Monday, January 30, 2012

India is a developing country…. someone, somewhere is always developing something!!!

In the geography class when the teacher used to tell, "India is a developing country," for a moment I was confused, what is developed country I asked. She fumbled with her saree and explained something that was nowhere closed to the answer very confidently.

Still however, I never understood the meaning of the sentence and that was the B.W. era, aka Before Wikipedia in fact it was Before Internet era, so there was no one other than my school text book who could give me this information. I remember walking sadly home, that why my country is still developing when it dawned on me. It occurred to be when I was walking home one day from school and I fell in a ditch dug  on the road. I could have sworn that the ditch did not exist fifteen minutes before, no one believed me.

However it dawned me inside the ditch that, India is a developing country because someone somewhere is always developing something. It was uncanny. The street outside my house was dug open 17 times in 4 months, yes I kept count. It was never the same person, first it was the electricity department, then it was the telephone department, then it was someone else who had no idea why he was digging it. After some days I figured, there was a hidden treasure buried somewhere nearby and so when at night the workers left for the day, I entered the trench to check if there was any buried treasure, but apart from layers and layers of mud found none.

There are some places which are dug up in your normal routes. During my junior college days, I used to travel via the local train till the Pune Station. On the way we met this salesman who used to climb with us at the Pune Junction and get down at the Pimpri Station. The man lacked serious patience, to the extend he couldn't wait 15 secs for train to stop and always used to jump as soon as it slowed down on the railways station.

He had no name, atleast we never asked him his name. But he was always there at the Pune station on time to catch the local train at 3:45. That day also he got into the train exactly as expected and was waiting in his customary style at the door to get down at the Pimpri railway station. As the station drew close, as his usual habit, he jumped out of the train and ran parallel to it for few secs, but something he had never expected happened before his eyes. There was some construction work going on the railway platform and he couldn't control his running, wham, crash and bang. The man fell into the big ditch that was dug on the railway platform. His routine was shaken by the incident, so were his nerves.

India is a developing country, if you observe the political manifesto of the local member of parliament, they are always filled with construction work. They also promise more construction work if you promise to vote them, indicating that they are developing this country.

Bridges are being constructed everywhere and the time taken to build a bridge is same as the time taken for election, but that topic for another day. Construction are now part and parcel of life in India. One fine winter morning you are rushing to office thinking of all the good things you are going to explain in the meeting, when a big board on the road tells you to take a ‘detour’. A ride for 5 minutes turns a ride of 15 minutes.

The new wave of smart phones have taken the chair of weapons of mass destraction on the street. In a group of 3 people walking, 1 of them is on the call, the other one fumbling with the phone while the third one is simply not sure why he is with the two. One advantage of these trenches are people now pay attention on the street rather in the phone.

Said my friend, the iPhone addict, “It was horrible man… too horrible of an experience. While walking towards your house I was busy tweeting when I feel into the dug trench outside your gate. For a moment I thought…. for a moment I thought…”

Poor guy, I said to myself, I had named the trench Krish 2 years back, now this was Krish part 4 (yes, I name trenches, we all get bored sometimes, don’t we?) The poor guy was traumatized by the incident,

“Horrible horrible experience…,” he said, “For a moment I thought, my iPhone will shatter into pieces.”

He said hugging the iPhone tightly, “If only they make an app about warning people of the dug up trenches.”

“They did it long back dude, its called Eyes and it is installed in your head. What were you tweeting about anyways?”

“I was tweeting about the 4th anniversary of the trench…” he replied simply.

But then again, India is a developing country, people are developing every inch of it. One day it is a village, the next day a fully dug out city full of trenches. We are just 60 years old and its not easy developing such a large country overnight. Whatever romans will say, India cannot be build in a day.  Can it?

Saturday, January 21, 2012

The False review of the New Samsung Omnia W

Samsung Omnia W Score on SidoScope (See Below)
When was the last time Microsoft made people happy? Well, I don't remember exactly and being a serial Microsoft hater I don't want to remember. Honestly, I don't think the company is bad, I just think they design bad software but that is ok, we all have done that, but worst part is they don't accept it.

Technological innovation has nothing to do with business and the fact that they do business on technology is bad. When Samsung Omnia reached my doorstep, I took it as a sign from the universe that something is changing. Now lets face it, Apple is Apple they are good at something, they don't do it for free. Google in turn are slow and steady, they believe in giving it all for free, who can blame them actually?

So I got Samsung Omnia W in my hand, I kept an open mind. I was not going to judge the windows mobile based on its big brother, windows. Ofcourse every family has a bad apple? Isn't it? (Apple here refers to the fruit which is grown using chemicals in a farm, not the electronic device company which manufacturers phones)

A disclaimer, just to be clear, if you are looking for a suitable life partner for your other electronic equipment you can look-up the technical specifications of the phone go to some other site like gsmarena.

The first impression of Omnia is wow, yes Wow, the UI is much better than Android UI (which is what I do not know, considering there are many launchers out there.) Yes, the phone has a much better UI specially if you compare it with other normal phones and some smart phones.

Microsoft has determined to be the iPhone killer to the extend that the phone refuses to scroll vertically. Every scrolling is done horizontally. The UI is the same as Zune (the alleged iPod killer, don't laugh!!!). The phone is simple to operate on with clearly marked big icons indicating Phone, Messaging and other things.

One bad thing about the phone is no expandable memory, so if you already are using a smart phone, transferring that data is a big pain in the... backside. Talking about transferring, the phone does not detect any Android device while connecting via Bluetooth, no idea why. Connecting to PC is also a pain, because it demands you install Zune counterpart on your PC before it is connected (Maybe this is a iPhone thingy, but then I did not like iTunes either).

The UI is very appreciable in terms of impressing you for the first time, however, after using it for a few days you get weary of it. The shine drops down and you carry in your hand a phone that refuses to connect to any PC without its Zune software, cannot expand memory card and also cannot connect to other smart phones via Bluetooth. But as my girlfriend points out, I am biased about the phone because I am having an affair with Android phones (3 so far), maybe yes, so that's why this is actually a false review of Samsung Omnia W.

All in all, Samsung Omnia W is a good smart phone for those who want to use a smart phone or blackberry but are not smart enough to configure it according to their needs. It is a welcome change from the traditional Java and Symbian mobile operating system, but has a long way to go if it is comparable with Android or iOs.

Samsung is busy keeping its commitment to install every mobile operating system they can get their hands-on on their devices and Omnia W marks the threshold of a generation of Omnia series which would run Windows on Samsung phones.

Its a Saturday and you have nothing to do, hope you enjoyed this false review about Samsung Omnia.

Enjoy the weekend.

P.s. Pictures clicked by the greatest photographer of the century, me.

The Review Scale of Sidoscope:

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Growing up is fun? Well, almost.

The oldest memory I have of the one dream since childhood was to grow up. If someone would ask me why exactly did I wanted to grow up, I am sure I could not answer it. Why exactly I wanted to grow up, I have no idea, but Ill tell you its not pretty.

They say, age brings wisdom, I say they lie. Age just brings you better excuses to things. Every year you live in this world, you adopt to its crazy sense, you lie for living. You give our excuses for things. Some excuses are very common, like act your age or it is against religion or it is against humans but excuses are there.
If being 25 is halfway there, on 26 I have crossed the threshold to what? I am not sure. Although however you convince people, you can handle it, they don't believe you. While growing up, you are led to believe that there would be a time when you are old enough, people stop telling you what to do.
Turns out, just like other childhood myths like girls are not mean little girls, drinking milk is good for your health, the myth of people not telling you what to do does not cease to stop. It in fact accelerates. 
When you are small, its just your parents who have exclusive rights over you. They tell you what to, and more importantly they tell you what not to do. Ideally, these exclusive rights, should reduce over the time, but clearly they don't. Infact the entire world gets the right to tell you what to do and what not to do. Relatives are always there if you like them or no, but now every third person you meet has an advise for you.
'Don't post so much on Facebook,' 'Ohno, don't change your job so soon,'  'hey, you working in the same company for 2 years, sad' 'It is not good staying in company late,' 'You won't get promotion if you don't stay late'
I mean for Godsake, some of them even don't make sense. People who have never worked for a single day in their life suddenly start talking about job advise. Your distant relative who maintains a long distance with her own husband tells you that her choice for your wife is the best one in the world. Everyone has something to tell you as if multiple travelling salesman banged with a wikipedia.
You are always amazed in childhood about how knowledgeable the adults are, but now that you are nearly there, you realize most of it is made up stuff. There are no ten people who are interested in what you do. No one out there who actually give a freaking damm about anything. Grownup makes things up like the old high school history teacher who pretends to answer your question with some more confusing facts leaving you with more confusion that ever.
By the time you are 26 however you are now well versed in the new found world of grownups. Where everything you say is going to be debunked. There will be a conflict in everyone you meet about if you are grown up or no. 
Sadly, you won't have an answer to it too. But if I connect the dots and look at the life going back, I am supposed to say today, that I learned a lot. Actually, I didn't. But I have hopes, the little me who set out on the journey in the craziest planet in the galaxy born in the craziest species 26 years ago has fared well. I did achieve what I set out for, but more importantly I have grown up... almost. Or that I would like to believe.
P.s. This is a tradition on Sidoscope, since 3 years, I start writing a post at 11:15 and Post it at 12:00, so it can be random, garbage or even stupid... but then aren't they all?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your beheading... I mean, wedding

When you are of a certain age, certain things start happening around you. You are a male who has crossed the boundaries of 25, you see females from your school (whom once you used to hit) have uploaded a cute picture of them holding a baby on Facebook. You say nothing when THAT girl for whom you literally skipped your degree education for changes her relationship status to ‘Married’, you control your emotions when the girl who was once happy go lucky is seen on Facebook with a fake smile in the arms of an equally fake man. But all these emotions run lose, when it happens, the dreaded moment of it all… an invitation to the wedding of your fellow male friend.

You know its over, the end of the world is near because at that moment, the wedding invitation brings with it many many questions, some of which are better not answered.

An invitation to a wedding invokes more trouble than a summons to a court. There are two forms of an invitation, one that comes at your parents house and other that you can take your girlfriend with. While the former puts you in the merciless hands of the mother, who questions your growth, the later puts you in the merciless hands of your future wife, who questions your.. well... growth.

This invitation is better if it comes when you are not around, or you will find yourself in a very awkward room, filled with very awkward people talking about very awkward stuff. The real awkwardness comes once they leave the room (or whichever planet they are from).

“So, XYZ is getting married, did you see?” your mom.

“Is it, good,” as if I care.

“His parents are so lucky, he has given so much happiness to his parents. The girl is from their planet, caste, species blah blah blah (enter a obsene amount of description for the girl). The couple looks so perfect, see…” your mom.

“Okie…” still as if I care.

“See, he is so settled in life and has everything now. When will you get settled….” and so it begins the lecture on how the xyz person is good and how bad you are. So good that he is ready to tie a blindfold and stick with any girl his parents choose.

Holy Cow!!! Didn’t see that coming, didja?

Ideally, the boy is ideal. One fine day I come home only to find my mom saying, “Empty your comics cupboard,” she says.

Now this comics cupboard has a history in making ok, I am collecting graphic novels since I was in 9th standard. I saved pocket money, did odd jobs (distributing newspaper, working as a cyber cafe attendent and so on) just to collect these graphic novels. There was a time when this collection of graphic novels increased beyond any normal human storage proportion. My dad was of the belief that the comics are worthless waste of paper and refused to have them stored in the house. After a lot of argument, threats and promises, I was given an old steel wooden cupboard to keep my comics. Oh how magnificient I filled it, 8 big rucksack  full of books neatly stacked, classified and categorized.

But all of the sudden, “Empty the comics cupboard.” Even before I was coming to terms with the command thrown, she went ahead and pulled those 8 rucksacks out. Now this cupboard also had some secrets, which I won’t share on a public forum. Lets just say in my teens I was collecting something more than comics.

“This ABC is getting married and we are giving him the cupboard in his new house…” she replied proudly. So proud are the parents in emptying the cupboard of their own son to make sure it looks pretty in the house of someone elses son, without even consulting the one person in the whole world who is using it. There is a urban legend of the only man who was so really free, who turned down an invitation to a wedding without giving an excuse. I am yet to meet this man. None of us are.

There is a serious question in marriage, do I give condolenses or congradulations? I never understand. If you look at the bride and groom, they don’t even look happy. They just sit there as a decorated doll smiling as widely and fakely as possible. The bride is happy, she is more pretty than the prettiest girl in the room, the groom is happy with the prospect of honeymoon tonight, but not as a pair, as individual. Even if there was some other bride sitting there, the groom would be similar happy only.

The wedding invitations invade everywhere, you find them on the dinner table. They irritate you more while having dinner, more than the toilet cleaning commercials who are timed perfectly when I eat the morsel. They are there on the shoe rack, they are there when I need a piece of paper to note down an important number. One fine day they reached the email inbox, out of the blue.

I was busy doing some important work of editing the Wikipedia article when it happened, an email invitation.

Dear All,

It is with immense pleasure I invite you to the gracious ceremony of my marriage. The wedding is happening in a land far far away and I don’t expect you to come anyways. This is a humble notice to the jerks that I am no longer single, so stop hitting on me. I anyways am irritated by you all for 5 days a week and hence I did not bother printing you a wedding card as well. Come with your family so that I can rub it in their face how pretty I am and how you were hitting on me.

Do come. Attached is the scanned copy of my wedding card which I shamelessly used the office scanner to scan it.



Oh the horror, and then one fine day on Facebook. You login to Facebook to have a quick glance of who is still single when it pops up,

You have 1 event invitation from MNO

Subject: My wedding in Hell

Seriously, I was so bored doing this wedding stuff that I decided to invite you on Facebook. Yeah, do come along to see my wife, whom I have myself seen only twice and hope my eyes are right. No gifts please, we don’t have patience and place to keep those cooker, ganesh idols, table fans and photo frames. Bye for now, have to get back to those crops who are whitering.

RSVP: Yes. No. Go to hell

Wedding invitations who would have thought? Oh yes and I got 19 wedding invitations on 1st of Jan, imagine how much excitement would be in 2012. Yeah right.

P.s. No I am not getting married and you are not invited.
P.p.s. Don't mind me if you are getting marriage, these are my views, I am not telling you to listen to them.

Have you read my book yet?

Have you read my book yet?
An epic adventure across space and time