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Of Arrange Marriage and the debt of Parenthood

When you are born in India, from the zero hour you have a deep long dept with your parents. You are literally born into it with no option or choice. Whenever you talk about living separate people look at you as if you are Osama Bin Ladens right hand man, as if it is a crime to hang until death.

In olden days there was this feudal law that you had to have sex with any girl, your parents lay hand on. There has also been a tradition of sharing your wife with brothers, but that for another day. They left you with no choice and many crore worth of land deal used to be signed between parties. It was better in those days, atleast officially you could get lots of money.

But then the brits landed on our land and got jealous of the richness and they stopped it. They said child marriage is a crime and the elders agreed, what they missed out was totally arrange marriage is a crime Isn't it?.

Now the pseudo modern family of India do not force their kids to marry, they torment them, torture them and finally emotionally blackmail them into marrying the girl of your parents choice, with the greatest weapon known to man... debt of parenthood. They list all the things they did, since you were a sperm and they tell you that. They will emotionally blackmail you and then smile in the community that 'the kid had his choice, we just approved.'

You send a lioness into the lions age, doesn't mean the lion liked her, hello, let him lose in the jungle and see how many lioness he bangs in. Nope, the girl should come from your community, she should be of appropriate age from you and she should have approval stamps on her butts from the longest living decedent in your family.

Government should make it compulsory for parents to put a (*) before purchasing the items in childhood. It is a shocker when you hear about it twenty four years later in a chronological order.

"Beta, you want the compass box right? So here is the deal, I will buy it to you, only if twenty four years later you will marry the girl of my choice," Mothers should say with a signed bond.

They talk about labor pains  mother took while harboring you, holy cow, I don't remember the first three years of my life so that part should be avoided right? But no...they remind it, making you wonder... what exactly where they looking for? a human being or a puppy?

Do I remind you of the day I was made to sit in my own piss, while mom got busy doing some work around house? Should I remind you the time when my head was accidently banged to the headboard and instead of calling the doctor, they rubbed it with hand and said some words which made me believe that there was magic? And what about Santa Claus? Should I repeat the years that they made me act nice because Santa will give me gift? And then after a year of acting nice, when you ask for a sonic blaster gun to destroy your neighborer kids you get a toy car? Do I tell you that? If I try telling.. ill be the bad kid.

The debt is so high, that some random people, whom maybe your parents know, but you don't, get girls for you to show. Now, in a normal world, showing girls is a very bad profession isn't it?
But the same people who call these bad professions bad come with girls to show you on phone call. Now hello, uncle, don't get me wrong, but what is with you and fixing things between two people?

Now, tell me, how can I give graphic details of the girl I want on phone? Lets say I got a hair fetish or maybe a eye fetish? How do I convey this to the uncle who expects me to tell him what girl I want in fifteen minutes.

Don't you find it cheeky when they ask you what you earn before they marry off? Tomorrow lets say I want to leave my job and harbor poultry, am I obliged to work hard then?

"If you have to live in the house and want property, you should listen to us," they announce.
Hello, isn't that feudalism? Wasn't Hitler killed in the process destroying half of the planet earth with him saying these words?

No offense, to the arranged marriage couples out there, but frankly, these things are so complex, that a little schizophrenic mind of mine get so lost with it. And you know what, thats why God send down beer, to face the debt of parenthood,

Cheers.

Comments

  1. ha ha gr8 to see facts of life written down. for this go n watch new series UTV bindass switch the Family

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  2. I loved this one! So damn true. The pound of flesh parents extract from their offsprings is too damn high in India

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  3. Just loved it . . . . I do second your thoughts . . . In fact want to read more posts on the same topic . . .

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  4. Very dicey... I was free to select anyone I wanted. However now that I look back, I was an idiot at 23.Thank God I listened to my parents..

    Insightful writing.

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  5. hmmm... calm down re....
    Its the generation gap :-S

    I dono whoz right or whoz rong.. but definitely somewhere something is seriously wrong in the whole process :-S

    nice write up... but the anger is clearly seen :P

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  6. I also feel the same many times... but that's is what they have seen all through their life. expecting them to behave like us is like expecting too much from them...

    all in all a good read.. :)

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  7. :) You want me to say something sid? :P ;)


    .
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    shilpa

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  8. first of all....great work...

    No words to say after reading to this.....all that u said related to arranged marriage is absolutely absolutely correct..(as I'm exception for the second part..my parents rn't of the kind u mentioned)...happy to see things going in my mind here in the form of beautiful sentences...

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  9. reading this topic first time ..well said..keep it up!!

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  10. Just loved it!!!Superbly written..
    good work man..the way you mixed humuor was really great..
    now coming back to the content..i agree that today both guys and girls face this "debt" situation..its mainly because of the soceity..they are scared of destroying their ego in the public..
    nice too see that some people do show some guts to go against it..lets hope for a better "marriage" world :P

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  11. Arranged marriage apart, During course of my stint as counselling, I am coming across many cases of love married couples finding difficulty in happy living, understanding, adjusting and pulling on within a year.

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  12. I have said this and more believe me. It is the duty of parents to bring up children. Children are not investments for old age, deposits to draw interests from. There is NO question of making them follow the line you tow. You bring them up. That is the parents job. After that they lead their life. Period.
    I have always despised parents who emotionally blackmail by quoting that the mother has carried the child for 9 months and has given painful birth. Like hell she has. So does every mammal on Earth and they keep a dignified silence unlike humans who remind their kids every hour.
    Those are my opening lines here:
    http://shailsnest.com/2009/07/06/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-mother/

    ReplyDelete

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