The world in its broad diversity and superb ethnicity can be roughly classified into three categories. The creators formed of scientist, engineers, film producers, bus drivers, writers, poets and then we have some normal people who use these services, like commuters, movie goers, normal people etc and then there are some lawyers, marriage bureau and other people who are some how standing in the middle of everything.
There was no need for the aunty to meddle in my affairs but as the carrier of torch for the entire middle man community she opened her mouth in my front,
"I saw you that day," she said, "you were with the girl..."
"I am with many girls, be specific who?" I quipped.
"She was wearing provocative dress and you were doing something unthinkable near the mall," she quipped.
Now, this was a serious allegation, I ordered my brain to open the archives of memories and scan the list of girls I was with in the mall. Obviously, the list was small and it narrowed down to two girls. Now the question of me doing something unthinkable with them in a provocative dress was... completely out of question.
Then I realize this aunty in question existed only in old India and doing something unthinkable could range somewhere in between talking to her to holding her hands (beyond which the Aunty will ask me if if the girl in question was my sister)
"It does not suit a boy of a good household doing those things in public," she said, "You are now coming of age, shall I look a girl for you?"
First, the aunty had no business poking in my life, second, who was that girl I didn't know but I was pretty sure she was not the distant relative of the aunty, she could be related to king kong but. So I decided to give the conversation a you turn.
"Are you still with the XYZ uncle? Do you know what they call aunties who take active interest in young, single boys life? And in this age aunty do you think it is appropriate for you to watch me doing unthinkable in public? You should be ashamed of yourself, what will people think, you talking to me like this. And what it is you are showing girls to boys like me? Don't you have any shame left or is this some part time business??"
I heard she stomped her way away from me and I distinctively heard, 'Manner-less,' as she was walking.
Move over old aunties who have passed their expiry days anyways (no offense to anyone out there, as long as you don't meddle in between others you are not aunty), there are people who are paid to be middle man.
My new found obsession has become travelling in the local bus. First it started with exploring the authenticity of Google Maps who has started posting transit time table in Pune, then my family got worried that I was ill, so it continued.
So the other day I was running towards the bus stop, late as usual. The driver was watching me run towards it and was yawning loudly (manner-less) as I looked into his eyes running, we had the telepathic conversation.
'Wait,' I am coming.
'Don't worry, I am not leaving,' he replied, telepathically.
All of the sudden, the middle man, the bus conductor rang the bell, ting ting and the telepathic link was broken. The bus drove away in front of me. Middle men I tell you.
Finally, Indian Railways have decided to roll new online ticketing service to filter middle mens and the agents, we should be prepared for the next recession? After all, those people who were earning money are not going to take care of themselves are they?
Talking about middle men, I was standing in the middle of the road minding my own business. Ok, actually I was standing in the middle of the road watching a weird man do weird things, (I like to study humans, sue me) this dude comes up to me suddenly,
"Hey, do you need any help?" he asked.
"No, I am fine" I replied politely.
"Then, mister," he said, a bit rudely I may say, " Would you mind getting off from the middle of the road?"
Word of advise people, if you can't find the weird man doing weird things on the street, its probably you.
P.s. I don't know if it has become the status symbol yet, but I am on Google Plus, add me to your circle.
Pehli baat: The title got me laughing.ReplyDelete
Doosri baat: Article is very very good.
Teesri baat: When you wrote 'you turn', you meant 'U turn' ??
Chauthi baat: Nope, there no fourth thing. :)