The Valentine Pity Fry

There comes a time in every persons life when you loose complete hinge over reality. You refuse any human touch and the only existence of life in your room is the continuous snore under the blanket heard at constant frequency. Thus in the winter of 2010, I found myself suddenly waking to a disturbance. I have heard that there were mughal emperors who used to behead the people who disturbed their sleep, for fifteen seconds I wished I was one of them. But no, I wasn’t. Having lost touch with reality and human beings for three consecutive days, waking up to reality was not a good experience.

Here I was waking up after three days on a Sunday with a very bad headache (sleeping for 18 hours straight), a very foul smell (which considering my room was not cleaned in like a month was acceptable) and a very grumbling stomach.

It took me seven seconds to adjust to the surrounds and pin point the location to the disturbance, which was my Chinese Phone ringing at the top of its voice. Considering that for last three days I had given up on human contact, I let it ring even though it was disturbing me.

For few moments I considered taking a bath (I dare you to take a bath in Delhi winter) or going back to sleep. But the stomach had some other agenda, for the last three days it was finding out new ways to disturb my sleep indicating it needed input.

So, half sleepy I brushed by teeth and fumbled in the kitchen, only to find my supplies depleted. There were four pieces of bhendi (lady finger) in the cupboard but I was too bored to cook them. Other options included borrowing some food stuff from the neighbor (whom I shared the kitchen with) but I understood that since I finished her well cooked rice last time there was no way in hell, she would let me borrow food. After a lot of effort I did find two parle-g biscuits in the kitchen but that would not fulfill my stomach.

Thus exhausting all the options, I decided to step out in cold to eat food. Winter in Delhi is like a fairy tale, you wish it was far far away but it never was. One monkey cap and a sweater later I stepped out in the cold.

14 minutes later I was in the middle of the food mall trying to catch a seat as quietly as I could. The grand plan was foiled with the phone again ringing at the top of its voice like a three year old who has just learned the word Ba. The south-Indian waiter in the Chinese restaurant in the heart of Noida politely smiled trying to guess the amount I had in my wallet so that he can decide if he should give my order to the cook or the security guard.

As I said I wanted to get away from human touch as much as I could, so I ordered without looking at menu the first thing that came to my mind, ‘Fried rice’. The waiter explained to me that today they had a special offer going on with Fried rice was free Manchurian gravy. Just like the tail of a dog waggles at the prospect of a brand new car, my stomach leaped at the prospect of free gravy. Well it was a done deal, buy one get one free. Praising my luck I checked my phone, it was blazing with sound and my girlfriends name popped up on the screen.

As my mood was now improved (at the prospect of free gravy) I picked up the phone in happy mood. The instant the phone reached my ears, she yelled, ‘happy valentines day.’

Crash. Boom. Bang.

The wall around me burst, it was 14th February 2010, a valentines day. A bit wary I looked around me and lo, couples were enjoying the day of love on every other table except mine. So, the free gravy was actually a pity offering, as I was the single and unlikely to get a date (as I smelled horribly). I quietly gulped on my lunch and escaped back to my sleep.

Things happen, during the time between sleeps there is a big period while life happens. It happens to all of us, at some point or the other. While the whole world is enjoying life, you may yet enjoy the snores under the blanket. As for me, the world did not see me emerge till 16th February, what happened after that is between me, my blanket and Morpheus (the God of dreams).

Disclaimer: My record of sleeping is four days straight with a mandatory rest in between for seventeen minutes after every eight hours.

Disclaimer 2: This post was targeted for Valentines day but thanks to my writers block could not complete it.


2 comments

  1. Valentine or no valentine, good thing is you finished the article. Hope your block is over. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Shilpa,
    Thanks yaaa... u r a Motivator... :D yaaay my block is over

    ReplyDelete

What do you think about the post? Have your say, like, dislike or even hate me. Tell me.

You might also want to Subscribe to RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter (@sidoscope) or on facebook

I don't need weapon, I have a sharp tongue.

Home

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *