Monday, February 27, 2012

This blogger in need is stupid indeed.

Been running a bit slow here but hello there. Have you observed the world change around lately? Well obviously science of stupidity is on vacation but thats hardly the news. Stupidity is obviously on the rise with more and more people crossing the stupidity threshold day by day, soon stupidity will be given a religious status by the stupid people (duh uh).

Ok alright, I admit, I am in a writers block, there I said it. Yes, I am in a writers block. There are two possibilities that could have caused that either I was kidnapped by aliens experimented (sexually) and then brain washed, or I may have witnessed a murder and repressed the memory. Whichever it is, clearly the creative idea flow is consistent, only stringing them together is a problem.

I have tried acupressure (ouch, ouch, ouch), Ayurveda churan (which tasted like... never mind...), I went for meditation (only my teacher realized half an hour later and me half an hour plus one minute later that I went to sleep meditating) and finally giving up all hope, I went with the tried and tested therapy used by multiple bloggers across the globe, I banged by head on the wall. The wall cracked.

Everyone believed there was hope left until yesterday my family saw me smashing tomatoes with a hammer. Yeah well, that was the time I decided to call it quits, took my laptop. Rearranged the entire room, shifted my table, shifted the cupboard, shifted my bed until my entire room was now reverse facing the wall. That gave me immense pleasure and I starting typing.

Multiple thoughts flowing in, maybe it was vastu-dosh (I would like to pretend that, even if I don't know what it means) or maybe I was waiting for Nokia to release a 41 MP phone in the era when people are talking about smart-phones, processing power, multitasking Nokia is still stuck in the age old mobile concept of a camera phone, alright its a 41 mp camera phone but who is going to use it? Aah but as I said stupidity is on the rise and there will be customers who will buy the phone. So lets wait at that.

There were election conducted in our area and multiple reactions from multiple candidates. Few candidates alleged that it was cheating, it was no doubt that the loser candidates who alleged that. It was funny seeing them keep a straight face and trying not to accept defeat.

You won't believe the happiness I am feeling as I reached the end of this blog post. I managed to write such a big blog post. I am actually crying out of happiness. Support this blogger in need, send in your valuable comments about other things you can use (voodoo, Rekhi) to smash this writers block and let the ideas flow. Comment Ok.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Black And White

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a- Ton 24; the Twenty-Fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is BLACK AND WHITE.
He was called the Rook, his real name long forgotten in the dunes of time. He kept asking since childhood, Why me? No one had the answer. No one cared to answer him.
Any normal person would be scared to walk the blackest corridor at the odd hour of the night but he had no fear. He kept asking since childhood, Why me? No one had the answer. No one dared to answer him.

The sudden light from the vehicle could blind any normal person, but he kept walking.Why me? He asked everyone till his voice hurt, no one had an answer for him no one except,
"Rumi... Father Rumi," his cold rough voice echoed in the darkness.
"Who is it?" Rumi could not see him in dark, "Come forward."

"I have come, Rumi, come back to see you..." he said, "Do you recognize me, Rumi?"
"Holy..." Rumi exclaimed, "What devilry is this? Is that you rook? But I thought...." Rumi collapsed on the stairs as if he had seen a ghost, indeed he had.
"Tell me where is he Rumi?" asked the Rook, "I have to find him..."

His childhood was burned by the chemical reaction that his eyes were exposed to. The little child working in the lab of a mad scientist, had no escape. He was used as guinea pig and as a lab rat for countless drug trials. He was paraded like a object in front of all the clients. His eyes turned sore till they bled of shame and fear, until there was no color left in his eyes anymore. All he could see was black and white.

The science was gripping, right from the unexplained drug trials to advance bio-weaponry. The lab was funded by some shady revolutionaries and extremist around the world.

Rumi fumbled on the stairs for a while and turned on the mobile torch towards the voice, "Hera...." he exclaimed, "What has happened to you?"
"Something which he will like..." exclaimed the rook, "Where is he?"
"They left you for the dead, my son, nothing I could do, I was helpless..." Rumi said.
"Its ok, father," The rook said, "Just tell me where he is..."

"What is this noise?" a stern voice from inside disturbed their conversation. A thin bald man stepped outside in the dark, "Who are you talking to Rumi?"
"He is talking to me, master..." the Rook exclaimed.
"You... you... you are alive?" asked the mad scientist, "But thats impossible, you died in that experiment... you died of chemical poisoning..."
"Yes indeed I did," smiled the rook as he stepped out in the light, "This is how I look nowadays..."

The mad scientist stomach clenched at the sight. The skin of the rook was pale white in color and his hair was long and jet black in color. "This is the color of the dead, master..." he smiled with a darkened grin, "But you know I did not die that day. I was resurrected to be free. I kept asking since childhood, Why me? Why did you enslave me for your mad experiments and no one answered. Finally, I found someone who did answer me and a better answer. Your experiments gave me something that no human has ever found, your experiments gave me freedom. Freedom from everything that chains human, it gave me freedom from life, freedom from death and it gave me the freedom from the biggest prison of all time, freedom from time. I have become immortal, thanks to you, master."

"You... you succeed...." asked the scientist, "Let me examine you... the experiment was success, I created an immortality serum..."
"No you didn't, I did," the rook smiled, "I perfected your chemicals and finished your experiment myself. I may look like a black and white ugly monster but I am not like you. I can take my revenge on you anytime I want now but I won't. I will let you suffer the pain of old age and I will visit you again to remind you what you have lost. Enjoy your colorful life, master, while I enjoy my black and white..."

Life is not always about good and evil. About black and white, for most part it is ruled by the one that is gray. He vanished into thin air to travel back in time to ask the question he always wanted an answer for, why me?

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a- Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Traff*cked: That Time when your life is going nowhere, neither is anyone else.

Picture by Siddhesh Kabe, Gurgaon Flyover
In our entire life we identify two places that are of importance to our existence, one is called home, the other work. One place gives you peace while the other gives you money. The entire 80-90 years of a humans life is spend travelling between these two places and inventing new ways of doing it. The 60 million years of human history is filled with people going to earn money at work losing their peace, then returning home to get that peace and lose the money earned. The cycle of life continous.

As technology progressed so did mans necessity to create bigger and better blunder in life. Its uncanny, earlier we used make mistakes in b&w, then in technocolor, now in full blown 3D.

Human stupidity reaches its pinnacle during the 20 minutes of life, where life stops. The traffic jam consumes all the 7 sins of mankind in a single blow. Everything comes to a stand still, waiting for the world to move on. Did the world stop revolving, you wonder?

Traffic jam is the art of life. It is the butter between breads of life, one fine day the devious plan to drive home early to catch the twenty twenty series ongoing with the arch nemisis is foiled by the giant traffic jam. We learn a lot in traffic jam, for one we learn the importance of radio in a car which otherwise keeps entertaining while the driver is busy oogling on the street.

You get time out of your daily like to ponder over the largest question hauting humanity since the dawn of civilization, ‘Why does mickey mouse wear only pants and no shirt, while Donald Duck wears only shirt and no pants…’

Than there are those who think standing in a queue is beneath them. They hate waiting and have no idea which lane to go through in life. There is a long queue waiting for the traffic to clear out, suddenly in the opposite lane driving his entire life in wrong side of the street. “Oh cmon man, what are we some sort of fools?” You exclaim. After a while that illiterate realizes that traffic jam is clearled long back and now the entire traffic is stalled due to his vehicle.

The honkers like to play the complete music sympony with their horns in the middle of the street. Do they honestly believe that their horns have magical powers that someone honking loudly all vehicles will clear the street?

The tetris lower kids now driving two wheelers start their game of tetris inside the traffic jam. These riders are expert in finding gaps inside the traffic jam, they will squeeze between two cars with minimum distance and try to reach the opening in front. Do they get some prize at the opening or no I am not sure. There was this driver who practically danced inside a traffic jam to get his vehicle out. He succedded. I had a genius idea of awarding a 100 rs note to a driver who managed to squeeze his bike inside the 4 lane street but due to traffic, I could not open the door.

When I used to carpool to office, during rush hour, my carpool partner asked me to rush home, I wondered why, but I told him, it is difficult as there is a lot of traffic. I duly put on the AC to escape from the dust on the street when the partner said, ‘Sorry’ and turned the entire car into the gas chamber. Oh the horror.

Traffic jam is now part of life, it is like rain or bank holidays or a Shahrukh Khan film, you actually don’t like it but then get used to it. If one day you reach home without getting stuck in a traffic jam, you feel uneasy. As if someone has removed a part of you brutually.

Those few minutes of your life where nothing is moving, actually a lot many things are moving inside your head. It is sometimes good to slow down the pace of life and take a little break to get trapped in a traffic jam. Maybe have a cadbury or a cosy talk with someone. Who knows, that moment when nothing is moving, your life might move ahead?

Have you read my book yet?

Have you read my book yet?
An epic adventure across space and time