Skip to main content

Traff*cked: That Time when your life is going nowhere, neither is anyone else.

Picture by Siddhesh Kabe, Gurgaon Flyover
In our entire life we identify two places that are of importance to our existence, one is called home, the other work. One place gives you peace while the other gives you money. The entire 80-90 years of a humans life is spend travelling between these two places and inventing new ways of doing it. The 60 million years of human history is filled with people going to earn money at work losing their peace, then returning home to get that peace and lose the money earned. The cycle of life continous.

As technology progressed so did mans necessity to create bigger and better blunder in life. Its uncanny, earlier we used make mistakes in b&w, then in technocolor, now in full blown 3D.

Human stupidity reaches its pinnacle during the 20 minutes of life, where life stops. The traffic jam consumes all the 7 sins of mankind in a single blow. Everything comes to a stand still, waiting for the world to move on. Did the world stop revolving, you wonder?

Traffic jam is the art of life. It is the butter between breads of life, one fine day the devious plan to drive home early to catch the twenty twenty series ongoing with the arch nemisis is foiled by the giant traffic jam. We learn a lot in traffic jam, for one we learn the importance of radio in a car which otherwise keeps entertaining while the driver is busy oogling on the street.

You get time out of your daily like to ponder over the largest question hauting humanity since the dawn of civilization, ‘Why does mickey mouse wear only pants and no shirt, while Donald Duck wears only shirt and no pants…’

Than there are those who think standing in a queue is beneath them. They hate waiting and have no idea which lane to go through in life. There is a long queue waiting for the traffic to clear out, suddenly in the opposite lane driving his entire life in wrong side of the street. “Oh cmon man, what are we some sort of fools?” You exclaim. After a while that illiterate realizes that traffic jam is clearled long back and now the entire traffic is stalled due to his vehicle.

The honkers like to play the complete music sympony with their horns in the middle of the street. Do they honestly believe that their horns have magical powers that someone honking loudly all vehicles will clear the street?

The tetris lower kids now driving two wheelers start their game of tetris inside the traffic jam. These riders are expert in finding gaps inside the traffic jam, they will squeeze between two cars with minimum distance and try to reach the opening in front. Do they get some prize at the opening or no I am not sure. There was this driver who practically danced inside a traffic jam to get his vehicle out. He succedded. I had a genius idea of awarding a 100 rs note to a driver who managed to squeeze his bike inside the 4 lane street but due to traffic, I could not open the door.

When I used to carpool to office, during rush hour, my carpool partner asked me to rush home, I wondered why, but I told him, it is difficult as there is a lot of traffic. I duly put on the AC to escape from the dust on the street when the partner said, ‘Sorry’ and turned the entire car into the gas chamber. Oh the horror.

Traffic jam is now part of life, it is like rain or bank holidays or a Shahrukh Khan film, you actually don’t like it but then get used to it. If one day you reach home without getting stuck in a traffic jam, you feel uneasy. As if someone has removed a part of you brutually.

Those few minutes of your life where nothing is moving, actually a lot many things are moving inside your head. It is sometimes good to slow down the pace of life and take a little break to get trapped in a traffic jam. Maybe have a cadbury or a cosy talk with someone. Who knows, that moment when nothing is moving, your life might move ahead?

Comments

Post a Comment

What do you think about the post? Have your say, like, dislike or even hate me. Tell me.

You might also want to Subscribe to RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter (@sidoscope) or on facebook

I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Popular posts from this blog

Pinch Boxing

"Whatcha doing?" I asked her as she stood in a questionable position in the jogger's park, early morning. How early? Even the slum dwellers had not come out on the streets for their morning potty. 'I am practising a new form of defence,' she replied peacefully. 'Defense, that is interesting. Some trouble?' I quizzed. 'I met my old friends today over lunch then we went shopping, and in the evening we took coffee at CCD,' she started. 'So we were discussing relationships, she was telling how she has screwed her life and how practical she has become after her first breakup I haven't told anyone about my boyfriend, but it made me think of how foolish and stupid I am...' About time, don't you think? '..and how I am not doing anything about it, also they told me that I have lost a lot of weight, which is sad because people keep asking if I am sick or something...' Uh oh, is there an emergency exit around?

[Short Story] The Last Breath On Earth

A bug is a computer anomaly that is generated usually because of developer’s ignorance or environmental factors. The former is more prominent in computer programs. The term debugging means to find the cause for the bug and fixing it. The term debugging has a humorous origin. In 1947, Grace Murray Hopper was working on the Harvard University Mark II Aiken Relay Calculator. On the 9th of September, 1947, when the machine was experiencing problems, an investigation showed that there was a moth trapped between the points of Relay #70, in Panel F. The operators removed the moth and affixed it to the log. The word went out that they had "debugged" the machine and the term "debugging a computer program" was born. As the technology progresses it advances towards perfection and minimizes its flaws, unfortunately, this was not true for computers. The bugs and errors increased exponentially with the advancement of computers. What earlier was a mere moth trapped i

We used to build civilizations. Now we build shopping malls.

The human evolution is a constant race against boredom, men have for generations tried to overcome boredom is many ways possible. In olden days, they got bored, they build civilizations, big massive civilizations. The ancient Egyptians had pyramids, the Babylon build the hanging garden for people to hang out. People from far and wide come to visit the Taj Mahal, praising its divine beauty, not knowing that it was build after the wife died, thus partly in guilt. Rome was not build in a day, indication they were super bored. Then came the great barbarian evolution and they started raiding cities. Don't forget Atila the Hun who constantly attacked cities whenever he got free time. Alexander was super bored and he decided to conquer the entire world, but while these men where attacking cities and building civilizations, the women where thrown into a abyss of impending boredom. What would Mrs. Atila do when her husband was busy attacking Rome? Or What would the wives of the