One Size Fits All

When the digital meter of weighing scale shows you 3 digits the universe around you changes. Suddenly you are not a normal human but someone who should be ashamed of his own existence. Every time you walk past a gym or a health club you are reminded (by someone else) about how in bad shape you are. You have to explain in detail to every tom, dick and harry you meet on the street of why you are not in a good shape because the universe is full of people with no belly and you are simply an outsider.
There are many direct assumptions made when you are oversized, for one, everyone who breathes oxygen and capable of communicating in human language is an expert in Obesity charts. They also are knowledgable of Body Mass Index and know how to drive a rocket to the moon. "You are heavily obese," they announced to the general knowledge of everyone around, "Oh is it, I didn't know that." for someone who has touched 3 digits on weighing scale a decade ago, it should not be a big surprise.
The old joke on how many months pregnant spoken by people of different ethnicity, age and gender shows the fringes of limits of our thinking creatively. On last count, 3948 people asked me how many months was I pregnant and decided to laugh on it. To be very honest for the first 32 times I really felt bad but then it was plain sad.

The high point of being fat comes when you go for clothes shopping. You are going through the fabric the mall has painstakingly purchased and kept on display and the salesman is simply looking at you.

"Do you have something in my size," I ask.
"Erm... I..." the salesman, if he is junior, is looking around for his supervisor.
"Yes," the senior walks in all confident, "How can I help you?"
"You have this in a better size?" I ask.
He looks around trying to hide his embarrassment, "You..." he tries to save the day, "Can try this one..." pulling out a embarrassingly largest size but still sufficiently smaller that what will fit you, "It is the largest we have."
"No this won't work, this is two size smaller that what fits me," I say, matter of factly.
The salesman who believes in Santa claus adds, "Try this once every store has a different size chart."
Wait. What.
As always the size doesn't fit and the salesman runs off to do something else.
Sometimes the size does fit and in that case you excitedly ask, "This size fits, you got any colors in this size?"

"Erm... actually... erm...," the salesman fumbles for words, "This is the only piece we have."

Being fat is not usually that bad considering you always get few sympathy points all the time.

"Don't give him a lot of physical work," they say, "he cannot handle it."

Sometimes situations are plain stupid with random facts about being fat.

"...but because fat people cannot balance their bodies, they are more clumsy," proclaimed the teacher with the air of confidence reserved for the spokesperson of a failing political party.
Proving no more scientific or statistical proof the teacher told the impressionable young kids.

But then sometimes it is bluntly funny.

"You should do something about your stomach," she said walking towards me out of nowhere.
"I do," I replied simply, "I eat a lot."

Being fat is not something you are proud of but then again it is not something you should be ashamed of. It is funny to see people looking at your paunch and making random science looking statements. It is also funny for people who cannot run a mile to save their ass while being chased by a giant bear on a metro station make comment of the unhealthy eating habits (bear on a metro station, really? I should work more on my metaphors). But then again having a belly is sometimes fruitful as happened with me during the belly landing.

The world is made of different types of people fat, thin, long, short and many other. There is no one size that fits all and nobody knows what is the right size to be in. You should not worry if you are fat as long as you are fit. After all the future is made up of many people who are fat, you are just born in the wrong century. Your argument is invalid.


  1. I agree with you Sid. When I was really thin, people made fun of me. When I became little fat, people made fun of me. So it is a never ending process. We must stop caring for these comments.

    1. Hey thanks, yeah. I stopped caring for them long back and now I make fun of them


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