When you wake up to a brand new year, you expect something different, something new and something fun and then suddenly the gong strikes and at around noon you wake up with a heavy hangover, a horrible headache and a trigger happy family who screams 'Happy New Year' at every second they get chance. If that is bearable, the phone rings every two minutes, spoiling the favorite ringtone which took you hours to finalize and crop in ringdroid (an Android App that lets you cut parts of any song and set as ringtone, oh and I got an Android wuu huu).
So, you wake up late and you walk down to the local shop to get some jam, when you over hear this conversation.
'This time,' wise man number one speaks to wise man number two, 'I don't think I need any resolutions.' He orders a smoke from the local pan shop, and fires it up.
'Of-course,' says the second wise fat man, 'Who needs them anyways? Its a foreign imitation. We don't have to do everything they do, do we?'
'Yes, of-course, we have our so great culture out there,' the first wise man agrees, deeply destroying his one lung with the most ancient cultural tool, 'Who wants to imitate these foreign devils?'
'You do know this ciggirate you are smoking is also their creation?' I interject in between, 'And this fat belly you sprout proudly, that is also not a good 'cultural' thing mister.'
'You see,' the first wise man speaks, puncturing his lungs with four holes, 'This is also a foreign imitating devil, speaks to elders like he has no respect.'
I simply move on to my jam hunt.
A decade into the new millennium and we still see judgmental television ads which mother gets upset on seeing a long haired boy with her girl. The ultimate solution, they device is marriage. So was the neighboring Aunty screaming on top of her voice, 'I do not know what to do, why own daughter is divorcing her husband.' she said, 'These modern kids, I tell you, can't bear a little beating.'
I looked at her spellbound, beating? I heard beating?
'We, in our old days, my husband used to trash me for hours, I said nothing and my own daughter? Separating from her husband for just one beating?' she said, 'Oh how will she face the community members? How will she attend the community marriage? What will I tell my friends, aayioo...'
Why don't you give some foundation to your daughter madam to hide the bruises from trashing she receives.
So, finally we are one decade down the millennium and currently we have a great journey ahead of us. So we did nail some corrupt officers and tainted them black, but remember there are still many daughters not safe here.
Lets see what the coming decade has to offer us. I am sure it will be something really special this time, till then,
Don't mind me, I will always be the agent of chaos disturbing the normal lives and breaking all the plans the normal people have in store for us.
Happy New Year,
P.s. Did you like the new signature for 2011?