Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The year end list of things that happened: 2011

Oh what a year, what a year, i’ll tell you what a marvelous year. Never before in the history of human years we had so much to tell and share in a single year. Year 2010 ended in a abrupt way with the rise of terrorism and the increase in violence. However, still 2010 was much better than 2009 who barely managed to exist quietly. 

This year was legendary, many years down the years, there would be the legend of the year 2011 which survived the act of God as well as acts of Humans. Some would say, year 2011 was just packing up. Just like the simple overture before the final cressendo in an orchestra, 2011 was just giving us all the taste of freedom.

This year witnessed many ends, it saw the end of Harry Potter, it saw the end of tyrannacy of Gaddafi, it also saw the end of Osaba Bin Laden. Year 2011 brought with it something fresh, something unique. 2011 came with a perspective, that no longer do we need the information control.

It also brought with it the idea of a free world, the idea which is going forward in the 2012 with a bang. 2011 gave people hope, that someday I won’t have to look in the eyes of my child and say, ‘Sorry son, we humans have messed up this planet beyond repair and we give you this hell hole as it is. No we could not fix it for you…. not that we wanted too but we were busy paying taxes and minding our own business.’ 

Nope, right from tyrants being shot down and dictators pushed away from the chairs, 2011, also provoked the capitalists from their chair. Occupy LondonOccupy wall street and other Occupy protest made the world realized that people are still indebted in the free world.
If 2009 was the time for the terrorist and 2010 was the time for retrospection, 2011 was truly peoples era. Now we can look in the eyes of our kids and say, ‘Hey not that we did not try, we at-least tried changing the world.

Did the world change, no it didn’t, the Government did keep the straight face while attempting to ‘fix’ the problem, but even they knew, their time is up. It will take more than 365 days to fix the mess we are in but still, 2011 above all gave hope to millions, that there is hope left for humans, there are causes worth to fight for.We official beat the rabbits in their own game and produced babies faster than any species on the planet, we crossed 7 billion this year. 2011 witnessed that too. Congradulations humans.

Coming closer to home, for the first time in the last 40 years, the ruling party in India felt the power of people slapped on them using the same method they managed to gain reputation for so many years. Well, lets not retrospect on weather Janlokpal is good or no, let us think and consider how did lakhs of people step forward and actively took part in the protest. The TRPS of loksabha live have surpassed the TRPs of Kukkurmati ki Karambhari Kahani and people nowadays, if nothing else talk about civil responsibilites.

2011 also made the world smart with the smart phone users increased. It also saw the birth of Siri from the brain of Apple, Siri who has redefined smart phones like never before is the key to the future input methods. If Apple brought innovation with it, others were not behind, who kept bringing innovation again and again, 10 times cheaper than Apple. Aah, there were some whimsical moments, some bickering and some suing. Apple sued Samsung, Samsung Sued apple, Apple sued Motorola, Google sued apple, Microsoft sued someone, someone sued someone and so on.
Of-course, while the suits were busy suing each other, Siri was born, so was iPhone 4gs and Android Icream Sandwhich. In this process, personally, I got a Galaxy Tab from Samsung and met some real interesting 20 people, who also got the same from Samsung. Everyone had their own whimsy and own quality, however it was wonderful observing each and everyone of them. On Channel one, I had a chance to see the Innovation Summit first hand, always had the dream, this year made it true.

The year 2011 also saw Indians taking lead in the modern world, with Slut walksGay Lesbian Pride Parade and Flash mobs happening everywhere, that also showed that now feminists, LGBT and other supressed group would no longer be supressed.
While the governments where busy keeping their poker face, telling themself in mirror that everything was fine, an Act of God hit the planet. There were earthquakes in Japan, hitting the nuclear reactor very closely, Tsunami hitting the shores of new zealand forced the world leaders to ask, “Why this Kolaveri Di?”

The year saw some leaks in the form of Wikileaks, the two face of dimplomats turned black. Even thoughJulias Assange was under house arrest, his idea changed the world. Wearing the Guy Fawkes mask in the courtroom was not a clever idea, it was a message. End of World. Now.
This year also saw the freedom of information on steriods, even Santa Claus feared his naughty/nice list would get leaked on Wikileaks, so he signed an NDA with all his ElfsArm Chair Activist took control and shook the foundation of two democratic nation. Obviously, many governments woke up to threat of Social Media and Government of America introduced the SOPA while Indian Government followed suit with Censorship on internet. 2011 was an enabler, not the solution provider. It made sure people came on streets, it made sure things happened, now all that is left is the effect. Which it has conviniently left for 2012.

My brother tells me I also have to mention that Indian team won the world cup is an accomplishment for 2011, yeah well, I guess it is, never actually cared about cricket. But I did enjoy watching the India vs Pakistan match using social media, where my peers from Pakistan also cheered sportingly till the end of the match. This year also saw the birth of 4th generation of Bacchan, which the news channels will happily report for another 21 years.
2011 also did bring a change to the corporations with collaboration and Enterprise 2.0 terms floating around. It did manage to convince the suits that buckle up, its the informal who is going to lead the way. The world is still adjusting to the idea of collaborative business, many are still in denial, but it is finally left for 2012 to hit the final nail in the traditional business model.

So finally, 2011 is ending abruptly keeping many loose ends and many possibilities exist in the coming year. 2012 has a lot of pressure getting in, the year 2011 has by far set the bar too high for everyone. 2012 has another thing to worry about, something about end of the world in his reigns.
2011 has left many tasks unfinished, it gave us the taste of freedom, it gave us a glimpse of coming world, however the only thing 2011 asked for was participation. It promised changed only if we move forth and take charge. 2012 is coming with the final cresendo, finishing everything 2011 started. Can you hear it sing the Robert Frost?

‘But there are promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.’
That’s all from me this year, last post for 2011, see you next year.
Finally here is the summary of 2011, all the post done in this year on Sidoscope. You may enjoy them.

The Sidoscope Summary 2011:

December 2011
See you next year.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Intelligense People

They say time, tide and trains wait for no one. Althought many (mad) scientist will argue that time does wait for people and the calculation in the 4th dimension requires a nail cutter, tides also sometimes do wait for people to get in the middle of the sea and then pounce upon them from all the sides, a way to ambush humans. However, everyone does agree on the single most unchanging fact in this variable, flexible and changing universe…. trains wait for no one.

Train like life have a fix destination, fix stops and occassionally due to unforseen conditions they do halt at the red signals in the middle of nowhere, but they don’t give up until they reach their destination. Life happens, you like it or no. Just like a passenger can miss a train by a second and that second then gets amplified due to unavailability of another train to the same destination, immediately. Life happens.

There are many trains at the train stations but the train to your destination is only one. The local at morning 6:15, this train had special meaning for all us. Who where the US? A bunch of students who did not know each others name but usually bumped into each other at 6:15 local.

This train saw us pulling crazy stunts at the door, this train saw us studying hard for the exams, this train saw us escape from enuch who walked the corridor. This train formed an unremovable part of the life of Junior college, the 20 minutes spend in the local train formed many many stories. Some nice, some not so nice.

As odd as I had taken Electornics as my specialization in Junior College, the college gave me classes only at odd hours. How odd? Early morning 7:00. Every monday and tuesday people would see me running from the house to the railway station, sometimes some familiar faces used to scold as I ran on the railway tracks.

One fine day after running as fast as we could, we reached the college only to find the notice written on the gate, ‘College closed’

Those were the days of pocket money and with 100 rs per month, going by bus was not an option. We decided to kill time on the railway station till the next train at 9:00. That gave us around an hour to kill on the platform. On the ghostlike empty platfrom we six people were loitering around, ordered a kacchi dabeli (those who don’t know this come to Pune) and sat on the walking platform stairs exactly below the board, ‘Do not sit on the stairs.’

Halfway through Kacchi Dabeli our brain cooked up a brilliant plan, ‘Lets check our weight for free’ exclaimed Kedar. The slot machines for weight checking on the platform worked on a simple principle, he explained to us. You stand on the counter and the levers inside adjust themself t0 the weight you have, when you insert a coin the ticket is printed with an occasional horrorscope or the filmstars info. So the grand plan was, we stand on the platform and Kedar the heightest among us will peep inside the machine and check at what weight the level stops. Yeah, it makes no sense now, but that day it was the best plan ever.

A homeless person saw our antics on the slot machine and for no reason starting shouting, ‘You intelligense people have no akal (brains) you only have money which I don’t have, but I am more smart that you….blah blah blah….’

We had no idea what he meant but were relieved seeing him go out but the relief was short lived, he returned this time holding a small boy in his hands. The little boy was crying, ‘Let me go…. let me go….’

People gathered around, exactly what is happening, they figured the man was the childs father, but that was not the case, which we will see momentarily. He asked the boy to stand on the platform and he put a one rupee coin inside the machine. The ticket was printed and he came closer to us to show the ticket. He proudly showed the ticket to each and everyone of us and then turned around, only to find the boys mother and father standing behind him.

After a few slaps he again recoiled in his ‘home’ and started cursing the intelligense people. That guy had missed his train, but maybe not, he did gain something out of it. Since that day, everyday for two years, he constantly got 12 rs from 6 strangers who used to travel to and fro on the platform.

Monday, December 12, 2011

The whimsical life of death.

She walked the dark corridors in the grace of the wind. Softly,steadily and stealthily she crossed those marbled floors. Being the youngest of the sisters, Death was very good at her job. She made sure she completed her job just as wanted by her Eldest sister Destiny.

Her long earrings and the beaded necklace jiggled as she swivelled around the corridors, giggling to her self. Her brother Life always called her maniac and whimsical, but she deterred. She was good at what she did and what she did was not so good. They all pictured her as a fearly rabid animal or a skull with a wicked grin, some also pictured her as a fat black man with horns as his helmet, if only they knew what she actually was…. she giggled.

But she never understood the mortals fear against her, why did they despised her so much? The only thing Life offered to them was existence and in return her brother siphoned them of their existence day after day until nothing remained, no will to live. Their bodies degraded as the years passed and the weight of time fell on them. She did no such deal, she simply took them away to a better place…. only if they knew what was after death. But her sister Destiny had forbidden to tell them what happens after Death or Destiny will never be free.

She jiggled her way through the walls and heard the voice at her destination.
'Push, Push, Push…’ the doctors screamed, helping the lady in her labour as the baby made his way into the cruel world. He will be crushed under the gravity and bound to Destiny. Long back Destiny had chained the Rules of the Universe to herself, the sum of lives of all the wretched mortals. But their cunning brother had twisted it on them itself, now the Destiny was chained to the rules. Were to rules chained to her or she chained to the rules, no one could tell, not even she herself. But she said it was her Destiny to be chained to the rule book, so there was no escaping it.
Still if Death will tell people what was in store for them after death, her job would be so easy, but then everyone would want death and that cannot be good.
'Push…. c’mon Push….’ the doctors urged, hoping not to use the ventouse for delivery.
She softly stood next to the mother and the baby, deciding which one should she free of the existence. Her mind manically danced on the halfway body of the baby, a cold shudder passed around as the mother felt the energy drained out.

‘Get the ventouse….quick,’ screamed the doctor attempting to save the baby.
She giggled at the fruitless efforts of mortals, trying to prevent the unevitable, let it go already, she though to herself. Its not that you have succedded so far,have you? Her hands danced on the chest of the mother,who found a new form of energy passed on her body and started pushing the baby.
After an effort the baby was out in the hands of the doctor who was being praised by his fellow mortals.
She liked this part of her job very much, new born babies were her speciality, she knew they would suffer the most once she was done with them. Slowly she walked to the baby, now in the hands of the doctor. She was not greedy at all, not like her Brother Life, who at times send more than one mortals and both were bound to each other. She treated her every mortal with respect and separation.
Her cold hands touched the forehead of the new born baby, the baby could not feel anything…. not yet. Slowly she bend over the baby and whispered the words in its ears, ‘I’ll come back for you when your job is done,’ she said.

The baby started crying loudly in a ear deafning noise. The doctors clapped hard and praised the Lord for the miracle. She walked gracefully from the hospital as gracefully as she came. She has just breathed soul into a fresh corpse, now was time to sipon one out of a tired corpse, so the balance in the universe would maintain.
They always praised the Lord for the miracle of life, not knowing that they are at the mercy of Death even to survive. Deaths job was not to take away souls from the corpses, that was already done by Life and Destiny, her job was to guide them back to fresh corpses giving them second chance to survive the Life. Her brother hated that, so did her sister. But she was as whimsical as any.
It was just another day in the life of Death.

Authors Note: Eh, just a twist in the ideology of millenia. Did I succeed? Don’t know whatventouse is, ask a medical student or worst, ask Google.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

[Fiction] The Final Citadel


‘Are we not men?’ he asked loudly fallen on the blackened path. The skies were gone forever, now covered with black haunting darkness, ‘Don’t we deserve another chance?’

Some unknown time before
Slowly cautiously he walked in the darkness. For last 500 millenniums he was in the dark, this was nothing different, this was home. Home sweet home.

It was their evil plan, the cruel Gods who engineered the whole thing. Screwed and cunning Indra and his minions trapped him into the worm hole for eternality.  They cunningly distributed the nectar of life to the Gods. The poor humans never stood a chance, they were taught since childhood to obey whatever was fed to them, even if it was bad. The humans called it fate, the humans said they were not worthy. Of course, that’s why humans were made, unpaid slaves to do the dirty deeds of Gods.

But when the Gods did the same to the demons, they retaliated. ‘Why would nectar of life be given to Gods only? Why should demons accept the fate? No, we demons who with the help of Demon Guru Shukracharya had reversed death, a feat that even God could not achieve, ‘a wide smile came on his face, overcoming death, that’s how he survived the last 500 millenniums.

His sharp eyes sensed something, sharply he turned around. There was nothing. Obviously this was a plane that rested between the surface of earth and heaven, also dubbed as the 5th dimension, this plane knew no direction, no time, and no space. This was the directly passage between seconds, this was the place Krishna instructed Arjun, this was the plane where Shukracharya was killed. This plane will take him where he wants to be… not where when.

Again a hustle, a shadow crossed him in the distant. This plane knew no geometry, so the shadow could be very close by. Silently he removed his witch blade from its scabbard. The witch blade was stolen from death himself, by a thief in the distant seas. No breathing creature could survive its touch to any of the 5 senses. Whoever was lurking around, had invoked its death and he was doing to deliver it.

The blade glowed blue in the dark waiting for the blood. The witch blade had one condition, if it was removed from the scabbard, it cannot be put inside without blood on it, and doing so would result in the death of its own master for the sword demands blood.

Silently he waited in the dark, like a hunter on the prowl, waiting, listening…nothing. Whatever the shadow was, had gone. He had heard of creatures that used this plane to travel, like the cats. Every time a cat was left by the owner in some distant plane, it would hop on in the 5th dimension and reach home back before the owner.

6 minutes before now
As he stepped into the reality, he gasped at the sight of the massive black hole in front of him. The blade glowed in his hand and he clenched it hard. Nervous he stepped up,

‘It’s not worth it you know…’ Agatya voice boomed from behind.

A few months ago
The theft of witch blade was worrying news at the ashram. The students and the teachers panicked on hearing the news. Inside the ashram behind the secret wall on the throne made of pure mud sat Agatya, calm composite with his head hung low.

‘You are the insurance policy of heavens,’ his mentor silently said, ‘the last hope for humanity…’

‘If I snatch the witch blade, I have to kill its owner…’ Agatya inquired.

‘That’s the rule; you cannot wield it until you give it blood of its previous owner,’ his mentor spoke calm and quiet.

Agatya looked into the eyes of the mentor and closed his eyes.

2 Minutes 49 seconds before now
‘You think this is fair, Agatya?’ Aryasura asked, ‘All this while we struggled to keep the balance of the world in place. Are we not men? Don’t we have any say in it?’

‘Let it go Aryasura, it’s not worth it. The inevitable is here, the final hour of doom is on your doorstep. Do you want to spend the last minute of your life fighting?’

‘Then get out of my way, Agatya, LET. ME. KILL. GOD,’ Aryasura shouted.

‘He is not here; it’s only you and me now at the hour of doom….’

At the next second everything happened in a flash, a small mosquito was flying low, looking for a meaning of its existence, a blade flew past it making swishing noise. Aryasura marched towards Agatya to kill him in a blow; Agatya raised his shield to defend from the blow. A clang and a big spark were emitted.

‘Let there be light…Agatya… its fruitless trying to stop me. Witch blade will stop at nothing and you know that.’ Aryasura exclaimed.

‘And neither will I,’ Agatya, ‘And when I die, another Agatya will come to stop you and another and another. I am a thought that will travel eons to stop you. You have 2 more minutes; give your best shot…’

79 Seconds before now
‘It is over Aryasura, you cannot win, not now…’ Agatya was on his knees red from the blood gushing from his arms. Aryasura looked at his work in pride, he had killed the Agatya, and his name would go down as the person who killed Agatya.

‘I stand in front of you wielding the most powerful sword in the galaxy…’ Aryasura said, ‘I have sliced you into half and your life is ticking away. You think this is fair? One fine day God wakes up and decides to destroy the world?  You think Humanity will go down without a fight? No we will not, I stand here representing the 100 millions who have called this planet home. I will not stop until I stop God from destroying the world. He just gave a dusty and rough world; we build a better world than him. We created concrete roads, we created flight patterns, we created bridges better than him, humans are better than God…’

He walked towards the black hole. The ground shook as the reality was sucked into the void, things were pulled towards it. He had 50 secs to stop it, how could he do it?

The witch blade glowed in his hand, yes this was the solution. He murmured the final chant of the mantra; the mantra will bring down the entire force of asura in his blade. He will destroy the black hole in one slice…

Boom, the witch blade exploded in the mid air, destroying the reality with it. Aryasura collapsed.

What happened? Aryasura shook his head as the reality adjusted in front of him. The witch blade had vanished from his hand and so did most of the reality. A small rock lay afloat in the ether giving the final proof of the world that existed before the blast.

‘Are we not men?’ he asked loudly fallen on the blackened path. The skies were gone forever, now covered with black haunting darkness, ‘Don’t we deserve another chance?’

‘Let there be light,’ Agatya spoke from the bloody lips, ‘You were right on one account, God could never defeat humans. He tried hard to build a thing that could destroy the world, but he couldn’t. He was too attached to his creations. But humans are different; we created things that can destroy us. We rage war against each other with some pseudo sense of righteousness. We even fight in the name of God. We dirty our own streets, our own planet just to protect the boundaries that we created ourselves.

You were right, God could never destroy what he created but humans can… and did, you destroyed the reality. Just as any other human weapon, you wielded the witch blade without thinking about its power and so it is, you destroyed the world.’

Aryasura looked at the bloodied warrior speechless, ‘But…’

‘This final bedrock of civilization is spared for you so you may repent of what you did.’ Agatya said, ‘The purpose of life is not to overcome death but to do things that make you prepare for death. The thought that you destroyed everything that you had to protect will be the last sane thought in your head until eternality.’

Agatya closed his eyes for the last time. So did everything else.

P.s. Loved the adventure of Agatya? My own Superhero, read his origin in this story.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

From a Fools Cap to a Smart Phone, the journey of a Note

The entire course of human history would be different if man had never learned to note down things. Many (mad) scientist believe that there is a coherent rivalry between pen and paper against the ideas. There is 72% possibility of not finding a pen and paper for 83% of the ideas. Which is surprising. Human race since ages has been looking for the solution of single most problem that has been lingering around our society, how do I organize my thoughts, my memories, my world in my palm so that I can live a amazing life without being teetered to one spot.

It all started when billions of years earlier when Mr. Stone was on a killing spree, he killed a deer for the first time in his life and wanted to show it to his son. Sadly, the son was (as usual) playing on his Handy Abacus and not paying attention to the father. When he finally turned around to listen to his father, he could not believe it.
'Pah, you get a deer for 70 gold stones, Dod,' (It should be noted that in those days Dad was refereed to as Dod with an O) said the son getting busy in his Abacus again.

Frustrated, Mr. Stone decided that next time he hunts a deer he will keep a proof for it. This was the true story of how man started noting things on the wall. But they had a problem, their notes where in their house walls. So when recession hit them and their house was given up their notes were lost... forever.

While this was going on, in a very other part of the region were much more evolved than these barbaric cousins. These people decided to note down their entire life on a papyrus paper that could be carried with them anywhere. They invented a complex word called hieroglyphics, which was so hard to smell that they never wrote a hieroglyphics on how to actually spell it. This papyrus paper notes, gave them the freedom to move and hence most of them could make it to the promised land, because hey their notes were with them. But alas, the journey through the desert without a single drop of water was tiring and when it one day rained, the entire papyrus got dissolved and most part of history pe pani padh gaya.

But all this was ancient history, we come forward to Germany when one day a fool kept his cap lying on the block of wood. In few minutes he got the best idea of them all, he designed a paper that was water insoluble (but not water proof) that was lighter than feather (so that would make a amazing visual in ceiling fans ad) and more durable, now all he needed was the ink. He imported the ink from a distant cousin in India (which funny thing was actually China, it is known fact that people mistake other countries for India throughout history) the combination of India Ink on the Foolscap paper blew the world. People maintained diaries, journeys, thick paper, thin paper, photo graphs, all kinds of notes, memos.... and so on and so forth.
Humans started using the paper to write memos, draw diagrams, show charts. They shared knowledge, they shared ideas and kabooom.... Evolution happened and humans reproduced to 7 billion population. But there was a problem, the paper would not go away.

It could not be recycled as it contained the data that was to be preserved for future generations, it could not be destroyed as it was important. The pile of paper stack kept on increasing with every passing generation. These were some, who used green recycled paper to write notes and brain storm but the mess was increasing exponentially day by day. This led to a critical situation, a unsolvable question which has left unanswered by 20 generations of human families.... who will throw out the garbage? Scientist are still working on the question.

Meanwhile, Not only this, the paper is made from trees which are sliced down and chopped to make the paper. So while human was getting evolved poor trees were getting targeted and removed. When the tree falls in the forest, even if no one knows about it, it still hurts. 

We are into 600 years of human evolution, shouldn't there be another option to note down things? In the digital world there is never an option for anything there is always an app for it. We have devices that help us take note but none of them give the pleasure of using the Indian ink on the piece of paper, do they? The Smart phones are easy to carry but typing on the screen is not that good idea, the Smart Tablets are easy to type but are bulky to carry. At-least with laptop you can pose as an executive. 

Well fret not for I have something awesome to show you and that's just two days from now. Yes, you heard it right, a single gadget to record the hunting incident from the Mr. Stone era, the Same gadget to let  his son play abacus. The same gadget to let the Egyptians write hieroglyphs on a much durable platform. Not only can it store up-to 32 GB of data with no mess. Can't believe me see for yourself?

It is not a smart phone, is it not a tablet.... behold the legendary cross between the two, its a Note. Samsung Galaxy Note. I would tell you its features but don't want to for you have to see it yourself.

The evolution of Note has its own story which is as awesome as the story above. The Note is THE device small enough to carry around and sleek enough to do all the things you do on the Tab. Armed with a Capacitive touch pen it can also be used to draw pictures and make important markers. It can also be used to solve the eminent problem of not finding the pen and paper at the precise minute of getting an idea.

True Story.

P.s. Samsung has not paid me to tell you this, however if they like it there is a distant lingering possibility that they might donate this man a note to organize my thoughts and keep posts like this coming.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Top 10 Reasons I am not a Stereotype Indian

Life as it stands often comes back in complete circles and however you may not like you, you have to walk on its circumference. However you may want to distance yourself from anything the thing remains with yourself forever and ever. Now, obviously speaking, looking at the title there must be blood boiling in your rage which party or foreign power did I join in, the one interesting in our politics or our religion. Well, nothing like it. The point is with the rise of social networks there is a rise of phenomenon called the Delhi Boy Complex, when there is some article that brings a mass people to senses, they shout out loud to opposite it and in turn prove it.

So as it turns out, I was hanging around with some old buddies and we were discussing this so-called article by an NRI who left India because of certain reasons. I did agree with him on many points, as in, with the Sardar Jokes and stuff, when my old friend replied, 'Dude, you are anyways born in a wrong country, maybe a wrong planet even....'

 That brought me to my senses, I don't mind being born in any country and I am not leaving the country anytime soon (or have no intentions as well), I realized what if the person who causally joked was right? What if I am not a stereotype Indians and by definition of democracy am not an Indian, but a minority who has to struggle to live? (that's just sad cos I don't struggle to live, I actually make others suffer)

The retrospection got me some points with me from which I am nothing the top 10, why I am not an Indian.

I do not swear on the street or for that matter anywhere.
This may be a shocker to many but yes, I have not given those Ma, Bha and other swear words that many Indians pride in giving. I do remember giving a swear word to a person in a verbal brawl in 9th standard but I do regret doing it till date.

I greet Good Morning, thank you to every person who I meet on the way to office.
I see no difference in any office executive, bus Conductor, Office Guard or a janitor. Everyone are doing a job they are assigned to do and everyone has a role in the global chain of events. I don't even abuse or boss over the office janitor while walking.

I refuse to sit in the human pulled rickshaws in the capital of the country.
I have sat in them four times and in the last ride I saw the man very old, nearly the age of my grandfather pulling the rickshaw. That was the last time I saw in the rickshaw, I started walking the streets of Noida or use the dreaded blue line buses (this was year 2008)
I find the rickshaw feudal, inhuman and highly inappropriate. I refuse to misuse the condition of the poor rickshaw puller and tire him to exhaustion.

I do not honk horns on the signal.
Sadly many commuters besides me do not agree with me, they start honking horns as if in some sort of road-rage symphony. I do not join them, however urgent my work may be.

I do not make Sardar Jokes or even forward them.
And for that matter I do not even make Chennai jokes, American Jokes, Jokes on any person (sparing Rajnikant and CID of-course) special not those generalized jokes. If I do like some, I edit the creator to an adjective or a pronoun.
The attempt is not being politically correct but isn't it very bad to stereotype a community and make fun of them? Even the article I have specifically mentioned Stereotype Indians and not Indian, just to clarify.

I have no attraction towards MBA, MS or for that matter any higher studies. 
People always keep on saying, do an MBA, do this, do that etc. I have never really understood it and won't ever understand it. I do not even feel attracted towards the foreign universities, in fact in my first technical book I specifically mentioned Pune University to clarify my point.

I do not oppose higher studies, but going for just hopes of attaining the big fat salaries is completely stupid. I joined Comparative Mythology and Liberal Science as my higher education subjects, people always ask what is the future scope for them, I reply, attaining peace and turning a better human being.

I do not use torrents to download stuff. 
Many people complain that I am wasting my broadband speed by not downloading things, I do not care weather it is legal or illegal... simply speaking, I won't do it. Nay I refuse to do it.

I am completely open about sexuality.
Yes, I had multiple relationships, Yes I dumped them too not because I wanted them too but because we both wanted different things and I don't want anyone to sacrifice her career for me. I am still friends with 2 of my ex and they share things about everything. And yes I am open about premarital sex.

I do not respect elders if they are jobless and give me advise. 
If the elders did nothing in their life, no accomplishment, not even tried for one, just because their hair is grey doesn't mean they deserve respect. At the same time if I do meet a person smaller than me and are trying hard at something or achieving something, I respect them. I respect every person who tries to do something in their life, success or failure doesn't matter.

I do not watch cricket or even cheer for India
For me, cricket is just a game played on the field. I do not understand it beyond that. No, I don't think Sachin is God or for that matter I don't keep fast for the Indian team to win.

It is a well known fact that I do not believe in false pride in the culture and heritage of the country, while the girls are getting raped and children dying but I never thought about this in the similar lines. I have laid out the 10 things that do not qualify me as a stereotype Indian, what are your take on it? Am I qualified to be an Indian? Don't bother to answer, its a rhetorical question.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

What is common between Government, Terrorist and Big Corporations

Our societies and corporations are formed by psychopaths and power honchos who love controlling others life by controlling information. What is common between terrorist organization, Government and corporation? They all breed in silence.
In the study of sociology one understands the structure of the organization of a society. There are two types of leaders, one on which leadership is thrust upon and another who rise up to the challenge and 'dedicate' their lives in leadership. The former we call heroes while the later we call politicians. We usually praise the later for they rose up to the challenge, but we ignore one fact, the people who actually rise up to lead are power hungry, psychopaths and mostly feed on negative emotions. Don't get me wrong, I won't say all are bad, yes there are also a few who do manage to stay uncorrupt but not for long.
The draw of power is so powerful, escaping it is not an easy task as it is. Just as the way moths are attracted to lights, they are pulled from different sect of societies to it. They all are a step closer to Hitler, because the real test comes when one is told to leave the power. Do they leave power as easily as they got it? Or do they fight for it? The psychopaths fight for it with everything they got.
The two political world wars this world witness is proof that nearly all the leaders are psychopaths for they draw from the negative emotions of the war. They love the power over the minds of people and the control over the lives. These are the people who will always take the position of leaders.

It is a sad fate that we all suffer from a emotion called jealousy, we agree to get our life controlled due to sheer jealousy. There is no definite proof as how society was formed, but many scientist argue it was to protect the weak. So that even the weak may survive, but is that so? We find the weak on the street begging, homeless, hungry while the ones who agreed to support them are too busy saving others. The point is, the purpose of building society fails, because in a society everyone should be equal else there is a rise in jealousy and rise in insecurity, resulting in the rise of crime.

Society needs funding to run, and the funding should come from the participants of the society. The first income tax was introduced as war tax during wars in many countries. Before that there was no concept of the tax. The justification given was that more money will be taken from the rich and distributed to the poor, but for quality in the secular society poor should also part some part of the income. People agreed because they suffered from something called Robin Hood complex, so what I spend some money, atleast the rich are also paying more. One thing they did not realize was the rich had the money and with it also had the power to control it. So while the poor and the middle class honestly paid the taxes the rich paid the money with terms and conditions apply.

They fed the already power crazy with more negative inputs and direct benefits and as their nature the leaders show no remorse ruining the lifes of many by accepting these negative thoughts. This gives birth to corruption. In a way if we look back, creation of society in itself gives birth to corruption.

But then is there a way out? Yes there is, the government, corporation, just like terrorist organization breed on control of information. The thing that is not out yet in public. They shiver at the prospect of the information that is released, thus resulting into killing of many RTI activists. However, there is a new funny change going in the world as we speak. The Arab Spring rising, the occupy wall street campaign and the India Against Corruption moment are the first little baby steps of this change. They are enough to shake the steel nerves of the silence. Wikileaks has also shown the next phase in evolution. People may call it something else, but yet we are close the end of the world as we know it is near. The change in the air is the change of something big, something different is coming.

Wait for it...

Friday, October 7, 2011

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, Stop poking me before I kill you

One of the many drawbacks of living in a secular country is that you get in touch with people you want to avoid, day in and out. It was still easy before facebook when these people whom you don't want to meet did not know where you came from or where you went.

You could be that someone who lives in a penthouse on top of the building or you could be Batman, climbing on top of the rooftops wearing the costume of a giant bird. No one could tell, you were shrouded in complete mystery. But now it is different, people definitely know you are on Facebook. So at the end of the day, all the person has to do now is sit in his own dreaded computer and hunt for you to send a friend request.

I detest. It is highly impolite to send a friend request to a person you simply shared few ounces of oxygen in the lift, but there is no way you couldn't tell this would you? We have this new range of facebookiyans, just like orkutiyans who are out there to harass you.

Now, if the movie social network is to be believed Mark Zukerberg was dumped by his girlfriend because of which he went into super high tech way of staking her by creating facebook. He succeeded but as with all successful inventions in the world like the nuclear bomb, the telephone or the reality shows during prime time television, the success of facebook resulted in failure of mankind. Through the millions of pages at the speed of 3G network, I realized the horrible after math of facebook in the office lift. 

As usual I was patiently waiting for the lift to arrive at my floor and reading interesting tweets. The lift in the office also has a interesting attitude. Whenever I want to go on the fourth floor and I press the button, the nearest lift skips my floor and moves on in complete satisfaction of its achievement.

The second lift which has probably drawn the shortest stick as she slowly reaches and groans and moans as it opens its gates to me. Its as if making me ride inside it will put her into some circle in hell.

I got busy waiting for the lift to turn up at the destination when it happened. This man (who I honestly don't know) came from nowhere.
'Hey dude,' he poked me on my back. Yes, literally.
'Hi?' I asked nervously, unsure if he was a gay with a broken gaydar (as told to me by a gay friend, a telepathic signal that lets gays scout gays).
'How are you man, its been so long time since we met...' he exclaims with the enthusiasm of being lost in the kumb-mela with me and somehow reunited during the climax of the film with no logical explanation, 'You did not accept by friend request.'

I have no idea who you are. I have no idea which place you hail from. I have no idea about anything about you, and you want to be friend?

Friendship is something beyond one click, when will people understand? It is easy to send a friend request, it is easy to accept a friend request, but think about it, with every accept I have to share with you my pictures, that can also include pictures of my female friends, my entire life, my job, my location and everything else. If you are using everything with Facebook people can join 2 and 2 and actually map your entire life. The way you think, the way you behave everything. While all this thoughts were rummaging in my mind he retorted.

'I also poked you so many times,' he said, 'You never do reply....'

Then it dawned on me, he was the person I blocked because he send too many pokes in consequently days. That realization made me realize one more hard fact of life, I cannot block him out in real life without a shotgun.

Oh well, I prefer the old method of just being plain rude, 'I don't have time.' I reply simply.

One fine day of total 2 hours we spend together at the airport and she quickly said, 'We should get connected on Facebook'

'Woah woah, hold your guns, baby doll, shouldn't we take it really slow?,' I replied to her dismay.

It is highly impolite to poke anyone on Facebook before you do announce yourself. Shouldn't there be a 3 weeks rule for sending a friend request? How long does it take for a person to be your friend? One day, two days? Weeks? Months?

Talking about being rude, that day I was busy drinking my tea when a friend puffed a cigarette smoke on my face. Instinctively I flapped my hands hoping the smoke won't enter my lungs.
'Dude thats just rude,' he said puffing another smoke on my face.

I glanced at him in disbelief, if only we could unsubscribe from people we never want in life. Life would not be as easy as Facebooking it, isn't it?

Have you read my book yet?

Have you read my book yet?
An epic adventure across space and time